November

4

"Daddy, where should we celebrate?" I asked excitedly.

Today, my twin and I were celebrating our 14th birthday.

"Hmm, I'm still thinking. Dean? Do you have any suggestions?" Tanong ni daddy kay Dean na nasa backseat at busy sa paglalaro nang kung ano sa phone niya.

"Anywhere, wag lang sa zoo."

I laugh a bit. Dean hates zoo so much. I guess because he hates seeing himself from those animals.

Kung nandito lang ngayon si mommy ay pareho naming aasarin si Dean. But sadly, wala siya ngayon dahil sa dami ng ginagawa at inaasikaso para sa coffee shop namin.

"What about we eat first and then go to some amusement park?" Daddy suggested.

"I'd love that dad, my tummy's growling."

The two laugh. I really wish mom's here right now.

"Do you kids mind if I turn on the radio?"

Dean and I just shake our heads.

Nang mapunta na sa radyo ang atensyon ni Daddy ay may napansin akong papatawid.

"Dad!"

The last thing that I saw was a very bright flash from another car and us, in pool of our blood.

"Rean!"

I sit up in a split-second when someone shouted my name.

Nakita ko si Henry na nakaupo sa gilid ko. Minamataan niya 'ko na may halong pag-aalala sa mga mata.

"What happened?" I asked.

He looked at me, dumbfounded.

"Sizt? Nahimatay ka lang naman kanina ano. Pagkatapos dinala ka namin dito sa clinic. Pagkatapos ayan, binangungot ka na naman." Mahabang lintanya niya.

Namin?

"Who's with you?" I asked though I already have an idea.

"Grey and a name that starts with letter D." Oh. "Siya ba ang dahilan kung ba't ka nahimatay?" Nag-aalalang tanong niya. Henry knew my story, my nightmare.

I shake my head. The last thing that I need right now is them, worrying. Lalong lalo na si mommy. If she'd know about this, wala na naman akong takas. She'll send me to some therapist again and blame me for wasting her damn money.

"Henrietta, please wag mong babanggitin 'to kay mommy. She'd freak out." I told him. He just nodded.

┅

We headed straight to the coffee shop after spending 3 hours in the clinic.

Ang ibang tauhan sa shop ay nakatingin sa'kin na may pag-aalala sa mukha. Some of them were asking and I just told them it's just fatigue. Pinaalalahanan ko rin sila na wag babanggitin ito kay mommy.

Henry suggested na I should just stay at home and rest. But I think it'll just trigger the memories that I've been burying for... God knows how long.

Siguro ay dito na lang ako magpapahinga sa shop para naman kahit papaano ay malibang ako sa pakikipagkwentuhan kay Henry.

"Do you think that they think I'm weird? Or kind of crazy?" I asked Henry while he's busy preparing some order.

"Honestly, kung hindi kita kilala or hindi ko alam ang past mo malamang nga ay iisipin kong weird ka o kaya sobrang oa." Of course. Who wouldn't.

"Pero alam mo ba, iba ang nakita ko sa mga mata ni Grey at ni D. I could tell na nag-alala sila pareho." There was a grin in Henry's face.

Woah. That was... odd. Especially him. If I were him, I'd totally be weirded out.

"At gurl! He's damn gorgeous! Kung nakita mo lang nako. Baka nagsitayuan na lahat ng balahibo mo sa katawan kabilang na ang bl bl." He laughed after he said that. Nakitawa rin ako.

"I don't care what he looks like though. Basta ayoko na siyang makita o marinig ang pangalan niya." Seryosong sabi ko kahit na alam kong hindi imposibleng makatagpo ko ulit siya.

"Rean, hindi lang naman ang lalaking iyon ang may pangalang ganon. It's not his fault, hindi yun kasalanan nang sino mang may pangalang ganon. Alam kong mahirap, but please try not to be affected. Paano na lang kung hindi sa gantong lugar na nangyari yon at wala ako? O kung sino mang pwedeng makatulong sayo? Kung ayaw mong mangialam sayo ang mommy mo at ipadala ka sa isang psychiatrist or some therapist, you help yourself. 'Kay?" He patted my head and headed straight to the kitchen.

I understand him. I should really get a hold of myself. But how? Ang tagal ko na rin pinag-iisipan kung paano ko tutulungan ang sarili ko. It's just... hard.

I remember when I attended my third session with Dr. Reynalds. He told me that I should erase every memory I had with my twin that night and think of something that can make myself busy. Erase that day. It's just seem... impossible. I mean, imposible talaga.

Imposible dahil nandiyan si mommy. I don't know but one of the main reason kung bakit hindi ko pa rin malimutan ang araw na 'yon ay si mommy.

She never looked at me that way again. The way a mother should look at her child. It's like I'm the reason why that thing happened. And the way she acted for it makes me want to believe that I really did something that lead to that accident.

I couldn't understand her. Hindi lang naman ako ang nasa kotseng yon nang magkaaksidente, nandoon si daddy. It's not like I wanted her to blame him but... why me?

"Rean.." Someone let me out of my thoughts. It's Grey, again.

"Grey? Uhm.. what are you doing here?" Okay, that's stupid. Malamang kaya nasa shop dahil bibili. It's not like kakamustahin ka niya or---

"I just really returned because... I wanna know if you're fine." He scratched the back of his head. Which I find cute.

I chuckled.

"Yep, I'm super fine. Don't worry." I smiled. Oh, I should probably thank him. "And uhm, thank you kanina. Thank you sa inyo." I said with sincerity.

"No problem. I'm sorry about Giah and Trevor. I just think they're some sort of reason why you passed out." There is a hint of embarrassment when he mentioned their name.

But that's not what caught my attention.

The guy... D. His other name is Trevor.

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