Chapter 3
As soon as I reach our house, I immediately park my car in our parking space.
I step down and walk towards our entrance.
I am welcomed by the gloomy and dark atmosphere.
Mapakla akong natawa.
They said, home Is the most safest and comfortable place in the world but why does our home shows otherwise. Entrance palang alam mo na di ka welcome! Entrance palang feel mo na di ka secure, the feeling of being uncomfortable.
Natanawan ko ang aking ama at ang aking madrasta sa living room kasama ang aking step sister
Mag katabi silang Nakaupo sa isang mahabang sofa nasa gitna nila ang kanilang anak, sobrang close nila.
Ang sayang pamilya, they almost reach the title of being the perfect family if I wasn't just born. Maybe
The scene makes me feel more an outcast, sampid
May pait na bumara sa lalamunan ko
I can't understand why I always feel this, all my life I feel like a puzzle who lost its pieces all my life I Never felt I'm wanted, theres always missing and I don't how to find it.
I grow up incomplete. Lost and nothing. Sometimes I mean, most of the time before I go to sleep. I always keep on asking.
Why did they still let me live? If they are not going to give me love?
You can see me alive but deep inside I'm already dead, if committing suicide is aren't a sin maybe im one of those people who did it.
Kaso Alam kong mali and I feel embarrassed with those people who fight for their life, nakakahiya sa kanila. Malungkot lang ako ngayon but it's not enough reason to end my life. There are lots of reason to live so why choose to end life.
Kahit nakakapagod na minsan.
I snap out into reality when I heard them laugh, I glance at them one more time and I caught my father kiss the side of the head of my stepsister and pulled my step mom closer to him tsaka niyakap niya ang dalawa
What a scene.
Mag kahalong inggit at sakit ang nararamdaman ko, never pa akong niyakap at hinalikan ni papa kagaya ng ginawa niya sa mag ina niya
Never kong naramdaman na mahal niya ako, he always makes me feel I am just nothing and unimportant.
I always craving for his attention and a fatherly love, pero pinag kait niya yun sa akin
I understand how my stepsister and step mom cold treatment I understand there death glare and hatred towards me I understand them for treating me an outcast because I'm really is. We're not blood related, were a total stranger
But the only thing I can't understand is why does my Dad makes me feel me the same things, too? When in fact his blood is the blood that runs towards my veins. Why does he makes me feel nothing too?
Maybe because im the one who ruin his perfect family, maybe because without me they can be very happy.
Hayyss ang sakit talaga. They didn't even notice my presence here.
Napa iling nalang ako, oh yeah self what's new.
Mabigat ang loob kong Umakyat sa hagdanan, di na ako mag hahangad na mahalin at pansinin nila dahil wala din akong mapapala.
Mabilis kong ibinagsak ang katawan ko sa malambot na kama. I feel so exhausted, drain and empty.
Niyakap ko ang aking unan at hinayaang tumulo ang luha na kanina ko pa pinipigilan.
