[Polaris] Nozel Silva x Reader

[4] I Want Out

🚨Mentions of self-harm! Please read with caution.🚨

Reader POV

Shino happily snacked on the leftover cookies in the freezers of the base.

"Ne, Shino?"

He stopped what he was doing. "Hm?"

I looked down, taking off my hat. "I think I might change squads."

"Huh?!"

"Yeah...I'm clearly not welcome here, and I really don't want to hold you back."

"But...why?"

"Because. Shino, you're a great guy, you really are. It's just I hate being subject to everyone's hatred here. It's almost as if they don't care."

He grabbed my hands, worry in his amber eyes. "But I care! Damn it, you're my first friend! I don't want to lose you!"

"You won't," I said. "But I can't stay here anymore."

"Okay...but what squad would you join?"

I shrugged. "Anyone who isn't this squad."

"You really hate it here, huh?" He sat up and had a worried look in his face. "I heard about what happened in the library. Do you want me to talk to the captain?"

"I'd rather not. I'll just pay back the debt and leave." I said. "But I'll take missions with you, considering I'm just paying back anyway. Maybe I'll get a second job."

"Alright..." 

I left the courtyard and ignored all the rude mocking, blood dripping down my wrists as I gripped it tighly.

"Whoa, is the blood mage bleeding?" Someone snickerd. "You should just die. One less scum in the world."

"You're disgusting."

"Attention seeker."

I stopped in my tracks and looked at them, smiling weakly. "I know. Maybe you're right: one less commoner around, eh?"

I turned back around and walked to the upper floors where the captain was doing paperwork.

I knocked on the door. 

"Come in." He didn't look up.

I closed the door behind me. "Captain, I want to leave. But only after I pay off the debt-"

"You want to leave my squad?" He looked up at me, alarmed. "But why?"

"Pfft. Why, he asks. Why do I have to give you reasoning. I'm the most hated member in this squad."

"Yes, but-"

"But nothing. You said it yourself: I'm a filthy commoner. But I do have a question for you, Captain."