betrayal and my stupidity prt.1

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(Warning my grammer and punctuation is going to be bad this is a book of me ranting and id love to hear yalls opinions no matter what, I will also not be using anyone's actual names)

Ok so I'm gunna be honest I'm one of those people who get attached too fast and have trouble letting friends go

On fact there are two people I have trusted with my life for three years and in the beginning of October started talking shit and that's when I started noticing

This is something I feel terrible about and I feel like this drama is my fault but I tend to fall asleep at 4pm on Fridays when I got home from school before Corona started happening. So I had planned to go to my friends birthday party I'm gunna call her Sadie because I feel if I use her nickname she might find me. I also live three houses away from this girl so doesn't help much.

I had planned to go to her birthday party and I thought I had time but when I woke up it was 9pm and my dad wasn't gunna take me anywhere. I called Sadie and told her I couldn't come to her party and she sounded fine with it but at the time her and the other person in our friend group where in a fight but she was still invited. A couple weeks  after the party I noticed she was kinda being rude to me but I didn't think much of it. But new years evening is the first time she started to piss me off, I had called my friend and I didn't know she was with Sadie and Kira. So I called my friend and she said hey carie is calling me and these girls had the odassity to beg her not to answer because I would ruin the party or something.

The friend I called is one of my close friends I tell a bit of my problems to but that's a different story. So after we ended our 20 second call she texted me and said they had begged her not to answer but she wasn't an asshole and would ignore me because they asked. They all know I'm sensitive and I'd hope that Kira and Sadie know I tend to over think.

I have given those two girls 100 chances and my anxiety causes me to overthink and do almost anything to keep them my friends but I've been trying for the past couple of months to try and stop being friends with them.

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