Break Ups and Make Ups

Part 1

I follow Yamato inside the house,avoiding the harsh push of the door from him. Yamato's furious,and I don't know why this time!

"Yamato,what on earth is wrong that you're avoiding me like this?!"

Silence.

"Yamato!"

He kept quiet. Every time I go near him,he walks away. When I try to touch him,he pushes me away. This is breaking my heart.

"Yamato. Please tell me what's wrong. Did I do something wrong? Did I say anything?"

"...I don't want to speak."

"Why not?!"

"Because! Why don't you go to Akihiro and talk to him huh?! He seems to know everything!!"

He yelled. That's what this is about? Akihiro? What did he do?"

"Yamato. You know I love you right?"

"Heh,Sure you do."

He walks away from me,his brow furrowed. Why would he say that?!

"What has made you so angry that you would say that?! You know I do! If I didn't,I wouldn't have wasted five years of my life staying with you!"

I follow him,about to break down in tears. If this is him being jealous,I think he's taking it too far. Akihiro is just my friend. He knows that too. Yamato knows we've know each other since childhood,but he's choosing now to be jealous? And I've seen Yamato jealous before. It's normal. But this? This is a whole new level. He won't even talk to me. He won't even look at me either.

"Yamato,whatever I did to make you mad like this,whatever Akihiro did,I'm sorry. I am. I love you. You know that..."

"Hoshi. Please. Just leave. I don't want to speak to you..."

"...if that's what you want...just know,my feelings have never changed."

I look down and walk out the room. I leave the apartment and start going in the direction of Long Island. I just want to talk to uncle right now. Not even talk. Just sit there in his arms,feel like I'm 5 again. When I always used to cry cause I missed Ren when he wasn't with me and him. Uncle Kuni always held me.

I just want to leave those other memories.

----time skip----

I walk into the bar. As soon as Uncle and the other guys see me,their laughing instantly stops. Takao walks up to me,along with Saeki.

"Hoshi,what's wrong?"

"Why are you crying?"

I reach up to touch my face. It's all wet. I guess I was crying. Uncle runs over to me,worry and confusion written all over his face. He looks down at me and wipes my face with a tissue.

"Hoshi,what happened?"

"...that's what I want to know..."

I feel tears start rolling down my cheeks again. Uncle wraps his arms around me,gently caressing my hair. This feeling brings me back to childhood. When Uncle Kuni used to do this to comfort me. I bury my face in his chest,tears slowly streaming down my face. God. I'm sobbing like a baby.

"Shh...it's okay. I'm here. Just let it out."

Those words of comfort just make me cry even more. The guys must feel so awkward and worried. Yuta must be thinking of a bunch of jokes to tell me after. Takao must be thinking about what food to make me happy. Ren is probably thinking of hugging me just like Uncle is while Takao makes food and Yuta tells jokes while Saeki just talks to me and smiles trying to make me happy. And that's just what happens. After I cry my eyes out on Uncles clothes,Ren holds out his arms and I sit next to him hugging him. Yuta tells me such stupid jokes I have to laugh. Takao and Uncle go into the kitchen,the sounds of pots and pans and the smell of food being made fills the whole room. Saeki sits across from me,just talking. Smiling at me. Ren rubs my arm. These guys. I would do anything to have them in my life forever. They don't even question why I burst in the bar in tears. They just know they have to comfort me. They really are awesome friends. Tears starts to form in my eyes again,thinking about how if Yamato was here,he'd shoo everyone else away and just hold me and kiss me and not let me go. I don't even notice the river of tears streaming down my face. I don't even notice myself start sobbing into Ren's clothes. I don't notice Ren's arms hugging me tight or Saeki's hand caressing my head or Yuta's kind and funny words trying to make me smile. All I see,

Is Yamato.

----

After eating Takao's wonderful food and listening to all the stupid jokes Yuta has told me and after Saeki ran out of things to say and Ren's clothes are wet,Uncle comes up to me where I'm sitting in Ren's arms. He looks at me seriously.

"Hoshi...do you want to tell us what happened?"

And I do. I tell them all about how me and Yamato were just walking home. How I got a text from Akihiro. How he got furious and started walking ahead of me. I told them about our fight. How he said he didn't want to talk to me. I started crying again. I'm like a freaking waterfall. The tears just don't stop. Ren hugs me so tight and holds me and speaks to me. He's just the best brother ever. Uncle told me to go upstairs to one of the rooms for some rest,and that we'll talk more tomorrow. Yuta walks me upstairs and tucks me in bed. He ruffles my hair and smiles.

"Sleep okay? We'll all be downstairs if you need us."

"Thank you Yuta..."

"No problem."

He smiles again and I smile back. His smile is like contagious. He walks out the room,slowly closing the door. I'm left alone in the dark room,the only source of light being the beam of the moon from the window. I curl up in my blanket. I feel warm,but yet I feel so cold. I don't have that big protective body holding me. I don't have those kind,loving words in my ear. I don't have that warmth.

I miss it.