Forced to Commit, but Not Forced to Love

Ch 4- Testing Waters and Tears on the Phone

A/N: I was going to do this chapter from James's point of view, but I thought consistency with Lily's thoughts might be better. 

What do you guys think? Should I put up a chapter in James's point of view?

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You know that feeling when the world is going to crash down on you- and you see it coming- but it can't be changed? I mean, it's the deer-in-headlights response, where you can move from your position or your dilemma.

You just let it happen and watch in horror. 

Which is pretty much what happened with James and our joint family "meeting."

"You are going to get married to James, which will happen after graduation, and then after the reception..." I unintentionally zoned out at the m-word. Married? I'm not even done with college! My mouth was shut, but my mind was racing at a hundred miles per hour. They've set us up. No, cross that- setting us up. Is this what my life is going to come to? Living and raising children for this egoistic British jerk? Ok, cross the fact that he might be vaguely good-looking; that's not going to help. I would rather be married to a not-so-handsome guy if he treated me right. Oh gosh, what if he doesn't treat me right. What if-

I was snapped out of my thoughts by a hand nudging my knee, ever so slightly, passing by unnoticed by my dad. Averting my eyes to my left, I saw James motioning with his eyes to pay attention. So what did I do? I sadly cast my eyes to my family, defeated inside. To anyone else, it would seem that I was listening intently, but my mind was still racing. After years in this household, I mastered the art of masking my true emotions and keeping thoughts to myself.

"...and you both will live your happily married life with James in London." What? I won't live here? I can't see Grace again? Oh goodness. Trust my parents to end and mess up the holidays and pretty much the rest of my life in twenty minutes. I looked to my mom and pleded with my eyes to make my dad stop. 

She wouldn't even meet my glaze.

My sister? Same story. Damn, this is really going to happen.

When my dad finished talking (trust me, you can tell from the lack of noise), James's mom spoke up. "So honey, are you up for this?" 

I contemplated my options.

1) Say no and curse out everyone present and storm out. Problem? My life would end much quicker this way.

2) Turn down the offer politely. Problem? My dad doesn't say no. And he won't let me.

3) Run away and fall in love with a bad boy who would take care of me in his gang. Problem? I would probably fall sick the first day and would have to return home. Then, my parents would kill me.

No, I had to beat around the bush, see if there is a loop-hole that I can escape from. My silence must have caused the parents worry, because my soon-to-be mother in law- wait, no! James's mother! Not my future in-law!- said softly, "If you need more time, we can ask you later."

"No no," my dad quickly interrupted (of course). "She would be delighted to take up the offer."

When they asked me once more, to confirm my answer, I decided to test the waters. "Is there any way to say no?"

They all laughed, then commented on my humorous abilities. But I wasn't joking with my question. After my misinterpreted answer, they decided the next date for meeting up as parents do. 

Ugggg. Kill. Me. Now.

I can't do this. I looked down at my hands and fiddled with my purity ring in defeat. It was given to me by my favorite uncle, who stepped in and took over as my father figure, since my dad isn't doing a very good job. I smiled at the memory, but it fell as I realized that I would be seperated from him and the rest of my family after this summer. I wanted to cry. I really did.

You might be thinking, "What's wrong with this girl?? It's your own damn life, and you should live it how you want it. Grow a pair and tell them off!"

Easier said than done, my friend. People who know me can see my expressive side, but to strangers, I hide myself in a shell, masking my emotions behind a wall. Some might say I'm shy, others say I'm socially awkward. Both are semi-true. 

When everyone got up to go and help themselves with seconds from the party, I took the chance to run upstairs to my room. Well, my old room, now converted into a guest room when I was in college. I even saddens me that I won't move back into this room before I get married. Don't get me wrong, I want to move out of the house, but not like this. 

I bolted the door and collapsed on the ground, not even bothering to sit on the bed. I did the only thing that I could next- I called Grace.

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The tears should have warned me, my chest should have stopped me. I didn't know that I was crying until Grace picked up.

"Hello?"

"(sniff) Grace? (sob) Can we talk? (sniff)"

"Lily, what's wrong?" Worry laced her every word. I never cried in front of anyone, except Grace. Once. When I missed my flight to Cali, she was with me and I had a breakdown. It freaked her out, and now she knew that if I was crying, then something was up.

"I just (sniff) my parents (sob) forcing! I mean (sob) why?!"

Silence. "Lily, I'm coming over now. We'll talk in your room." 

"Grace wait!" I said the words a little late, only to hear the empty dial tone that signified the end of the call. Sometimes, it helps that your bestfriend came from the same town as you did. She lived only thirty minutes away, but she always speed drives when she's angry or worried. Most of the time, it's both. If she came over, and James's family was still around... shit would get personal. I love Grace because she's bold and would do whatever it takes to protect me. But that's the problem. She's bold and would do whatever it takes to protect me.

Oh goodness, someone save James.

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Luckily, our "guests" left after my call, giving a good twenty minute break before Grace came up to my room. My parents tried to stop her and give the "don't listen to Lily because she's just over reacting" talk, but like I said, Grace is pretty bold.

"I don't want your damn explanations. I'm going upstairs to see what my best friend is worried about. Cut the bull-shit and let me go see her," she said/yelled/threatened at my parents.

Mental points to Grace. Ordinary people wouldn't let her by, but she's done this before, and thank goodness my parents had some sense left in them to let her up.

After locking my door and activating top-secret protocall (aka turning on the heater and music in the room to block out the sounds from the opposing rooms), she turned to face me. I offered a weak smile, but her resolute mind didn't even notice. 

"What happened. Spill."

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A/N: Another update!! I logged back in after a couple of days, and I got 90 reads on my story!! Thanks you guys! I love you all and I hope that this update will satisfy your lovely minds until the next one. 

Can we aim for 110 reads for the story? I'll put up the next update when that happens! 

Loves and kisses beautifuls! <3 And Merry Christmas!

PS- Pictures of the cast are on the side (just added) on chapters 1, 2, and 3.