Nala

CHAPTER ONE

Akala ko mabilis ako. Bilang ko bawat baitang ng hagdan namin. Pero sadyang mas mabilis siya. He grabbed my foot and pulled it towards him. I lost my balance and I fell midway up the stairs. The impact sent a piercing twinge to my elbows and hips. He fucked me up good, but that bastard had to do better than to trip me. Get up, Nala! Bangon! Mahigpit ang pagkakahawak ng gago sa paa ko. His grip on my foot triggered a memory I thought had gotten erased a long time ago—a fear I once had came rushing back to me!

Ako si Maria Hannallah Agueda-Lazaro. As a baby, my mom called me Hannah. After watching The Lion King, I insisted to be called Nala. Six years old pa lang ako dilat na third eye ko. I don't think it ever closed, even for a night's rest. Kahit kumurap never ginawa ng third eye ko. Bukas siya twenty-four hours na parang Ministop for twenty-seven years na at wala yata talagang balak magsara. I learned to live with it, but my ability to sense the unseen kept testing me.

In 2001, my dad, Josefino Agueda, decided to quit his job as a cameraman for PTV-4 before its rebranding as National Broadcasting Network under President Arroyo. He moved to the States and went back to school to get his CNA certification. Right after completing the program, Daddy worked at his uncle's care facility in Carson, California to support me and my mom.

Si Mommy naman, she sold affordable life insurance policies. Kilalang-kilala ng mga parents sa school ko si Maria Gliceria Hilao Agueda, ang notorious insurance agent ng Zabarte Road sa Novaliches. Pati mga tindera ng fishball at isaw sa tapat ng main gate di nakaligtas kay Mommy. Her monthly commission covered for our daily expenses. Inipon lang niya yung mga remittances from Daddy. After a year of non-stop working and saving money, we bought a property in Fairview, Quezon City para daw malapit sa school ko and madaling puntahan ni Tita Naz. Sobrang nabilib ako kay Mommy! In my dad's absence, she was juggling errands, work, and being a mother on a daily basis. Sa gabi, life coach pa siya ni Daddy over the phone. She kept reminding Dad that someday their sacrifices will pay off and we would reunite as a family.

Dati, since hindi pa masyadong urbanized ang Fairview, car chase scenes in action films where shot there. Ang luwag ng mga kalye at wala pang traffic noon. Puro damuhan pa ang Fairview those days at pinakamataas ang mga damo sa village kung saan kami bumili ng property. Siguro totoo nga yung chismis na madami daw sinalvage sa area na yun kaya naging pataba sa lupa yung mga bangkay. At bilang bukas na bukas na parang nakaunli-kape ang third eye ko, I saw multiple shadows around the village. That house was the fruit of my parents' hard work kaya mas inuna ko na pairalin ang pagiging grateful and practical kaysa sa pagiging duwag.

I tried being brave as a kid, trust me. Pero meron times that I had my guard down. I don't know how ghosts sense it, but they appear when I least expect them. Sa Fairview house ako natuto gumising na hindi agad dinidilat ang mga mata ko. One night, nagising ako kasi may kumalabit sa paa ko. Akala ko ginigising ako ni Mommy kasi I had to get ready for school. Dumilat ako pero hindi ko masyado makita si Mommy sa dilim. I reached for my Hello Kitty lamp sa bedside table and I pulled on the string to turn the light on. Pagtingin ko sa paanan ng bed, hindi si Mommy ang nakita ko. Isang lalaki na malaki ang ulo pero walang mukha ang kumalabit sa akin. Halos wala siyang buhok kaya kita ang mga ugat sa tuktok ng ulo niya. Gumagalaw yung parte ng mukha niya kung saan dapat may bibig. Hindi ako nakagalaw sa sobrang takot. Kahit ang sumigaw, hindi ko nagawa. I was already seventeen when it happened, but for the first time in a long time na-ihi ako sa kama. The discomfort of wearing a soaking pajama and the warmth from the damp mattress under me triggered my body to move again. I shrieked in fear. Mommy quickly came and nawala yung lalaki. After that incident, Mom gave me a tactical heavy-duty flashlight to make me feel safer. Mabigat yung flashlight, ideal daw na pamalo sa mga nananakot sa akin. I just accepted it kahit alam ko na ghosts can't be hit. Also, she insisted that I sleep in her bedroom from that moment on. That was when I started waking up with my eyes still shut and I'd only open them after I hear my mom's voice telling me to do so.

Three years lang kami sa bahay na iyon. During one of Dad's nightly calls to Mom in 2005, he asked us if we'd be open to the idea of migrating to the U.S. Sayang naman daw yung opportunity na ma-petition niya kami as H-4 visa holders at para daw kumpleto kami. I totally understood Daddy, but I was half-hearted kasi twenty years old na ako that time. I built a solid circle of girlfriends at UP Diliman and I was dating Christopher Ravena from Ateneo. Hindi ko naman kakayanin kung iiwan ako ni Mommy sa Fairview house. Mahirap na at baka bumalik yung lalaking malaki ulo na walang mukha. Eventually, I gave Mommy my approval and she arranged for our one-way tickets to Los Angeles, California. On July 4, 2005—Independence Day sa States—my mom and I reunited with my dad.

Ano nangyari sa bahay sa Fairview? Ipinagbilin ni Mommy yung bahay sa ate niya. Si Maria Nazaria Hilao ang older sister ni Mommy, but I call her "Tita Naz" para cool pakinggan. Nakatira siya sa Menrey Village, Novaliches at branch manager siya ng isang banko across Ever Gotesco. Twice a month, binibisita ni Tita Naz yung bahay kasama ang maid niya na si Belen. Instruction ni Mommy kay Tita Naz na patugtugin yung radyo ng malakas para di pamugaran ng mga multo yung bahay—this is one of the many reasons why I love my mom so much. Hindi ko alam kung naniniwala siya sa paranormal, but I guess it was enough for her that I believe.