victorious ≫ fivesauce

chapter eight | "Beyoncé here we come!"

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA

SEPTEMBER TWENTY-THIRD

(song for the chapter): doing it -charli xcx-

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"You guys are nasty," Ashton stated the next Monday during lunch as he watched Birdy pop a green grape into Luke's mouth. They had been doing this the past fifteen minutes because apparently Luke's broken nose was in so much pain that he couldn't feed himself.

Luke had a bandage that was laid across his nose. He looked extremely stupid, but came off more stupid explaining how it happened.

"You're so cute," Birdy giggled as she watched Luke chew on his grape playfully.

Luke swallowed, then chuckling. "You're cuter."

"No, you are!"

"No, Birdy. You are!"

"No! You-"

"-Shut the hell up!" Ashton pleaded, rolling his eyes and slamming his fork down into his bowl of noodles.

"You're just sad because you don't have a girlfriend," Birdy teased, popping one of Luke's grapes into her own mouth.

Luke smirked. "Yeah. Do you remember that one time we went to the sushi place and you thought Laney was cheating on you so Roxie smashed wasabi into-"

"-I recall it, Luke!" Ashton cried, shaking his head and twirling the thin noodles around his plastic fork. "Could you please just forget about it?"

Luke and Birdy shrugged Ashton off as they began feeding each other grapes until they heard a violent shout from the opposite direction.

"Calum Thomas Hood! Give me your fucking phone now!"

Then they saw Calum bottling towards the lunch table, hiding behind Ashton and Roxie stomping towards them.

"Hand it over!" Roxie commanded, sticking her hand out for his phone, Calum easily rejecting.

"No, it was your fault and I'm keeping them!" Calum screamed, hiding behind the other side of Ashton as he put down his fork and sighed out of annoyance.

"What are you two morons talking about?" Ashton puffed out, pushing his bowl of noodles away from him.

"Roxie sent me nudes!" Calum exclaimed.

Luke basically choke on his grape and began laughing hysterically. "What? Why?" he said.

"They were for Michael! Not Calum!" Roxie blushed violently, snatching at Calum once more.

"That's what she says," Calum smirked. "But we all know she wants some of Calumconda pictures back."

Roxie rolled her eyes. "Stop trying to make Calumconda a thing."

"I thought it was Cliffoconda," Birdy wondered obliviously chewing on a grape.

"It is!" Calum replied as he sat down next to Ashton. "But my Calumconda is bigger than Michael's Cliffoconda."

"You wish," Roxie rolled her eyes.

"So I'm guessing that you were hoping for a picture of the Cliffoconda in return?" Luke laughed, making Roxie shoot him a death stare.

"Go chew on a dick, gay boy," Roxie spat.

"Go chew on a Cliffoconda, nude-sender," Luke fired back, making Roxie send him a sarcastic smile.

"Seriously Calum," Roxie said sternly, turning back to the fearful boy hiding behind Ashton, who continued to eat his noodles obliviously. "Delete them now."