The Howards

Chapter 20

I spend another three months embracing my husband. I'm feeling grateful that I could hold him in my arms for another three months. That feeling was gone when I found my husband collapsed right in front of me this morning.

We all thought we will have more time with Rick. But when Dr. Carl walked out of the ward with black clouds looming over his head, a solemn look written on his face, a shake of his head confirmed the thought in our mind.

Gemma stumbled back as Ray caught her. Karina squeezed my hand and Randall leaned against the wall, his arms folded. I took a deep breath, my voice trembled, "Do you think I can bring him home?"

Carl nodded, "Sure. I would need someone to sign some paper before I let him out."

Karina stood up, wiping off her tears then she said, "I will go."

Carl looked at me, "I'm sorry Eleanor."

I patted his shoulder, "Thank you." And headed inside the ward to find Rick.

Randall followed me in while Gemma and Ray stayed outside until they compose themselves. Rick opened his eyes; his pale face lighting up when he sees me, a weak smile appearing on his handsome face.

I forced my tears back and sat beside him, "Hey," I nuzzled his hand.

He smiled, "Hey. Not good huh?"

I bit my lips, still looking at him, "We are going home,"

He sighed. I could see Rick using all the strength in him as he started coughing. I soothed him, helping him with a glass of water. Rick looked at his brother, "Why that face, brother?"

I pressed his hand into my face. Randall remained expressionless, "I will go get the car ready,"

Rick reached for the little bump, "Is he giving you a hard time?"

I swallowed back my tears and forced a smile out, "He's excited,"

"Excited to see his mummy?" Rick beamed, "I hope he looks like you."

I want our baby to look like his dad. Somehow, it felt like our baby arrived just in time. To replace his dad. To distract every one of us.

Karina walked in, her eyes swollen, "We can leave now,"

Ray helped Rick up; carried him onto the wheel chair. Rick eyes landed on me, holding his hand out. I smiled, placing my hand in his, "I'm not going anywhere,"

••••

Randall, Ray and Rick are sitting outside on Dream Lake terrace while the ladies are inside, watching them. Outside, Rick started, "I don't have much time left in me. I can feel it. I can feel my own life draining out."

Ray and Randall are both looking at him. Expressionless.

They are allowing Rick to say his goodbyes.

"Dad, I've sorted out my firm. I've sold my shares for the firm, the money will be my assets. I've all stated in my will. My lawyers are still going to take care of Howards legal issues, so you don't have to worry about that. There is also another group of community cases lawyers that I've assigned for mum charity work."

Ray nodded.

Rick continued, "Thank you, dad. For welcoming me into this family with open arms. Thank you for treating like one of your own. Thank you for working so damn hard for this family. I can never repay what you and mum have done for me."

Throughout their entire life with their dad, they have never seen their dad cry before. Today, they watched their dad wiped the tears from his face, looking away from his sons.

Rick turned to Randall, "I have never thought I'll ever say this, Randall. I'm sorry. For sacrificing us so that I can love Eleanor. For being selfish, for choosing to ignore that you're still living in pain because I married the love of your life."

"Don't say it," Randall warned his brother.

"El talks in her sleep. Sometimes, she will still call out for you, Randall. I hate to see my wife become a widow. I hate to see her going through the pain of losing someone again. I wish you can take the love I have for her, along with yours, love the baby like your own." Rick bit his tongue, his shoulders heaving, "What I took away from you, Randall, take it back now. Help me take care of her and the baby."

"And, my brother," Rick squeezed Randall's arm, "Thank you. Thank you for turning away from us, allowing me to have all I've ever wanted. Thank you for everything you've done for me. For El. I've never say this before. I'm so damn lucky to have you as my brother."

Randall broke down. He finally broke down into pieces, after trying to numb himself for so long. He held his brother in his arms, "Goddammit, Maverick. Goddammit,"

••••

Ray excused himself, going back to S.Angel. Gemma and Karina are saying their goodbyes now. I watched Gemma and Karina crying as they hold Rick in their hands, listening to whatever Rick is telling them.

Randall sat beside me, his eyes red. We both sat in silence, watching.

We watched Gemma kissed her son goodbye and went back to S.Angel while Karina still sitting there, looking at her brother with tears in her eyes. She nodded at whatever Rick was saying, kissed her brother on his forehead, then stood up.

She turned Rick's wheelchair so that Rick is facing me, behind the window, Rick held his hand out to me.

It's time to say goodbye to my husband.

••••

Randall helped me with Rick as we strolled to the lake. We found Diana standing by the water, waiting. She purred at the sight of Rick. Rick smiled, brushing his hand over her head then down her neck.

Randall took a step back, gave us the alone time.

"El. My love," Rick looked at me. I lowered myself down so that I can reach his height. He took my face, planting light kisses on my face, "I don't have much time, baby. Don't cry and listen to me okay?"

His green eyes staring right at me, right into my soul, "It hurts to know that I'm leaving you. It fucking hurts so badly that I hope I will have more time. More time to see the baby. More time to love you."

"I can't do it, Maverick." My tears escaped, "I can't live without you."

Rick kissed my tears away but it just keeps flowing. Diana screamed as if she felt something. "Remember how I told Diana being my guardian angel?"

I nodded. Rick smiled, "I'll be your guardian angel, Eleanor. I will be your Diana. You are the best thing I ever had. I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. Never, ever doubt my love for you." Rick called out for Randall and he placed Randall's hand on mine, "You belong here. You belong to him. Stop turning yourself away from the person you truly love. I was so selfish, Eleanor. So fucking damn selfish that I refused to acknowledge that you're still in love with Randall. I robbed you from who you truly love."

I shook my head, taking back my hand and putting it on his face, "I want you, Maverick, only you."

"I know," Rick closed his eyes, allowing himself relax against my touch, "I know, baby. Once I'm gone, I wish you can love others again. El, goddammit, El."

He used his remaining strength to pull my hand to his lips, kissed the wedding band on my finger, "I love you, Angel. Forever and always, till death do us apart."

He closed his eyes, tears trickling down his cheek with a peaceful smile on his face.

"I love you so much, Maverick. Forever and always. Till death do us apart," I whispered as Randall and I watching him as he took his last breath.

Randall knees buckled. He kneeled down on the ground, started wailing. I placed my face on Rick's lap, letting my tears soaked his pants. Rick is no longer here to wipe my tears away. Rick is no longer going to kiss me and tell me how much he love me.

Diana screams echoed throughout the whole plot of Howards land. She leaped away, merging herself into the darkness.