"Hanako-san, hanako-san, are you there?"
"Yeeees."
Hearing that voice makes me so excited, as always, I spin around cheerfully.
"Hanako-san!" I smile.
"Hey, Yash-" his expression turns from delighted to surprised.
"Oh, hey Y/N." he says in a much calmer voice.
He answered me so warmly, it made my heart skip a beat, yet, he only said it that way because he thought I was Yashiro. That reality has sunken in so many times, it makes me want to cry when I think about it.
Hearing the difference between our voices, how joyful I am when I greet him and how bored he is when he sees me, my chest feels like it's going to snap.
"How's life?" I smile, trying to hide the sadness eating me up inside.
"It's been kinda fun actually! Yashiro's super funny!" there he goes again.
Whenever it's about her, his eyes light up, I can almost see the spark. His voice is really playful and he always starts floating.
Does he like talking about her that much?
"Hanako-san. You like someone right?" I try to look as confident as possible even though I'm actually on the verge of tears.
"Eh? When did you start thinking that?" his face is convincing but he's slowly starting to turn red, it's faint but I notice and start to pry.
"You mentioned it before. You're careless."
"D-did I?" He wears surprised and nervous expression that instantly changes into an embarrassed smile, "Hehe~ I guess I can't hide it."
Even his laugh is the most adorable thing. Yet, it only exists because of someone else. I wish he would laugh like that for me, I wish he would smile like that when talking about me, I wish he would be happy when he saw me.
...That's a wish I know he'll never grant though.
"Who is it?" I finally break my straightforward persona.
He doesn't even notice. He doesn't even see how broken I am. He's too busy thinking of her.
"Wh-who? Er.. well.. a.. um.. a fish."
he's practically spewing nonsense but his shyness is still so cute to me.
Damn. Everything about him is so precious. He's perfect. I don't even pay attention to his answer, I'm too captivated by his charms.
"Hanako-san.." my hands start creeping onto his cheeks.
He seems uncomfortable, "Y/N?" he finally realizes the tears streaming down my face.
"You're.. wearing this.. very painful.. expression, Y/N..." he grabs onto the arm of the hand I placed on his cheek, trying to pull it off.
In a brief moment of panic, I lost all restraint. I didn't want to let go of his face, no, no, no, no, I want him closer!
Before I knew it, both my hands were on his cheeks and I was jumping forward for a kiss. I closed my eyes, ready to feel his lips against mine but instead I feel nothing.
I open my eyes in confusion and I find myself falling forward onto the floor.
Hanako moved away? B-
My train of thought was interrupted by a harsh, cruel voice. A voice of his I never wanted to hear.
"Y/N! GET AWAY FROM ME!"
It echoed in my ears, over and over.. as if I was some kind of monster who he never wanted to lay eyes on again.
That tone.. sounded both infuriated and disappointed. He hated me now, I was sure of it.
"Get.. Away." his voice was shaking,
"Unforgivable. Absolutely unforgivable." the disgust in his face was like being stabbed in the heart over and over.
This is the expression he will wear when he thinks of me?
This is the exact opposite of what I wanted..
My entire world felt like it just shattered, an immense pain circulated my whole body.
Was it anger, regret, sadness, jealousy..? It was a mixture of it all.
I get off of the floor and look at Hanako once more, he doesn't even look me in the eye for half a second before turning away angrily.
"Yashiro-san.. " I softly whisper.
"Why do you like her? Just tell me this one thing."
"Maybe.. it'll make me let go of you easier." I try to hold back more tears but they keep flowing.
"Why can't you just move on with out the answer?" he seems annoyed.
"Because even when you look at me like this you still look so perfect!"
This was the true confession.
The confession that no matter how much he looked down on me,
I'd just look up to him as always.
"Y/N-!"
"I don't know why, ok!? I know I'm such a pain! This is troublesome for you but.. PLEASE!" the tears fall more and more.
"Why I like Yashiro..?" he looks down, bashfully.
"Insanely brave, selfless, fun to tease, cute reactions, willing to help, adorable.." he listed so many reasons in just a few seconds.
"There's a lot of reasons, I just love her!" he smiles again with that genuine warmth that never fails to make me feel better.
Even if that smile is because of someone else, at least I get to see it one last time.
Take care of him, Yashiro. Whoever you are.
