My chemical romance

He burns my skin, but you might get another look in, if I don't die tonight

Story 3
Gerard's POV
Shots echoed through the darkening sky as I dived to the ground, sliding into the nearest trench on the slippery mud. Of course, that meant falling seven feet to the bottom and landing painfully on my back as the rain began to fall in fat, wet drops. I groaned, rolling over slightly, too exhausted to move any further. I opened my eyes, blinking the rain away, but enjoying the feel of water on my face. The last time I'd had a bath had to have been some time last year, before we all got sent to the front. I ran a hand through my long, black locks that now lay plastered to my face, gasping in the chilly evening air, and thanking every god in existence for another day survived.
"Gerard?" a voice called. "Shit! Mikey, I found him! Come quick!"
The short body of Frank skidded down beside me, and I heard running footsteps.
"Gerard!" Frank's voice was worried, and I felt his cold fingers dig into the skin on my neck. Then the face of my younger brother appeared over me, and the rain clouds were blocked from my view.
"It's raining", I mused, focussing my eyes for the first time, first on Mikey, then Frank. They both let out a sigh of relief, Frank sitting back on his heels and Mikey helping me up. I stumbled forward on my tired feet and the slightly taller form of my younger brother pulled me into a tight embrace, his head on my shoulder.
"Thank god you're okay, Gerard", he muttered. "It's been too long spent in hell to lose you now."
I patted him on the back and he pulled away, holding me at arms length. I winced, rubbing my sore arms from where Mikey had been clutching them.
"You okay?" Frank asked, and I nodded mutely.
"It burns. My skin burns", I mumbled, and the others stayed silent. We all knew how war affected us, and the frequently burning skin from gaseous air was just another side affect. The rain helped, of course, but it didn't come often.
The three of us hurried to a shelter as the rain began to pelt down harder, thunder cracking across the rapidly darkening sky.
"Come on men, move!" A commanding officer yelled as soldiers hurried to escape the sudden onslaught of bad weather.
Everybody moved as the sunlight died: It wasn't fun being in a wet, cold trench in the pitch dark.
We stumbled into our tent, and Mikey collapsed onto his bedroll, coughing and wheezing. My pain forgotten, I knelt beside him, rubbing his back as he choked and shuddered. Frank crouched on Mikey's other side, blocking him as much as possible from the prying eyes of other soldiers.
"Mikey", I whispered, leaning down above his head. "Just breathe, okay Mikes?"
He whimpered, rolling over as he desperately sucked on the air his asthmatic lungs were struggling to take in. His eyes watered, and I honestly couldn't tell if he was crying or not.
I pulled him into my lap, holding him in my arms like I used to when we were kids, and Mikey had awoken sobbing from a nightmare.
"Shh", I whispered, running my hand through his hair after Frank removed his helmet. "Take a deep breath and you'll be okay."
I didn't like lying, but sometimes you just had to.
"Gee", Mikey wheezed. "Gee I can't breathe."
"I know, Mikes. It'll pass."
I hoped the day that Mikey's asthma attacks didn't pass would never come.
Mikey coughed and choked, shaking in my arms. A tear rolled down his pale face and I gently removed his glasses, wiping it away. I didn't care that he was twenty, and I twenty-three, and that other soldiers were snickering and tossing us weird glances. Ever since we'd been deported, I'd barely taken my eyes off Mikey, and he'd hardly left my side. We'd always been fiercely close as children, then teenagers, and now as young adults, and neither of us really cared what anyone else thought.
"There you guys are", a voice said, and I glanced up to see Ray Toro striding across the room, the grin he never seemed to lose slapped on his grimy face. "What's up with Mikey?" He asked, crouching down, smile instantly gone.
"Asthma", Frank said simply.
"Ahh", Ray replied, clapping me on the shoulder. "We'll go get you two some grub. Come on, Frank", he said, and the two got up and exited the sleeping tent.
That left Mikey and I alone in the tent. He gasped, but it faltered halfway through and turned into a sob.
"Shh, Mikes", I whispered, brushing his hair back. "I'll keep you safe, inside. They can't hurt us tonight."
His breathing was less faltered now, and I gently laid him back on his bedroll, handing him his glasses as I pulled my own bedding over. I lay down next to Mikey, who was adjusting his glasses on his nose. I stared up at the ceiling fabric, thinking. Then I spoke.
"Mikey", I began. "You know how long we've been here?"
"A year?" He asked hesitantly.
"I think so", I frowned. It was hard to keep track of time when every day was a struggle to survive.
I turned to face my brother.
"Mikey... You remember what we talked about coming here? About how you can't take a single moment for granted? Because -"
"The next minute you could be gone", Mikey finished in a hoarse whisper. "I know, Gerard. That's why me and Frank came looking for you. And - that brings me to something else." He turned to face me, coughing dryly. He sighed. "Look, I shouldn't be telling you this, and the only reason I know is because Frank asked me to tell you if anything happened to him-"
"Frank?" I asked, confused. "What does Frank have to do with this?"
Mikey sighed. "Everything", he said. "Look, Gerard, Frank is kind of- sort of-"
"Sort of what?" I questioned, thoroughly confused now.
"-In love with you", Mikey finished breathlessly.
I stared at him, stunned.
"In - in what?" I whispered.
"Love..." Mikey breathed. "I - I just thought you ought to know."
"Yeah", I muttered, turning away. "Yeah, uh, thanks." Gerard's POV
It had been two days since Mikey's revelation about Frank, and I couldn't look at him the same way anymore. I kept looking up to find him staring at me, and then looking quickly away. I didn't understand it. Sure, Frank was gay, we all knew that, but I had never expected him to like - no - love me. Me. Nobody liked me. But I couldn't seem to deny it now, and I was definitely paying more attention to Frank. Did I like him? I don't know. To be honest, I hadn't really considered my sexuality before. And the middle of a war didn't really seem like the right place to do so.
"What are you thinking about, Gerard?" Mikey asked from beside me - we'd been sitting in silence on a lookout post for almost fifteen minutes now.
I sighed. "Nothing", I replied, but I couldn't even convince myself.
"Is it Frank?" Mikey asked tentatively.
I stayed silent, looking down.
"You haven't told him, have you?" Mikey asked anxiously. "You know, that I told you?"
I sighed and shook my head.
"Well maybe you should...." Mikey whispered quietly.
"What?" I asked, turning to face him. "But you said-"
"I know, Gerard", Mikey said seriously. "But face it - this is war. Soldiers are dropping like flies, and to be honest, I'm not even sure how we've all made it this long. Now I know none of us wants to believe it, but we could be dead tomorrow. How would you feel if you're on patrol - people all around are getting shot - and Frank is one of them? We all like to think we're going home, Gee, but the harsh truth is - we probably won't be."
I stared at Mikey in shock.
"And I've told Frank the same thing. And Gee - remember that time you and Ray got sent out on patrol for a few days over on the east side? (I nodded mutely) Frank barely slept a wink. He kept worrying that you would never come back - that he'd never get a chance to tell you how he felt. He actually woke up one night, crying - that was how I found out."
"But why didn't he tell me then?" I asked.
"He's afraid, Gee", Mikey breathed. "He knows you won't like him back - and he doesn't want to ruin your friendship now of all times."
I opened my mouth to speak, but then a commanding voice rang out from below.
"Privates Way and Way!" A commanding officer yelled. "Your shift is over. You may return to base. That is an order. Go straight there and do not stop. Do you understand?"
"Yes Sir!" Mikey and I called in unison, both of us saluting. The officer turned, and we began to climb down.Frank's POV
"RUN!!" A voice bellowed, and was soon followed by a loud bang. I cried out as I was flung through the air by the force of the explosion, landing with a bone shaking thud on the slippery earth. I gasped, trying to breathe as a searing pain ripped through me, causing me to writhe and scream on the ground. I felt hot liquid seeping through my uniform and I sobbed as one thought filled my mind. I was dying. And I never told Gerard how I felt towards him.
"Frank!"
I could hear them calling me - I must have blacked out because it was morning now - I could see the smouldering remains of my platoon's temporary shelter.
"Frank! Where are you! Frank!"
It was Gerard. And Mikey too, and Ray. I could hear them all, desperately calling out my name. But for some reason I couldn't call back.
Then I heard Mikey's voice.
"He's gone, Gee"
No.
"Frankie!" Gerard screamed, and I tried to speak but I couldn't move. Then I heard running footsteps, and Gerard was there beside me.
"Frankie", he whispered, caressing my face, his fingers coming back stained in blood.
"G-gee", I croaked, finally finding my voice. Gerard looked at me sadly.
"You're not gonna make it, Frank", he said.
He didn't even seem upset. But I had to tell him. He had to know.
"G-gee, pl-ease I - I have to - tell you someth-ing"
He smiled, holding me in his arms as I cried.
"I - l-love y-you Ge-e"
His smile vanished. His eyes turned cold, dark and murderous.
"No you don't", he said coldly. I cried harder.
"G-gee, wh-at? I d-do!" I whimpered.
He jumped to his feet, shoving me to the blood-stained floor.
"No you don't you freak!" He screamed, and I watched in horror as he changed. He seemed to grow - he was ten feet tall - hovering over me like an angry bee, cloaked in the darkness of rage and fear.
"I HATE YOU!" He roared. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?"
Then he was gone, and I couldn't move. The world began to spin as the faces of my friends swam before me, twisted in malice, laughing at my pain.
"NOOOO!!!" I shrieked, trying to push them away, but they advanced, their faces blank, armed with bayonets and hand-grenades. Gerard led them, and then he stood over me, with a burning torch.
"You were never one of us", he said, his voice distant, inhuman.
Then he raised the torch and swung it down, there was a flash of orange in the darkness, the twisted shrieks and cackles of my 'friends' a blurry vision of home and how things used to be - then fire - and laughter - and Gerard's voice - and I was falling -
"NOOOO!!!" I screamed, the military issue blanket I had falling around my waist as I sat up suddenly. I was shaking and sweating, tears pouring down my face as my stomach lurched.
I began to cry, shaking even harder as I tried to calm down.
It was a dream. Just a dream.
Then I heard a voice.
"Frankie?" A sleepy looking Gerard mumbled, sitting up beside me. I yelped, cowering away from him and his eyes widened in fear.
"Frankie, what's wrong?" He asked, all traces of sleep forgotten as he scurried into my bed next to me, pulling the blanket over himself without even asking. I smiled slightly despite myself.
It was a dream. Just a dream.
Gerard wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into him and I relaxed, telling myself it was okay. Real Gerard would never do that to me.
"I had a nightmare", I mumbled.
Gerard sighed, pulling me onto his lap and stroking my hair.
"It's okay, Frankie. It's not real. We all have nightmares here, it's what war does to you."
Bet they're not like this though.
Without warning my stomach lurched again, and I gagged, sobbing slightly.
"You okay Frankie?" Gerard asked worriedly.
"Yeah, I'm-" I began, but was cut off by vomit rising in my throat. I fought my way out of Gerard's arms, stumbling to the floor as I threw up. I felt Gerard climb down beside me, gently rubbing my back as I retched and cried.
"Shh Frankie, it's okay", he murmured. "I won't let anything bad happen to you."
I cried a bit, sagging forward as I felt Gerard's strong arms pick me up and lift me back into bed. He positioned me so that I lay with my head on his chest, and I couldn't help but smile as I snuggled into him.
As I was about to fall asleep, I felt Gerard gently press his lips to my head.
"Goodnight Frankie", he murmured, so quietly it was almost in audible. After a second's pause I answered him.
"Goodnight Gee."
Mikey's POV
Shots resonated through the air and I dived to the ground, my glasses stabbing painfully into my nose. Somewhere in the nearish distance something exploded, and a plume of fire and rubble shot into the air. I was thrown from where I lay, landing on the ground some ten metres from where I was originally, all the breath knocked from my lungs. I gasped, rolling over as I tried to move my shaking body into he trench where I'd been headed - it was only a few metres away. I crawled on my forearms, slowly dragging myself over the rough ground. It was twilight, and I wondered if Gerard was panicking yet over my failure to return. I gritted my teeth as I felt the barbed wire surrounding the trench shred my already damaged and bleeding skin. I knew I would have shrapnel wounds from the explosion, and that adrenaline and the will to survive was the only thing keeping me from feeling the immense pain that shrapnel caused. Shots were still being fired as I pulled myself over the edge of the trench, falling seven feet and landing on my back, winding myself yet again. I lay there, thanking every god in existence for the fact that I had survived. Sure enough, the pain began to set in now I knew I was safe, and choked sobs escaped my winded, asthmatic lungs as I felt the agony rip through my body. My vision blurred as I heard a distant cry of my name.
Gerard.
"Mikey!" He yelled, and I could hear him getting closer.
A moment of blackness and then Gerard was above me, shaking my shoulders, his face scrunched up in anguish.
"Mikey!" He yelled, shaking me again, and I gasped in as much air as I could (which still wasn't much).
"G-gee", I croaked, tears spilling down my face. "It h-hurts"
"Shh, Mikes", Gerard whispered, scooping me up in his arms and standing up. "I've got you."
I don't remember much else. Only flashes. I was in Gerard's arms, there was Frank, and Ray. I couldn't really hear, but I could see Frank crying. Then I saw the Red Cross of the first aid tent. I was lying down and Gerard was kneeling beside me, his hand squeezing mine. Then there was pain, nothing but blinding pain - I felt myself screaming but I couldn't seem to hear a thing. There was blood. Lots of blood. Gerard was crying, saying something through a face twisted in sadness. Then Frank was beside him, also crying, and he put his arms around Gerard, who leaned into him, the pair of them crying. I couldn't understand it. But then I saw a nurse, an apologetic look on her face, her lips moving silently as she raised a needle -
Blackness. Gerard's POV
I sat on my bed-stretcher-thing, staring at my hands, which were clasped tightly before me. I was exhausted from crying - the stress and fear of the previous night was taking its toll. The sun was rising outside the tent, and most soldiers were in the process of getting up. Today was 'rest day', which really only meant that no advances or initiatives were planned for the day, and no repair work needed doing either. Which was good, because I was shattered, shell-shocked and an all-round emotional wreck. The explosion yesterday hadn't damaged any of the trenches, but it had killed at least three of the soldiers near it. They had been part of a scout - nothing to be afraid of - they weren't advancing to enemy territory to fight. I had to admit that I hadn't been worried - we were sent on scouts all the time. Until, that is, I'd heard distant gunfire and a bang far too loud to be harmless - and half of Mikey's scout platoon had come limping back, unable to account for their entire group. Panic had set in - I vaguely remember Frank's head snapping up to look at me with wide, horrified eyes that I'm sure reflected mine. Then we were off, running through the trenches as night began to fall, screaming Mikey's name. Some part of me knew it would probably be no use - we'd have to actually go onto the battlefield to find my brother - or what remained of him. But I'd shaken that thought from my mind - we'd check the safety of the trenches first. And just as Frank had given up hope and I was getting desperate, I'd found him. Lying in the bottom of the trench, bloodied chest barely moving, dark liquid staining his uniform and the ground beneath him.
"G-gee", he'd whimpered, tears cutting through the grime on his face. "It h-hurts"
And the newly eased panic reappeared, almost tenfold. I'd pretended it was okay as I'd scooped his too-light body off the ground, tried to convince myself that he'd be fine as I ran towards the first aid tent. Tried my hardest to believe that it wasn't that bad as he slipped in and out of consciousness in my arms. Tried to pretend he'd be fine as nurses ran to us the second I entered the tent. I tried to be strong as I'd held his hand, not baring to look at what they were doing to him. But then he'd screamed, arching upwards off the bed, writhing and kicking, screaming blue murder. And I'd cracked. I knew that it wouldn't be okay, Mikey wouldn't be fine, and yes, it was bad. I'd cried as he looked at me briefly, eyes unfocused, sweat beading his cold skin. I'd cried as Frank came, pulling me into his arms as I'd buried my face in his chest, refusing to release Mikey's hand. I'd cried as the nurse told me that if he stayed here, he'd die. But I'd been hopeful when she said that they could fly him back to America, along with four other soldiers in about an hour. But then I'd cried again as she raised a needle and syringe, bending over Mikey.
"You're lucky, young man", shed said. "You get to go home."
And then she'd injected Mikey, and his eyes had rolled back in his head, and his body had gone limp and his hand had slipped from mine and it hit me.
I never said goodbye.
Now Mikey was gone, back home to be fixed and stitched up and recovered, and I was still here. I could die tomorrow. Mikey could die before they got him home. And I wouldn't know. Neither of us would know the others fate until long after. But I was some what comforted by the fact that Mikey was safe, in good hands and out of this hell.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear Frank coming until he was sitting down next to me on the bed-strecher-thing, his hand placed comfortingly on my shoulder.
"You okay?"
"Yeah", I lied.
Frank sighed. "He's safe now, Gerard", he said.
"I know", I replied.
We sat in silence for a while, until I broke it.
"I just wish I got to say goodbye..." I whispered, blinking back fresh tears. Frank patted my back.
"I know Gee. We all do. But the reality is, most of us won't. At least he's not gone forever, right?"
"Yeah..", I muttered, not really wanting to argue.
"Yeah, okay" Gerard's POV
A week later, nothing had changed. Each night I fell asleep with Mikey's pleading voice in my head, and I would wake in the young hours of the morning with his agonising screams tearing through my subconscious. I had become more of a shell than a person, simply existing through each hellish day. Not knowing if Mikey had made it back to America alive was killing me, almost as much as not being able to see him. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure that Mikey and I had ever been separated for more than a week, and I could tell this wasn't going to be fun. I had to constantly remind myself that it was the best possible thing to happen to Mikey- at least he got a fresh start.
It was almost nightfall. I was on patrol with a group of other men, including Frank. Ray was working a Red Cross shift.
"Gerard", Frank said suddenly from beside me. We had been sitting in silence for about ten minutes, with nothing really to talk about.
"Yeah?" I asked, glancing over at Frank.
"Do you ever think we'll get to see our families again?"
I was silent for awhile, thinking.
"I don't know, Frank", I answered truthfully, a little while later. "I hope so. When we got deported, I kept telling myself not to get my hopes up. But we've survived for this long. Mikey's gone home, whether he's still alive is another question entirely but..."
I trailed off, unsure of what to say.
Frank was silent.
"You know what Frank?" I asked suddenly.
"Yeah?" He said, turning to face me.
"Even if we die tonight, at least we'll be together. We are each others family, Frankie, and we have to remember that, no matter what. I know it's not the same, but it's better than having no one."
Frank smiled widely, but that soon faded.
"But that's just it Gee", he whispered. "I'm scared of losing you - and Ray. I'm scared of being the last one left - we've already lost Mikey - and I couldn't bear to be alone. To be honest Gee - I'm really scared of losing you."
I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness.
"But even if that does happen - you won't stop fighting, right? You'll never give up, right Frankie? Because I'll always be there, even if you can't see me. I'll never leave you, Frankie, you should know that."
I felt the unexpected tears in my eyes, and I could see them in Frank's too. But I had meant every word I said, without a doubt.
"Gee...." Frank whispered, and I suddenly felt an odd pang of something I'd never felt before - at least - not towards Frank.....
I found myself completely captivated by his eyes, his gorgeous, brown eyes....
I was leaning into him, and he was leaning into me.
I was shutting my eyes.
It was completely unexpected.
It was perfect.
I felt his breath on my lips, his lips grazing mine.
And then came the earth-shattering noise, the flash of bright fire, the immediate sense of terror.
And Frank was torn away from me.
Alright guys that was story three let me know how it was and ummmmm yeas bye guys