ROAD TRIP TO DEATH

RTTD 03

Part 03.

Isang mahinahong tawag sa barkada ang kumawala sa bibig ni Angela. Nang nakuha niya na ang buong atensyon ng lahat ay saka muli niyang dinugsungan ang sinabi.

“Guys since ayaw niyo ng laro at may oras pa bago ang lunch, usap tayo,” Angela mumbled as she clapped her hands twice.

“Aren't we talking?” Lloyd said sarcastically and laughed.

“I mean, sharing problems, alam kong may mga problema kayo, kaya nga kayo pumayag sa Road Trip na 'to diba? Open forum. What do you think, guys?” she suggested, but it seems like her friends are not interested, because they avoid Angela's sight and intentionally looked at different directions.

Nagbago ang ekspresyon ni Angela sa inakto ng mga kaibigan. Nawala ang ngiti sa kaniyang labi.

“A-ayaw niyo ba? Fine. Pero puwede ba akong mag-share? H-hindi ko na kasi kayang itago 'to nang sa sarili ko lang.” She then bowed down her head. “Actually guys, I-I am depressed,” she confessed. Ramdam niya ang pagbigat ng kaniyang pakiramdam at sa tingin niya anumang sandali ay papatak na ang namumuo niyang luha.

“Hindi halata diba? Ang galing ko kasing mag-pretend.” She chuckles.

“I tried hard to get rid of this depression. I talk, I smile, I laugh, I crack silly jokes...” She paused. “But when time flies, I realized, yes, I can smile all day, but none of those are real. I talked a lot of people, but the truth is, I just talk because I don't want to feel alone, because every time I felt that way, I'm thinking about death or suicide.” Sa pagkakataong iyon ay hindi niya na napigilan ang paghikbi.

Depressed people are really hard to spot on. You just can't tell whether that person is depressed by just merely looking at their faces. They are too unpredictable and sometimes they wore their mask to obscure their melancholic state. Sometimes, they are the one who you would never expected.

“I don't know why I get into this, I just suddenly felt so empty.” She covered her face using her both hands, fighting back her tears from falling. Sandali siyang napatingin sa direksyon ni Alex na nakatitig pala sa kaniya. At ngayon, naramdaman niya ang kagustuhang maglaho dahil sa hiya.

Vanna, who's beside her massaged her back up and down, para kahit papaano'y umayos ang pakiramdam nito. Habang ang iba naman ay nagtuon lang ng tingin kay Angela, biting their bottom lips at pinakikiramdaman ang kaibigan.

“Need advice?” Hirayah asks with eyes watering. She's worried about her friend since she's feeling the same way, but not that hard as Angela's situation.

“No, I don't need advices. I just need a hug... a tightest hug.”

Lumapit sa kaniya ang mga babaeng kaibigan at niyakap ito. She suddenly felt the presence of the world and the importance of her existence.

This what people don't get.

When you're at your worst, people think that they need to give you advices when the truth is you only need a hug.

They don't get the logic that when you share them your problems, that means, you only need an ear who can listen and understand and not to give advices, because you to yourself, you already know what the best and right thing to do— what they adviced is what you already aware of.

They don't get that you need no advices, just a hug.

“Guys, my boyfriend is breaking up with me. Alam kong mali kami dahil may girlfriend siya, p-pero mahal ko eh.” Natigil ang lahat at natuon naman ang pansin sa nagbasag sa katahimikan. Ang nagsalita, si Lloyd.

“Alam ko namang simula una palang talo na ako, kasi bakla ako at babae 'yong kalaban ko. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko, nababaliw na ako. Guys, this time I need your advices,” sumamo niya.