Tiger Lily

chapter 8- Long Discussions

1646? Neverland, Day: ???

I don't know what is happening anymore. Pan confuses me so. I don't know how long I've been here, or how long I've been around these boys. I feel like I'm in a dream, one that I can't wake up from. Felix beleives that Pan loves me, or something like that. I never want to hear that ever again.

 Pan is handsome as usual. Sometimes I can't help but to stare. He makes me sit on his left hand side now, opposite of Felix. Sometimes he treated me like one of the guys, sometimes like a girl. I was so confused, he gave me mixed messages and weird signals. It sends chills up my spine when I think about it. I generally tried to avoid him now.

He brought a little boy to the island recently. The boy was terrified of Pan, but was attached to me. He was only 8 and was abused at home. He said that his parents called him "Monster". I asked him what year it was in the real world, he said it was 1824. My tribe still hadn't found me. Had they even looked? Yes. They had to. I was important. Wasn't I?

Monster became somewhat of a shadow of mine. He would call me the "Exotic Lily". It made me feel good about myself, like he appreciated me. Pan hated it. He would yell and tell Monster that he was being stupid for relying on a girl.

"Don't listen to him, Monster." I whispered in his ear after Pan stormed away. The boy cried louder in his hammock. I brushed a golden lock from his eyes. His hair had turned to a grimy unwashed color. He looked up at me, tears staining his face.

"Lily. He's the real monster. He's planning on locking me up soon. And you too." My eyes widened. Pan kept those woven cages for the boys who misbehaved. I hadn't done anything wrong. I took Monster's hand and saw terrily bound cuts on his knuckles and fingers.

"What happened to your hands?" I asked.

"P-Pan said I needed to learn a lesson. He said I didn't know how to cut off the skin of a deer. He taught me..." Monster said crying again. I pulled him in close and hugged him. He cried into my bare stomach. I bit my lip, wanting to hurt Pan for hurting this innocent little boy.

"Little one. Stop crying, dear." I said patting his head. Then I heard Pan's deft footsteps approaching. I quickly tucked Monster into the bushes and shushed him.

"Tiger Lily. I need to talk to you," Pan said in his calmest voice. I looked at him with one eyebrow raised. The sky suddenly got very dark as he wanted our conversation to be private.

"Yes, Pan?" I said coolly. A slight wind swirled my dark hair, and the moon illuminated the raven feathers braided into it. He smirked and offered me his hand. I took it.

"Let's go to the lagoon. I need to talk to you." We began walking slowly downhill towards the lagoon. Nervousness crept up into my stomach, I remembered that the cages hung close to there.

In the moonlight, the blue water glittered black. The rocks looked menacing and common noises became monsters I was afraid of. Mermaids lerked in these waters. Pan had told me that they would rip me to shreds the second my toe hit the water. "So. Tiger Lily, the boy has taken a liking to you. Do you know why?"

"No.I haven't the slightest." I said careful to avoid the edge of the lake. Pan laughed slightly.

"Always the snotty one aren't you? He attached to you because you're too damn nice." He hisses on my ear from behind me. I bite my lip and take an involuntary step back into him. "Stop being so nice, Tiger Lily. For you are the real beasty here."

"That's not true." My whisper escaped my lips. He grabbed my long braid and shoved me forward so that my face hovered above the water.

"I will let the mermaids pick you apart. They are very hungry you know." He said threatingly. I screamed as loud as I could, watching their demonic tails glow beneath the surface. "Embrace who you are. Be a fire, not a spark."

"Fine fine! I am the beast. I'm a monster. I will act as such." Tears dropped down my face, rippling the placid water. I cried because I knew it was true, I knew what I had done. I killed people, because I wanted to. Because I wanted them out of my way. He pulled me up and forced me to look him in the eyes.

"Glad you finally see who you really are, Tiger Lily." He said smirking coldly. I wiped my face and glared at him confidently. "Come on. It's almost time to the fun to begin."

He lead me to the center of camp, where piles of rope laid spread around the fire. "What is going on?" I asked quietly.

"We are playing a little game that I like to call 'Keep your wits about you' ." All the lost boys whooped as he said that. I met Felix's eyes. They were grim, as if he were saying there was no hope. "Boys. Lets play."

The boys circled around me, each holding ropes. My heart started hammering as they closed in.

2008 New York, Manhattan

"Felix. My brother," I said. My heart rate kicked up a notch. "What are you doing here? Pan will be looking for you."

Felix gave me his trademarked smile "He actually sent me here. He told me to tell you that one of your old friends is out of Neverland just like you. He doesn't want you fraternizing with him."

I narrowed my eyes. "He doesn't control me anymore. I got away, I used my magic to do so." I said "And I suggest you do the same. Goodbye Felix." I closed the door and leaned against it, more fear striking my heart. Pam cant have more control over me anymore. The bracelet was enough wasn't it? But nothing was ever enough for Pan. Nothing was ever enough.

The alarm clock on my nightstand started going off, reminding me that work started today. I sighed and pulled on a Caribbean blue dress with colourful bead bracelets on my arms. I went onto my closet and turned on the light. I picked up a pair of heeled black converse when my eyes fell on a dusty box. I put my shoes down and bent over to pull it out. Inside was everything I had tried to forget. My dusty feathers sat on the top. Below those were the boots I had worn for hundreds of years. My clothes, still bloodstained. I pulled all those thing out and saw the dagger set. The one Pan had given me all those years ago. Engraved on the hilts were two little stars, reminding me of the way to the hellhole I once called home. I felt tears prick my eyes and I started to cry, feeling all the pain I had gone through to get here. All of the heartbreak and torture I had to endure. And I missed it... I missed the freedom I had lost. I used to be a princess, but now I amounted to nothing.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hey readers! Sorry the update hasn't come in so long. I have been doing so many things. But I promise I will update from now on every two weeks. Maybe even twice in one week, depending on my time. I appreciate every single read, it makes my day every single time. Thanks to the people who do love this story. Thanks to the people who vote for the story. Thanks to the people that comment on this story. Thanks to you all I love you!!

♥♥ Nicolette Cross♥♥