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LuxeLopez: The clean and unfiltered version of The Rebirth is up now on my YouTube page.
10,000,000 likes ~ limited comments
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"You have got to be kidding me?" I look at my husband of one year in total surprise. Today is Michael and I's one year wedding anniversary. It has definitely been a journey to get to this stage and I would be lying if I said that I thought that we would get to this stage.
Everytime I look at my husband, I am reminded of what could have been. We could have possibly had a second child but I miscarried and now I have no womb. The chances of carrying another child cease to exist. I'm grateful for my miracle child, Maya and my adopted son, Adonis but it feels weird knowing that there will not be another.
One thing that I thought would break our marriage is Adonis' birth mother. She has proven to be an issue that I was not prepared for. Several months ago, Michael was able to gain full custody of Adonis but his mother has been fighting to get her son back. That will not happen.
Michael's other baby mother was neglecting Adonis and had put him in a dangerous situation which led to social services getting involved. A court battled started and lasted for exactly twelve weeks because Adonis' mother had threatened to end her life. Eventually Michael was awarded full custody and that women was sent to a psychiatric ward.
"Do you like it?" Michael asks while looking at me with a smile.
"Michael, you are so fucking crazy." I laugh as I look back down at the documents. "You bought me a hotel in Miami."
"Happy Anniversary." He kisses both of my cheeks then proceeds to kiss my neck which makes me moan. "I'm so glad that we get to be alone."
"So am I." I smile at him. "Thank you so much for the gift, I love it."
I press my lips against his.
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MichaelBJordan: Happy Anniversary 🌹 We have been married for exactly one year after being together for four years. We have two beautiful children together who I adore and a cute dog. I want to publicly thank you for being my biggest supporter, for being the mother of my children and for being my wife. Our journey has not been the easiest or the nicest but we are stronger together, you have taught me so much about myself. You have taught me how to be a man, how to be a better father and husband. I love you @LuxeLopez
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Michael set up a beautiful dinner on a rooftop of a trendy bar.
"I just want to thank you for giving me a chance." Michael says and I give him a small smile. "You mean everything to me."
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"I love you." I softly say.
"I love you too." We kiss for a second. "You're so beautiful."
"And you are the most handsome man." My smile falters as I think of my life. I really wish that I could have another baby, I wish I could get pregnant but I can't.
I need to do some research and see if it's possible to put a womb back in. I know it sounds crazy but I need this, I need to get pregnant.
"What you thinking about?" Michael asks as he caresses my face.
"I wish I was pregnant." I confess and his face falls.
"Luxe." He sighs, "We've talked about this. You know that it's impossible. I thought that we agreed to adopt in a couple of years."
My bottom lip trembles.
"I just can't help but think how cruel life has been to me." I say as I down the rest of my wine. "I've never asked for much, I've always worked hard and helped others but..."
Michael squeezes my hand, encouraging me to continue. Something that our therapist told us to do.
"It's not fair." I look him in the eyes. "Christian ruined my life but God is gracing him with another child. How could he blessed with children when he is the reason why I couldn't have any?"
"Luxe." Michael lifts my hands to his lips. "I didn't know that you still resented him. I thought you guys were friends."
"We could never be friends." I shake my head. "We haven't spoken in years but looking back now, I wish that I would have done something about it."
"Looking back will only hurt." Michael softly voices. "You can't keep looking back or you will never move forward."
"The trouble with that is that it affects my future. I can't even conceive." I close my eyes as I process the words. "Maya was a miracle baby and even though it was the most difficult pregnancy, I would do it all over again."
A tear slides down my face but I don't open my eyes as Michael wipes it away.
"My mom agreed to have a hysterectomy performed on me when I was in a coma." My hand balls up into a fist. "Regardless of whether I was awake or not, that was not her choice to make."
"Luxe." Michael clears his throat and I open my eyes to look at him. "You had an infection and you could have died."
"You should have let me." I snap before my mouth drops open. I cover my mouth with my left hand and Michael looks at in disappointment.
"Nice."
"I didn't mean that." He shakes his head at my words. I watch as he stands to his feet, chucking his napkin on the table.
"Words hurt, Luxe." He pats my shoulder. "Happy anniversary."
And with that he walks away from the table and I just sit there, unable to do anything.
