𝐚𝐤𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐚 | 𝟏𝟖+

ONE

akrasia.

(n.) lack of self-control

All rights reserved.

**
adriana - 17

It takes a strong heart to love and an even stronger one to love even after its been hurt, and maybe you may not have been the one for me but god, i hoped it was you.

I read somewhere too...

"Let go. Why cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?"

I didn't think i'd ever relate to something so, so inconsolable. Just honestly so heart-wrenching. That was until I witnessed the one thing that altered my whole perspective on reality, and the decisions I made in life. It was the people I kept around me. The one person I wanted around me. The one I craved attention for.

The one I wanted.

You never get what you want in life. Not easily, at least. If you want it, you have to work for it. And that's exactly what I did, I put effort in. I did just that. But it just never got reciprocated, and that's when it hurt the most.

I never doubted anything when we were together, he gave me everything I wanted. Being with him felt like I didn't have to worry about what would happen next, because i'd be with him.

What I didn't expect was the deceit that was right around the corner.

The temptation to cut my hair or dye my hair literally - and i mean literally - engulfed me.

Makeovers help heal heartbreaks. Well, at least that's what i heard. A new me. It literally meant new hair. Before my sad ass got heartbroken, I had always wanted to go jet black, like come out and be a whole different person. This mocha - or whatever you call it - hair that I happily inherited from my late mother was slowly dying out on a me so i needed something new.

And this actually called for the perfect excuse.

Since my eyes and heart were left scarred, i've stayed curled up in my bed in my room with an endless heap of tissues beside me. Crying was how my heart could speak, when my lips couldn't explain the pain I felt.

My dad knocked on my room door everyday, anxious to know what was going on, why i kept my room door closed for the past week. I didn't know what I was going to say to him.

If I had told him I had gotten my heart broken, heartlessly ripped in pieces, he'll hunt the unlucky guy down. He would tear him apart with his own bare hands, whilst he screamed in agony and pain. It'll break the alliance he had with his father. And our mafia families put together led us to be one of the strongest mafia's together. And I wasn't up to breaking it off just because of what happened. I wasn't ever taught to be that inconsiderate.

The event that took place, replays in my head just like it was yesterday;

I had just finished my part time job in the local bakery, not far off from my house: I know I never had to work, but I didn't want to be given things on a silver platter, I wanted to earn it. To know that I deserve it - and that was the mindset I strived to keep.