A Silent Party

Blue Light

With a startle, you wake up in the middle of the night. The room is in complete darkness. You're cold and gasping for air, but still you sense a thin layer of sweat all over your skin. The dream you had is the responsible for this: you dreamed it was almost midday, your father had left without saying goodbye to you and you were left alone, locked in these chambers.

You turn on the bed to see if Hux is sleeping. Judging by his deep breath, he is. You move in order to take a part of the sheets for yourself without disturbing him, but your efforts are in vain: as expected of someone like him, he is a light sleeper, and the first pressure your elbow makes on the mattress is enough for him to sit on it and ask if everything is okay.

- Yes. It was just a bad dream.

You keep your answer as short as possible to not give him chance to ask a second question, but your precaution is useless: he turns and activates a bluish lamp on his side of the bed, then looks at you to take his own conclusions. You can't see yourself when he does it, but the preoccupation on your face is obvious to him, even at this soft light.

- You are thinking about your father. And the farewell. I understand.

He strokes your chin as an attempt to calm you down. It doesn't work, less because of the circumstances and more because he doesn't know you so well that he can comfort you with just a gesture. But you don't point out the inefficiency of his response; you don't feel it'd be fair, not so soon in your common life. Besides, you are not willing to start a discussion, not when you should be sleeping.

However, now that you are fully awake, you have no reason to not ask what's been around your mind since the party:

- Why does my father have to leave so early?

Hux is not intimidated by the direct question.

- I believe he told you about the reasons. The people need to be informed about the treaty and the main terms as soon as possible, and your father is meant to lead this process. There is no time for him to waste.

This answer doesn't sound more convincing than when it came from your father's mouth a few hours ago. But, unlike your father, Hux is not used to give additional explanations to what he says, and his words sounds like the end of a conversation. This irritates you more than assures you.

- I don't believe it's something that cannot wait for just one day – you watch your tone, for the room is too silent for any whisper to turn into a yell – Guess I am better not sleeping so I will not lose his departure.

His face is covered in the penumbra, but you recognize the signs of a smile growing on it.

- Fortunately, these extreme measures are not necessary, for I will go with you.

It's not exactly a surprise for you to hear that, but this time you can't control your mouth and say the first thing that came to your mind at this moment:

- Otherwise, the possibility of me losing the chance to say goodbye to my father would be real. Is that what you're saying?

- What I am saying – with a gesture of his fingers, Hux brushes your hair behind your ear; his voice doesn't change – Is that, given the unpleasing circumstances, being at her side during her father's departure is the least I can do to my new wife.

Now you decide that it's time to keep quiet. You don't like the role you're playing right now. It is not like the one you played at the meeting or at the party; this time, you just took the risk to be nothing but annoying. You nod and start to arrange the sheets. You lay down and turn your back on him as you cover your shoulders.

You notice when the blue light turns out and close your eyes, concentrated on recovering your sleep. Soon, you sense him laying back on his place, but not on his previous position: you feel his arms passing around you and his lips leaving a kiss on your shoulder under the sheet. You move, trying to pull yourself away, but then your hear his voice.

- Do not be afraid. I am used to keep my word.

You stop moving, thinking about this. In this matter, he has been honest with you since you both crossed the chambers' doors. You asked him for some time; he didn't try to take you after that; he passed your first test. Besides, you did not object to caresses. In fact, after being used with his manners, which looked too dramatic for your taste, you sensed a bit of gentleness in them. You sense it now, and you even think they're better than having his back turned to yours on the bed. You are yet to know the other sides of him, but for now you can handle this one.

You know, it's the girl in you speaking: you are tired, full of doubts and alone; all you want is to give in for a moment, and let him carry you; you want to open up to him and not have to worry about anything. You notice you're starting to feel aroused; soon, you're considering to give up your request and ask him to kiss you, to touch you, to take you right now... Well, look, what tiredness and lack of attention do to you!

You move a little and ask him if he's awake. Once he confirms, a brief conversation takes place.

- What happened?

- I wanted to know.. What did you want to talk to me tomorrow?

- So, you were awake.

- Yes. Can you answer me that?

- I wanted to say that I know what you are doing.

You shiver in his arms.

- What do you mean?

- Since the first time we met, I knew you were testing me. I cannot say I have not been doing the same to you. But you have nothing to worry about, if you think I am taking this as an offense. No, in fact, I've expected nothing less than you. Do not think you were not doing a good job just because I noticed it. It is too soon for you to understand, but here in your new home, such level of preparation is not too much.