Shadow

Chapter 19 - Choices

They sat in the waiting area of the Trauma Center at the Sunrise Hospital, one of the largest acute care facilities found in Nevada.

When Valerie arrived on a stretcher equipped with a C-collar around her neck placed on by the medical technician, a team of physicians, nurses and the appropriate support staff that had the experience in dealing with the injuries she had sustained were already assembled, and in stages of preparing for rapid assessment and treatment. One of the male physicians sealed a bag valve mask over her face since her breathing was weak and insufficient.

She was rushed into the examination room, then a doctor entered and began an initial exam to detect a risk of life, or limb-threatening emergencies. After a brief evaluation, a visual inspection for external bleeding and/or misaligned bones were ordered, alongside with a CAT scan to determine the head injury and an X-ray of her chest, abdomen, pelvis, and legs.

The man in charge, Dr. Howard Marvin assured Abbie that they were doing everything they can for Valerie. The first step was to take tests: blood and tissue samples to help with the diagnoses and treatment. He told her after the tests and the X-rays, and hopefully, if it was safe to do so, they would try to bring her out of unconsciousness. The CT scans would determine what they could do for her next. He said it would take up to an hour for all the tests and scans. He also told her all Abbie could do right now was play the waiting game, which was something she detested. She hated not knowing every single update on her cousin's condition but decided to be patient as she simply had no energy to argue.

Jimmy took her by his side, and they had sat for over an hour, with baby Jack in front of them, quietly sleeping in his pram. And all Abbie could think about was Valerie leaving Jack without a mother. She broke down in the waiting area, sobbing in the palms of her hands while Jimmy consoled her.

'It's all my fault,' she said.

'No, don't say that.'

'But it is. If I hadn't come knocking on her door, none of this would've happened. And Jack would be at home right now with his mother.'

Her stomach twisted inside; she felt physically sick and tried to contain herself from regurgitating. She hated hospitals, especially the disinfectant that was used to give that distinctive smell. Her short nails tried to claw her naked thighs. The only thing that would make it better was that devil dust.

'You can't think like that, Abbie.'

'How can I not? If anything happens to Val... if Jack is left without a mom... I'll never forgive myself. Never.'

Jimmy rubbed her back. 'Everything happens for a reason,' he said softly.

'Is that what you tell yourself? Did Charlie die for a reason?'

Jimmy's face now solemn; his eyes hurt, looked away into the distance. His arm slipped down from Abbie's shoulders.

Abbie felt awful for saying it, but right now, all she wanted to do was lash out and get high. Block out the feeling she had inside her, block out all those negative thoughts that stalked her mind.

'Charlie died because of a weak madman,' Jimmy finally answered.

'I'm sorry. I didn't mean—'

'It's alright. I understand.'

Abbie reached out and gently stroked Jack's arm. It was a relief to know that he had no idea of what had occurred or what seemed to be happening around him. But she knew it wouldn't be long until he missed the shape of the person in his eyes that was his mother. A haven where he would feel safe and receive endless affection.