A Black Heart Does Not Always Stay Black

Try To Be Brave

Marco sat on the highest yardarm, having flown up to it after telling the boys that breakfast was ready. He was in a bad mood. Well, not bad, but not good. Ever since the boys had come aboard, and Marco had learned more and more about Luffy's past specifically, he'd been thinking more about his past, which he didn't like to do.

It hadn't bothered him much, as he could just push the thoughts away easily, experienced in doing so. It was after Luffy was stabbed that things got worse. No one noticed but Pops that he started spending more and more time with others, rarely taking any alone time to go read, like he used to. He told Luffy the truth that his family helped with coping, and still did. After seeing what had happened to Luffy, regardless of the betrayal, the thoughts were harder and harder to push away.

He was remembering when he was in that place, before he was saved and adopted. About the torture and abuse. Luffy's situation was different in many ways, but also similar in some. He was moping against the mast, looking at his knees, which were bent up halfway to his chest.

"Marco? Are you alright?" Pops asked. Marco nodded, but of course the captain didn't belive him, and raised an eyebrow, as if saying "You really think I'll believe that crap?" Marco sighed and jumped down, landing on his feet easily, standing in front of the captain. He also realized he hadn't told him of Luffy's actions in his sleep. It had escaped his thoughts when he went to be by himself for the first time in days.

"What is it?" Whitebeard asked after they went to his seat, and Marco sat on his shoulder. "What is bothering you?"

Marco sighed. "Just thinking about the past. Not exactly happy thoughts," he said truthfully. He didn't lie to Pops, even when he sometimes wanted to, mostly about his own feelings. He had to be strong for everyone. Very few knew of his past. Only Pops, Thatch and Jozu, who he'd known the longest. They had seen how he was back then, and knew something was wrong. When they'd asked, Marco had willingly told them. Pops had said he should share his burden with others besides him.

"Because of Luffy's situation?" Pops questioned in a soft voice, knowing to treat Marco softly when he was thinking of before. Marco nodded. "And it got worse after the stabbing, didn't it?" the phoenix nodded again. "Is this why you didn't get off at the last island? And volunteered to watch the boys?"

"I want to do everything I can to help Luffy not have the trauma I do," Marco replied. He had skipped the island they stopped at to stay with the boys and Whiskey, there both for himself and to make sure nothing happened with Luffy while injured, if his powers went out of control or turned hostile on their own in his fear those days after waking up from the stabbing. The crew didn't need him to go with them, and Pops allowed him to stay. Of course, the boys didn't go either, and nothing happened while they were docked at the dinky little village.

"Are you keeping up with the journal?"

"Not really, no. I keep forgetting. I'm just so busy with the boys. I feel responsible for them, y'know? I brought them here. That's why I've been telling them so much. To make them all feel better and to make sure they know they have my trust and I have theirs. They haven't shared anything as far as I know, and I don't expect them to."

Whitebeard was shocked that Marco had been giving pieces of his past to children that had only just come. It took years for him to open up to anyone else. But, maybe that's why he was doing it. Marco had no one to help him while knowing how he felt. Pops had been empathetic, but he didn't know how it felt.

"I don't want Luffy to close himself off to anyone but his brothers, how I did with you. I just want him to not go through what I did. If I can do anything about it, well, then I'm trying to," Marco explained. Whitebeard gave him a warm smile.