Tsukasa x Reader How We Play

Chapter 26

Some ppl were talking about how they hope this story has a happy ending so I want more opinions, on a scale of 1-10, how important is a happy ending (10 being important, 0 being unimportant).

IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE: there will be minor manga spoilers. They aren't really big spoilers, but I thought yall's should know.

Recap:

A sick feeling overcomes me when I see Tsukasa kissing the top of her unconscious head. That's the last thing I see before my vision goes dark.

(Recap Over)

(Y/N) POV

I woke up on Tsukasa's lap for the upteenth time. For a moment, I'd forgotten everything that had happened.

But they came back to me in a horrible tsunami wave. I clutch onto Tsukasa for support. The memories and pain start making me dizzy. A headache quickly fills my head. 

"You're awake!" he cheers. I look around. We're back in the broadcasting room with Mitsuba and Sakura-senpai. The wave of grief is still heavy in the pit of my stomach.

A few tears accidentally leak out of my eyes. "Don't cry (Y/N)! It's not like you..." Tsukasa coos. He's right, It isn't like me to cry like this, but I don't care.

I mean, I killed them. I killed my parents. Do I miss them? I'd forgotten about them for over five year already. They died when I was 9.

I can't believe I'd forgotten about them for over 5 years. I'm a horrible daughter. I'm horrible.

More tears fall from my eyes. Tsukasa gently wipes them, saying "There, there".

Because of me, (brother's name) has no parents. Because of me, auntie no longer has a brother. Because of me, they died.

I shove my face onto Tsukasa's shoulder and just cry. I cry in self pity at how useless I am.

"There there. It's okay." Tsukasa murmurs to my ear. I wrap my arms around him and continue to cry.

I hear Mitsuba cough awkwardly behind me. "I'm gonna give him a school tour." Sakura says smoothly before getting up and dragging the pink haired boy with her and out the door.

"Was it... what you saw in the mirror?" Tsukasa asks, unsure. I nod, my face still pressed against him.

He pats my hair while letting me cry. After a very long, long time, I finally force myself to stop crying. "I'm okay now..." I say letting go of him.

Am I 'okay'? No. I don't think I'll be 'okay' for a long time, but then again, when was the last time I've truly been 'okay'? All the times I smiled, all the times I was happy. Was I really? Wasn't I just pretending? What's a little more pretending then?

The sick feeling in my stomach gets worse realising that I haven't really been alright with anything. I've been acting because deep down inside I knew what I did. I knew I caused their death and I knew I was just a horrible person. 

I pull back from Tsukasa and I already know my eyes are red from crying and that I look like a mess. "Better now?" he asks caringly. 

"Yup."I respond, wiping my face. My headache is still strong but I ignore it. "I... I should wash my face." I say.

"Okie dokie! I'll come too!" he chirps. "Alrighty." I say, forcing a fake smile. No one wants to hang out with a wet blanket. I shouldn't make anyone worry. I don't deserve people to comfort me.

He takes my hand and helps me get up. On our way to the bathroom, he doesn't let go of my hand. It's nice.

A kind mokke who noticed my worn face offers me candy. "Thanks..." I say while accepting it. Grape flavour... 

Tsukasa makes sure that we don't go to Amane's bathroom. Instead, he leads me to the second floor bathroom. I splash my face with icy water. Tsukasa offers me a towel once I finished. I peer into the mirror. I look hollow...

The heavy rock in my heart doesn't let up at all. It's not like I expect it to. The last stage of grief is accepting it right? So why don't I just skip the other stages and head there?

I can do that can't I? Is it wrong of me to try to do that? I should repent... but how? 

"Let's head back" I advise. Tsukasa takes my hand once more and leads us back, and thank goodness for that. My navigation is already bad but in my current state, I don't think I'd ever make it back.

When we return, Sakura and Mitsuba are already back from their tour.

"(Y/N), are you alright now?" Sakura asks with worry on her face. Mitsuba looks at me too for my answer.

"Yup!" I reply, faking another smile.

The moment after I reply, Natsuhiko bangs the door open. "My Lady! I have finally returned!"

"That's good to hear..." she says to me, completely ignoring Natsuhiko. She doesn't sound too convinced.

"Thanks for your concern Sakura-senpai, and you too Mitsuba. I think... I'll go home for today."

Sakura-senpai shrugs and introduces Mitsuba to Natsuhiko.

I zone out of their conversation and start packing my bag. Tsukasa stops me by gently taking my hand.

"You don't... wanna stay longer?" he asks childishly, putting his finger on his cheek. Too cute. That was a sly move.

I really don't want to go home. Seeing my family will remind me of everything, but then again, it's not like it left my mind even for a second anyway... 

Despite my true wants, I say, "My aunt will worry since it's late in the first place."

I shrug Tsukasa off of me and finnish packing up. He doesn't stop me again but I can feel his gaze on me the whole time.

"Cya guys tomorrow!" I say, forcing another smile on my face. I run out of the room before I get any replies.

Once I get into the hall, I slow my pace. "Wait up (Y/N)!" I hear Natsuhiko behind me.

I stop, faking yet another smile. "What?"

"Here, I don't know how good they'll be, but I found these in one of the rooms I ventured." he says, handing me a bag of candy.

Mystery candy? "Thanks. If that's all, I'll take my leave then." I deadpan, turning around.

"Wait!" he stops me again. "You seem upset. Are you okay?" He really does seem concerned.

"Yup!" I force a cheerful ring into my tone. All this pretending is making me feel sick and cheeks hurt. I'm practically lying to the people who care about me the most...

"Cya." I say for the last time, walking away.

A/N): Angst isn't rly my thing soo.... sorryyyyy