His Willow

Chapter 8

It's been an hour since the doctor informed us about my injuries and since then I've been getting my strength back and forced to eat all these different types of food by Alaric.

There was so much food; it was making me full just looking at it.

He was sitting on the edge of my bed now with my back resting against his chest; I was so much more comfortable than I was before, and I think he could see that on my face. I waved him off a few times, trying to say that it wasn't necessary and I was fine where I was. But he insisted and joined me under the thin blanket, rubbing my shoulders and keeping me warm.

It was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.

"Come on angel; you need to eat more," Alaric said, guiding the sandwich towards my lips but I retracted, feeling extremely full already from the strawberry yoghurt and banana I had earlier. Alaric was getting frustrated, and it really made me feel bad, but I honestly thought I was going to throw it all back up if I ate another bite.

"Baby you need to eat much more food, you're so thin and need filling up." He said, running a hand through his hair in annoyance and placing the sandwich back on the sliding table.

I felt so guilty and ashamed, but I really was full, I wish I could tell him with words, but I also can't do that. I can't seem to do anything right.

Grabbing the small notepad beside me, I wrote down that I was full and would be sick if I ate anymore. I lifted the pad to show Alaric, and he sighed and rested his head on my shoulder, breathing heavily and making me feel terrible about myself for not following his instructions.

I'm such an idiot; he's the one that knows what's best for me!

I've spent my life scavenging for scraps of food, and when I finally have it, I'm turning it down, what has gotten into me?

Turning my head to face Alaric, still leaning on my shoulder, I bent over to grasp the sandwich, and with shaky hands, I took a bite, then again and again till the whole thing was gone.

My jaw was working overtime, and it took me ages to cram it down my throat, feeling my stomach about to burst and my face droopy from chewing so much.

Alaric hugged me from behind and rubbed circles on my stomach.

"You did so good angel; I'm proud of you." He whispered against me, feeling happy that I did what he asked.

My happiness and his was short-lived when I felt my stomach churn, and the food was rapidly coming back up my throat.

I panicked and quickly faced the side of the bed, so I didn't vomit on their nice sheets. My body was shaking, and my stomach was very upset with me, not being able to take that amount of food I consumed.

"I'm so sorry love," Alaric repeated over and over again, patting my back and holding my hair away from my face. Two doctors rushed into the room and shoved a bucket in my face, making me retch and hurl more vomit into it. I swear there was more vomit than the food I had eaten; I didn't understand where it was all coming from.

It felt like my body was rejecting more than just food, it was rejecting the pain and torment inflicted on my defenceless form over the years, and it had a mean sour taste.

The doctors were cleaning up my mess on the floor and spraying the room, trying to rid the toxic smell and leaving the room exactly how it was before.

"I'm sorry Doc it was my fault, I gave her too much to eat," Alaric said brokenly to one of the doctors, rubbing my back and rubbing his face in what looks to be shame and sadness, two emotions that didn't look good on him.

"Luna's body needs to adjust to different levels of food; I'll give you a food plan Alpha that will help Luna get her strength up." The doctor said curtly, placing down more papers on the table for us to read later with a slight bow of his head.

I was now all cleaned up, drinking lots of water to get the horrid taste out my mouth, Alaric kept apologising every five seconds, and as much as I liked him, it was driving me insane.

He had me wrapped up in his arms so securely and tight; it all felt so overwhelming. I had only been here a few days; I don't understand why he was touching me so much and saying all these nice things, I know my life hasn't been normal but is this?

I bent forward and broke away from his arms, leaning on my hands and scrunching my face up and rubbing my forehead, images and memories flashing through my head and souring my mood.

It was self-sabotage. I do this all to myself.

This is the happiest I've ever felt in my life in the past few days; it feels so surreal that it doesn't feel genuine for me, and I don't know how to handle that.

It feels like it's all crashing down on me all at once and I can't take it.

I bury my head in my hands and cry all the emotion out of me, tears soaking the thin bedsheets beneath me, and my eyes burn in pain.

I feel Alaric behind me, trying to break my hands away, but I was shaking him off, too upset and embarrassed for him to see me so emotional.

I felt his arms shaking against my back, almost as if they were vibrating. I shook off the thoughts quickly, and they were replaced with embarrassment and anger, anger that I would ruin the moment with my insecurities and low self-esteem getting in the way of everything, embarrassed that Alaric has to see me break down like this. He has been nothing but kind to me, and this is how I repay him.

My crying had turned into wailing, probably scaring off anyone walking by and peeking into the room. I couldn't seem to stop myself, as much as I tried slapping my hand over my face, it didn't tune out my loud sobbing, and I couldn't hold my hand up for more than a second, my shaking body using up all its energy, so I was slumped over and feeling utterly drained.

Fully zoning out my surroundings, I wasn't aware of what was going on behind me.

Loud grunts, bones snapping, and the bed squeaking was even louder than my cries, halting my tears and feeling a sudden burn in my heart. My eyes were cloudy and my body was numb, making it remarkably difficult to keep myself together and find out what was going on.

Rubbing the tears away and pinching my wrists, I turned my head around slowly, frightened at what I was going to find behind me that was so aggressive and invasive.

Expecting to see an angry Alaric shaking like he sometimes does, I find nothing. Nothing was there, only torn sheets and the pillows creased.

My eyebrows knitted in confusion, wondering if I saw things or if I was finally deranged.

As I turned away and faced towards the floor, I believed I was crazy at that moment, because I must be dreaming.

Staring at the white floor in this tiny hospital room, stood a massive midnight black wolf with emerald eyes, piercing into mine and looking deep into my soul.

I was frozen, couldn't move a muscle.

Forgot how to breathe.

This is my descent into insanity.