The Rabbit Hole

Chapter 2

Chapter 2
    It was lunch period. The halls were, largely, vacant. Kate dug out a handful of change from her pocket and slid the quarters into the soda machine slot one by one. A bottle of diet Mountain Dew clunked dully to the bottom of the machine. Kate slid her hand in and grasped it. Uncapping it, she headed for the girls’ bathroom in the abandoned wing of the school, humming to herself. The bathroom was the unofficial hangout of the school, and anyone skipping classes or lunch congregated there, wasting the hours away chatting.
    She pushed open the heavy door and found a place to sit on the counter next to one of the rust-rimmed sinks. She looked into her soda bottle thoughtfully, watching the carbonation bubbling steadily to the surface, popping out of existence once they reached the top. Slowly, Kate pulled her cell phone from her back pocket and began scrolling absently.
    There was a new message from an unknown number.
    Kate, it’s Haisley. Riley gave me your #.
    Kate smiled.
    Hey Haisley.
    Kate scrolled through the feed of her finsta, watching photos of late night parties and pills. Riley had posted a picture from the weekend of him and his cousins. He had a razor blade in his hand, and on the glass of a handheld mirror, a few lines of freshly cut cocaine lay waiting.
    Another text notification popped into view.
    Where are you?
    Kate hesitated, then typed her reply.
    South wing girls’ bathroom.
    She spend slow minutes sipping the diet Mountain Dew, scrolling, scrolling. Talia had posted pictures of her and Kate. Kate examined her own body in the picture self-consciously. She could see the weight loss, but suddenly it didn’t look as though nearly enough was lost. Kate’s stomach sank, and she screenshotted the photos to add to her private body check photo album.
    How many more pounds until she could be satisfied? She ignored the voice in the back of her head that sternly reminded her that it would never be enough; that she may as well stop trying. She hated that voice. It sounded remarkably like Cassy’s. As much as she loved Cassy, she couldn’t handle the voice that kept up a steady stream of commentary every time she did anything bad. She didn’t need a conscience. What she needed was to strive to be stronger, better, thinner. The voice of Cassy only served as an obstacle, a constant reminder of the monstrosity of being figured out. Secrets only worked if they stayed away from the forefront. Kate found herself white-knuckling her diet Mountain Dew. She drew a deep, steadying breath and slowly let the tension go.
    It’s fine. Everything’s fine.
    The bathroom door was kicked open, and Kate quickly scrolled away from the pictures of her and Talia, as if they’d let loose her secrets. Haisley’s face appeared around the corner, and then she sauntered in, hopping up on the counter next to Kate and crossing her legs.
    “What are you doing in here?” asked Haisley, tracing her own reflection in the mirror absently. “Can’t say I can blame you; that cafeteria food is terrible. I had to escape.” Haisley laughed lightly, locking eyes with Kate.
    “I like it in here,” said Kate almost defensively. “This is the bathroom everyone comes to to escape. Anyone who doesn’t want to be part of it steers clear. It’s free reign.”
    “That’s nice.” Haisley looked the place over thoroughly. The yellow stalls, their paint chipped in places and graffiti covering vast amounts of their space, the toilets, also covered with graffiti, the black-and-white tiles, the rusted drains cut in the floor. “It definitely looks the part. But you have the place to yourself today.”
    “Yeah. It’s uncommon,” confessed Kate, smiling. “I don’t mind it.”
    The door flung open again, as if in an act of defiance after Haisley's remark, and a clean cut blonde girl in a delicate pink floral-dotted dress and ankle boots, with large blue eyes and wire-rimmed glasses, hurtled in, racing for one of the stalls. The stall door slammed shut, and the lock was dragged into place. As if Kate and Haisley weren’t there, the sound of the girl sticking her fingers down her throat and gagging drifted from the occupied stall.
    Haisley’s jaw dropped. “Is she…” she mouthed to Kate, jabbing a thumb in the air towards the stall where the girl was purging.
    Kate nodded. Haisley looked stricken with concern. A pang of guilt struck Kate’s chest, and she sheepishly glanced over at the stall door. The girl came to the bathroom on the regular. Nobody ever reported it to the faculty. The innocent girl wasn’t the only one, either. Purging was a regular occurrence in that bathroom tucked away from mainstream traffic. Secrets had a way of coming raw to the surface in this bright yellow bathroom. Nobody questioned anybody else, because everyone came for one single reason:
    They could get away with it here.
    Nobody ever snitched.
    Haisley cleared her throat awkwardly, taking her phone from her pocket as a distraction. The toilet paper roll rattled periodically for about two minutes, and then the toilet flushed. The girl emerged from the stall, body trembling, her face sickly white. Her eyes were reddened, and mascara streamed down her face.
    As the girl cleaned up, primping herself and fixing her mascara, Haisley could only glance at her sadly here and there. When the girl left, Haisley looked back at Kate.
    “That’s so sad,” she whimpered.
    “Yeah. It is.” Kate tried to avoid eye contact, fiddling with a hair tie around her thin wrist. She didn’t want to confess that the girl came every lunch period, or that she wasn’t alone.
    Kate became all too aware of her head beginning to spin. Shakily, she retrieved her baggie of goodies from the lining of her bra and reached in, her hand emerging with three more electric blue pills. She dropped them on her tongue, then washed them down with diet Mountain Dew.
    Haisley watched her with mild interest. “And those are?”
    “Xanax,” said Kate, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. "Have you heard of footballs?"
    “Are you dependent?”
    “No,” came the lie.
    “Kate, chill out. I’m not judging.” Haisley laughed, reaching out to pat Kate’s hand. “I took acid this morning." She leaned forward, as if about to divulge to Kate a juicy secret. "I’m tripping balls right now.”
    Haisley saying “balls” in her English accent had Kate giggling into her sleeve.
    Haisley shifted her position and propped her elbow on her knee, her chin cradling her palm as she watched Kate carefully. Kate could sense she was trying to decide whether to say something or not. Finally, Haisley had made her choice. “Kate, I need to ask you something.”
    “Ask,” said Kate.
    “Okay. So I have a few people lined up. They’re rich. They’re looking for a certain kind of person, and I think you’d be the perfect fit.”
    Kate suspected she knew where this was going.
    Haisley gave Kate a stern look. “And don’t say yes if you’re not fully sure,” she added, before continuing. “It’s a big reason why I moved here, instead of just staying behind in England. I was offered a lot of money from a man. But the one I think would want you is a woman.”
    “Are you asking me to be a sugar baby?” inquired Kate. Haisley didn’t say anything; she simply nodded slowly.
    “The answer is yes.”
    “Oh, good!” Haisley took one of Kate’s hands into hers. “Do you promise you really feel comfortable doing it?” Her voice was soft.
    “Haisley, yes, I’m sure.” Kate nodded encouragingly, offering a reassuring smile.
    “Even if it is a woman?” Haisley continued.
    Kate swallowed, then decided to just come out and say it. “I’d prefer it that way, actually.”
    “Ohhh.” Haisley grinned knowingly. “Oh, that’s just perfect, then! Awesome. I’ll tell them I’ve found a girl for her.”
    As Haisley busied herself on her phone, Kate sucked another sigh and took a huge gulp of the diet Mountain Dew. She waited for the steadying surge from the xanax she'd just taken.