Dating a Fangirl

1: Why you shouldn't pick up people at bookstores

Dedicated to BelWatson for being my favourite author on Wattpad. She always dedicates her chapters to her favourite comment so I think it's only fair to dedicate a chapter to her.

Chapter 1

Why you shouldn’t pick up people at bookstores

LEVI

“'You think you're going to meet your future wife in a bookstore with an unrehearsed cold approach, Cat's Cradle, and a triple espresso? Really? Has that ever worked for you before? 

Yeah, that's what I thought. Do you really believe that you're so smooth you can operate in daylight?  Sober?  And she's sober? You know there are security cameras around, right?  You think you're going to lay your combinatory rap on her?

I can alnost hear you saying, "but some people can meet girls at bookstores". Well guess what? NOT YOU."

Before I start I’d like to tell you something about my friend Seth. He’s a great guy, really. He’s always helping old ladies cross the road and holding the door open for everyone. If there aren’t any empty seats left on the bus he’ll give up his seat and let someone else sit. That being said he’s also the one to get me into a lot of unnecessary trouble. Like today for example, all I wanted was to go out for a few drinks, maybe meet some girl, but no, Seth wasn’t having any of that. “We have to work tomorrow but if you’re really thirsty we could go to Starbucks.”

He knew perfectly well what I was thirsty for, that asshole.

So there we were, at the Starbucks adjoining Barnes and Nobles, drinking fucking coffee while Seth read out a column about ‘Why you shouldn’t pick up girls at bookstores’. Seth is probably the only person who actually cared about where it was socially acceptable to pick up girls. Like for fuck’s sake, if he had listened to me and gone to the bar we would actually be picking up girls because as far as I know, there aren’t any articles about ‘Why one shouldn’t pick up girls at a bar’.

Sullen and defeated I rested my head on the table and buried my face in my arms. At once I felt someone shaking my shoulder.

Groaning, I raised my head to find my friend Andre looking at me with his big blue eyes, I swear that little Irish boy can look so innocent when he wants to but every time he opens his mouth to say something I feel the urge to wash it with soap. “C’mon mate, aren’t we interesting enough for you? You don’t need to fuck to be happy.”

See what I’m talking about? At least after three years of living in the States he’s stopped saying ‘shag’. Now that was annoying.

“I am listening,” I said, “But I can’t help think how stupid this is. We’re sitting in Starbucks of all places discussing how it’s immoral to pick up girls in libraries –”

“Actually, the article doesn’t say it’s immoral all it says is that there isn’t a high chance of success.” Seth interrupted with a smirk on his face.

You have no idea how much I wanted to punch him in that moment. I mean I’m not usually an aggressive guy but the fact that I was here instead of at a club where I could’ve actually been having a good time, well it was really getting on my nerves.

“That article is probably written by some thirty year old guy who couldn’t get laid if his life depended on it.” I said though gritted teeth.

Seth threw both his hands up in a surrender gesture while Andre roared with laughter.

“Chill the fuck down, man,” Seth said grinning, “Anyway, if you’re so confident, why don’t you try your luck?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said while Andre piped up, “That’s a pretty good idea! It might even help kill the boredom.”