PAPER HEARTS

36

"Could you pass the salt, Minjun?"

Six people occupy the table that's been laid for eight. I don't know the newcomers of our home who are absent - Minjun's parents, I assume - but they're lucky they aren't here to witness the drama tonight. 

I sit beside my sister and her boyfriend is silently playing with his food, beside her, not even close to blinking an eye at anyone in the room, and he occasionally engages my dad in a clipped conversation. But that's it; Namjoon is too reserved to blend in with this mess of a household. My parents sit clustered together, talking to each Namjoon and Yoora in hushed voices, and Minjun sits across from me, gripping onto his butter knife tighter as I say his name for the tenth time this evening.

He unwraps a neatly made napkin, pressing it to his lips before flinging the bottle my way. 

I beam. "Thank you, Minjun." 

I place the unopened bottle beside my water, grinning at him as he fumes. Since he'd been sitting across from me, I've had a free pass to piss him off in the most innocent, harmless ways possible, and it seems to me that I'm the only one enjoying the scene. 

Minjun chews on his food, jawline flexed, and his eyes narrowed at his rice as red hot anger tints his face.  I know he knows that I don't need any more salt on my plate - that I only want to kid around with him to piss him off to an extent where he'd crave to explode. I'm just doing this to make up for all the times he's ruined my ego. It's a give and take contract; we all need something to mooch off of and tonight, my game is stronger than his.

No hard feelings, right?

"Do you want some salt, Minjun?" 

His eyes flit to meet mine, scornful and ready to shoot daggers into my skull right here and now and watch my brains splatter against the wall. He looks so riled up, I almost laugh at the sight of his reddening neck. His eyes have lost their meaning now, they're only full of malice and anger that's uncalled for, and all of my efforts are showing great results so far.

"No." He snarls.

I beam sweetly. "Don't be so salty, Minnie."

Yoora's elbow sinks into my ribs and I wince, batting her hands away from me.

"What?" I hiss.

My sister gives me a subtle nod, slanting her neck to the side so her hair can veil her face from our parents' view, and her eyes roll to the side to draw my attention to them. I sit straighter, frigid with shame whilst noticing their sharp stare lasering through my skull and I'm struck with the realization that they've been watching me converse with the wrong code of behavior all this while. Swallowing thickly, my eyes drift back down to the lamb skewers on my plate and I dance the tips of my fork over the meat.

"Oh, wait!" Yoora kills the awkward silence with a cry, "Isn't it the 24th of December, today? Jae's birthday?"

If anything, her announcement goes unnoticed, except for the faint trail of a birthday song that's being mumbled from Namojoon. He does stop after two words, taking in how he's the only one making a fool out of himself and I stifle a smile. It sounded more like a weak death march, but I'll hand it to him because he's considered doing it amidst a pack of hyenas who are always willing to throw him out of the herd.

Under the table, Yoora is patting me by the hand and I simply sit still as a wave of numbness sets off something in me. My parents don't care. All they can see is the blemishes I've stabbed into the night, and there's nothing else to it.