Kidnapped in Dunvegan

12

Everything was dark in the house and only the nightlights were lit up on the top floor, as Adam quickly dragged me up the stairs laughing quietly. When we had reached the top, he stood still, put his arms around my waist and beamed at me with a promise in his eyes that sent a shiver through my body. Then, he had a serious expression on his face.

"You're having doubts," he whispered and I nodded, because lying wouldn't have achieved anything. He could tell from the fear written all over my face. He stroked my cheek with his warm fingers, laid his hand softly on my neck and his thumb over my chin. "Then we'll put it off."

I looked up at him questioningly because I was worried that he might be angry. But he wasn't, he shook his head and gave me a soft kiss. "Go to sleep," he demanded laughing. "I can wait."

I gave him one last quick kiss and then I fled immediately from Adam back to my room. With a pounding heart and great anger at myself, I fell into bed. I hit my duvet with both fists out of frustration. Why was everything just so complicated? I wanted Adam, didn't I? But I didn't trust him.

I was fighting against myself because I wanted to get up, go from this room to the room next door and just crawl up to Adam under the duvet. And when I had decided to do it and had plucked up the courage, I felt this tingling sensation run through me that reminded me how much it had hurt when Aidan had simply ignored me and Adam would do the same. He would sleep with me and as soon as he had done it he would lose interest. The only thing that now irritated him about me was the fact that he had to fight for me. The fact that I wasn't making it as easy for him as Kathrin, Mel or the bloody Italian girl did.

I was tossing and turning for several minutes, sobbing and cursing the few tears that came from my eyes unannounced. Then I decided to get a little bit of fresh air. I had to think about something else, otherwise I still wouldn't be asleep in five hours. Somehow, I had to cool down this agonizing arousal that still flowed through me like hot lava.

I stood up, pulled the plaid that Adam had bought for me securely around my shoulders, took a deep breath and left my room. I went out through the terrace door. My feet took me to the small pond and the illuminated fountain all by themselves. While I watched the water feature, I contemplated why I didn't just turn around and crawl into Adam's bed.

What would be so wrong about that? It wouldn't be a one-night stand. After all, we had known each other for almost two weeks, even if we had only talked a little over the last few days. However, I had known Aidan for longer, albeit only as my teacher, and I trusted Aidan as my teacher. I never believed that he really wanted to sleep with me and when he then started to kiss me, I was overpowered, out of my depth and nervous. And it felt so wonderful to be touched by someone, to be stroked softly and held in their arms that I loved every second of it.

I hadn't been touched in a loving way since my parents died and I was scared of saying no, because I was worried that he would no longer want me and that these unbelievable feelings and the attention he gave me would be gone forever. Maybe I was too young to deal with the situation?

Now I wasn't too young anymore. I could say no. And if I did sleep with Adam, it would be all my decision. I would no longer be out of my depth with this decision. And what was actually stopping me from giving in to Adam? It was just my prejudice. I considered him to be a macho. A man who regularly jumped into bed with new women. But was that really the case? Since I had been here, there had only been three women; the two women I had watched him with and the Italian girl. There had been no more parties either. Maybe I was looking at him in the wrong light? My opinion of him was predetermined from the first few seconds I met him. And in terms of what he had said about his father, about how he thought the professor had seen him, he had done everything to make me look at him in the way I had wanted to look at him right from the start. Maybe I was wrong? No, I wasn't wrong.

Adam, you have set every cell in my body on fire and absorbed my thoughts. I just can't get you out of my head. Perhaps I should just sleep with him one time, then my desire for him would be satisfied. Everything between us was an unquenched, absorbing sexual passion These feelings that he triggered in me couldn't be anything else. I lusted after him. Every fiber of my being desired him and if I slept with him one time, I would be free from this desire and everything would be alright.

I shook my head and rubbed my upper arm. I should forget about the past once and for all and no longer let it dictate my life. Aidan was part of my life years ago. I was a different woman. I was more grown up, more mature and self-assertive. It was time to start a new chapter. Even if Adam didn't want anything but sex from me, I should learn to deal with it. It was worth it just to feel how powerless this man would make me feel.

On the way back to my room, I decided to walk around the house in the hope that a little bit of exercise would finally take my thoughts in a different direction. There was a narrow gravel path which led directly around the building and that was lit up by small lanterns. A quiet whimpering sound stopped me in my tracks. I looked around, but I couldn't make anything out. I listened intently into the night, but besides the singing of cicadas, I wasn't able to pick up on anything. Only the wind was rustling silently in the trees. When I continued walking, the gravel crunched under my shoes. It only took two steps for a black shadow to emerge from the house wall and a cat shot past me.

I put my hand on my heart trembling and laughed nervously. "A cat." This little beast had really scared me. I ran back into the house as quickly as I could and got ready for bed. I fell asleep thinking that I just wanted to see where this thing with Adam would take me. Why should I spoil my fun any longer? Right from the start, I would approach the relationship with Adam knowing that I would be leaving in two weeks.

Even if I did fall in love with Adam during this time, the twelve-hour drive would make a serious relationship between us impossible. And there was something else that made this relationship different to what I had had with Aidan; I knew exactly what I was letting myself in for from the beginning. If it didn't work out and I withdrew into myself again with a broken heart, there would be only one person to blame and that was myself.

I had a restless sleep during the night because I wasn't able to let go of the worry, fear and desire in my dreams either. I woke up briefly with the feeling that somebody was in my room. I don't know whether I just dreamt about the creaking of the wooden floor boards, but when I scanned the dark with my eyes, I couldn't detect anything. I could only hear steps getting closer and then moving away again. Maybe I had heard somebody going to the toilet. Before I could even reflect on why Alfred or his wife weren't using the downstairs bathroom