Billie and Brandon: Unpredictable Circumstances

5

Billie sincerly hoped her mom could not hear her retching from the kitchen. She was collapsed on the bathroom floor, clutching the toilet bowl as if her life depended on it. If her mother were to randomly open the door, she would have no doubts that Billie was pregnant.

"Damn..." she grumbled, throat raw and stinging. "Bean, you're killing me."

The last time she'd gone for another check-up, about a week ago, Dr. Torres had told her that the intensity of morning sickness per pregnancy varied greatly, and that she would most likely be experiencing it for a while since she was early in. It sucked. She was almost ten weeks into her damn pregnancy. Billie just wanted this whole vomit at the slightest disruption thing to stop. She had been eating more, but all this puking couldn't be good for her. Or jellybean.

But on another note, she had heard Jellybean's heartbeat for the first time, and it had sounded like a pack of galloping horses. She knew Brandon would have loved the comparison...But he still was unaware of her pregnancy. She had tried to let him know several times, but the timing was always off, she would lose her nerve, or she was interupted before she could find the courage to start speaking. She suspected Brandon was starting to think there was something wrong with her again, but if he did, he hadn't said a word yet and for that she was grateful.

She stayed on the floor for a few more seconds, riding out the wave of another bout of nausea. She practiced those meditations recommendations Gigi had given her, thinking about scents and people who calmed her down.

Drew's laugh, Drew's goofy grin, Drew dropping her toothbrush in the toilet, Drew shouting at the toilet, Drew kicking the toilet, Drew holding her foot...Brandon's cologne...

The nausea hurricane passed.

Sighing and finally feeling better, she flushed down the puke and cleaned herself up in the shower to get ready for another somewhat irritating, but no longer agonizing day of school.

Once showered, she went back to her room and threw on the first clothes she could find on the floor. Her pants were a little loose, and Billie observed herself in the mirror. She had definitely lost weight. And it was probably from all that puking. She'd probably never fit perfectly in her clothes again. After that, it would be weight gain after weight gain after weight gain. By around Christmas time and her birthday, she'd be in her second trimester, and she would definitely put on a lot more weight.

Guess I'll be putting maternity clothes and sweatpants on my list to Santa.

Curiously, she snatched a pillow off of her bed and tucked it under the front of her tee. She walked around, bouncing up and down and rubbing her abdomen, testing what it was like to hold a baby. She'd be there in several months. Why not try it out now? She looked like she had a lumpy balloon under her shirt and snorted.

It was odd seeing herself so rotund and bloated like a balloon, but strangely, she kind of liked it. It brought out something very maternal in her.

Billie could just imagine herself as a young married woman, expecting the birth of her Jellybean with her husband. And then she cut her train of thought quickly because she realized she had been seconds from imagining Brandon as the husband. It was ridiculous. Her and Brandon? He would never marry her. He was meant for great things, and she was Billie...

Maggie tapped twice on her room door with her knuckles, "Billie? You almost ready for school?"

"Uh, yeah. Just a sec!"

She scrambled to pull the pillow out and tossed it in a random corner just as her mother opened the door. Billie pretended to search for something on the ground, tucking some loose hair behind her right ear nervously.