Dull Light } A Sanders Sides Fanfic

Part Four

TW: SELF HARM

You have been warned.

      The three Light Sides watched as Virgil had practically flown out the door, too fast for anyone to stop him. Roman felt rage bubbling up inside of his chest. The feeling only grew as he shifted his furious glare to Logan, who's eyes were wide and filled with concern and realization. The Intelectual hadn't meant to lash out on the smaller, anxious boy, and was now drowning in guilt for insulting him.

    Roman paid no attention to the hurt that was in Logan's eyes. The royal only took two steps to reach Logan, he grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look him in the eyes. "What is wrong with you?!?" he screamed. Burning tears ran down the prince's face, his eyes were beginning to redden. He bared his clenched teeth in an effort to avoid sobbing.

    Roman had grown to enjoy Virgil's company over the years. He had enjoyed binge watching all their favorite Disney movies together, he had loved it when Virge would agree to go on pointless adventures with him just to keep Roman happy, and he had actually grown quite fond of some of Virgil's choice of music, even though he still thought his own was much better. They had grown so close as friends and now all because of Logan, he was gone.

    "Why would you scream at him like that?!? Logan, you know he already has enough trouble staying happy..." Roman finally lost all self-control and collapsed onto his knees, letting go of Logan's shoulders, and breaking down into a sobbing mess. Why was he so emotional right now?

        Logan seemed to read the prince's thoughts. He regretted showing any emotion he may have shown. I shouldn't feel anything. He thought. He reapplied his emotionless mask and knelt down with one knee beside Roman. "It seems that because Virgil is having a rough time, we all have heightened negative emotions." He paused and thought for a minute. "He must be thinking so negatively that it's making it as if the entire mindscape is his room... This will certainly not have a good impact on Thomas."

       Roman snapped out of his sobbing at the final part of Logan's statement and gaped, "And  who's fault do you think that is, calculator watch?" Roman's words came out cold and sharp like broken shards of glass. Logan couldn't help but wince at the bitter accusation. "Roman, I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean-" "DO I? DO I KNOW, SHERLOCK?! HOW DO I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN EVERY WORD YOU SAID TO HIM?"

     Patton took a step towards the two contrasting sides, his face streaked with tear marks. Both Roman and Logan transferred their attention to their father figure. Patton took a minute to collect his thoughts so he didn't speak out and ruin his sentence, "Ro-.. k- kiddo..." he managed to stutter out, "...did you say that Virge was having a hard time staying... happy?" The prince's face seemed to drop in terror and realization as if he hadn't meant to say that part.

•

Roman thought back to the day he and Virgil had been sitting next to a waterfall eating milk and cookies Patton had packed them for their adventure.

Roman remembered the entire week before that Saturday evening and all the begging and pleading that he had to do just trying to get Virgil to come with him. Princey hadn't wanted to go with Logan, half because he knew Logan wouldn't want to participate anyway, and half because he knew Logan would just question everything he said and make him feel as worthless as a wind-powered fan. He didn't want Patton to go with him because he didn't know if he could bear any more of his puns than he had to.

He remembered when he and Virgil were eating. The smaller, darker-dressed male had reached for a napkin after spilling some milk on his pants and muttering every cuss word in the book, Roman found the whole event quite amusing. He remembered the feeling of his heart falling deep down clear to his stomach where a knot of concern and worry was forming. He remembered how it felt as if his chest was caving in on itself. There were purple lines marking the anxious side's wrist.

The Royal grabbed the wrist of the other and pulled his sleeve all the way up to his elbow rather roughly. Both of their eyes widened. After a lot of crying and explaining, Roman had made Virgil promise to stop cutting and told him that his door was always open if he ever needed to talk to anyone. Virgil had made Roman promise not to tell anyone about his depression. Roman had reluctantly agreed, but he never broke a promise... at least not intentionally... and Virgil started to get better and better after that day, he still struggled but he was showing some improvement.

   •

Roman snapped back to the present. It seemed that his little flashback had only taken a few seconds in the real world. Logan's eyes widened, he hasn't even acknowledged that small fraction of Roman's outburst, " Roman, the fact is I am slightly curious to what exactly you meant by that, would you mind telling us?" There was something about the way Logan said those words that made the prince want to tell them everything. Something that made him feel as if he were required too.