The Rabbit Hole

Chapter 1

The bus trudged to a halt, jolting Kate from her absence from reality. She blinked, then pulled her backpack from beneath her seat, swinging the strap over her shoulder as she stood. As she stepped out onto the street, the dreary clouds turning the world a series of bland milky shades, the scent of rain hit her senses hard. The fog seemed to clear from her mind, and she breathed in deeply.
She hurried up the driveway and stepped into the house, trying to shut the door as quietly as she could. The sound of the refrigerator door closing only proved her attempts futile. Cassy was between Kate and the stairs leading upstairs.
"Kate," came Cassy's cheery lilt. "You're home."
"Hey." Kate planted the smile on her face and turned the corner into the living room. Across the house, from the kitchen, Cassy's eyes met hers, and her smile wavered.
She'd been living with her mother's friend for three years, but sometimes Cassy still seemed a little foreign. Kate couldn't be sure where her mother was those days, but it hardly mattered. She'd given up on the hope that her mother would stay around long enough for Kate to catch a break. She actually liked the way her mother hardly looked her way. It had bothered her most of her life, but ever since her life had taken its rebellious turn, privacy was something Kate couldn't cherish enough.
Cassy's face blurred, and Kate leaped over the back of the sofa before her legs could give out on her. Kate pulled out her cell phone, hoping for an excuse to fall back into the blur she'd been hiding in for three days, but Cassy wasn't having it. She walked to the sofa and sat down across from Kate. Kate sighed inwardly.
"You hungry?"
"No. Talia had some Doritos and I ate too many already," Kate fibbed, idly flipping through the apps on her phone, pretending to be busy.
"Kate, Doritos aren't enough," Cassy pressed.
Kate shrugged, refusing to look up from her phone. "I know. I'll wait til I get home tomorrow to eat, I promise."
"Good." Cassy settled in comfortably, dragging a throw blanket over herself, then looked at Kate undeterred.
Kate gave up, and looked up at the tall blonde. "How was your day?"
"Pretty good. The last couple of hours of my shift were a drag, though. I'm glad it's over."
"Glad you made it," chuckled Kate. She blinked as another wave of dizziness and fatigue washed over her. She cleared her throat and hopped up, trying to disguise the waver in her balance, and strode over to the kitchen. "Do we have any orange juice left?"
"Way too much," Cassy confessed over her shoulder.
"Awesome." Kate grabbed a small blue plastic cup from the cupboard and wrenched open the refrigerator door, grabbing the carton of orange juice. Setting both on the counter, her back turned to Cassy, she quickly dug into her bra. Her fingers closed around an array of small pills. Her head was too foggy to be able to count, so she simply took out the ones she'd grabbed and jammed them into her mouth. Hand trembling, she filled the plastic cup, then washed down the bitter pills. She capped the orange juice and returned it to its shelf in the fridge. She took the cup of orange juice in her trembling hand and brought it back to the couch, blocking the sight of her shaking arm with her body from Cassy as she strode by her. She set the cup on the small end table next to the sofa armrest and sat down again, curling her feet beneath her.
Cassy was frowning at her. Kate could feel the anxiety bubbling up, and she hugged her knees, widening her eyes, feigning innocence, and flashed Cassy her most convincing smile.
"Kate, have you lost weight again?"
Oh. That. Kate frowned a bit, shaking her head a little. "I don't know. Why?" She looked down at herself, pretending to feel self-conscious. In her head, though, she was dizzy with excitement. I look thinner? Oh thank god.
Cassy sighed. "I'm sorry. You've always been tiny. I don't know what's gotten into me lately."
Kate frowned. "What do you mean?"
Cassy sighed shakily, watching Kate with wariness. "Nothing. I just-" She paused, seeming to consider her words. "I keep thinking I see your bones sticking out from your shirt and - just, never mind. Don't mind me." Cassy rubbed her temples slowly. For a second, Kate felt bad as she watched Cassy's troubled face. But the thing inside her, the thing that always seemed to be there, steeled, and said, She's being so over dramatic. Why does she think it's all about her? God, calm down, Cassy. Get over it.
Kate pushed that out of her mind, and instead focused on the way her surroundings seemed to sway gently. She hadn't eaten anything all day, so the pills would hit sooner. Maybe ten minutes? A glimmer of hope lightened her mood. Maybe it'd hit sooner.
A notification lighting up her phone screen sidetracked her. She picked it up off of the sofa in front of her and saw a new text message.