❝ find ur love. ❞ || endhawks {18+}✔

find

[warning!]
this smutfic includes:
- choking
- minor overstimulation
- trigger social themes
- etc.

also i was too eager with this one, i dont like it :((

"you were a fool, hawks. what on earth were you doing?" the voice of a middle-aged man only proceeded to get louder and louder within the small office. of course, it would be logical to assume this was his office but, in actuality, it was hawks' office - to be honest, endeavour would usually occasionally forget that the younger male had owned his own hero agency; especially considering his laid-back attitude. he could save so many people without even looking at the people he were saving, what a feature, huh? however, that wasn't going to stop the lecture he happened to receive now. 

surprisingly though, hawks' expression wasn't relaxed into a smile rather, it was quite motionless. in fact, he hadn't even spoken up to calm the man from his anger.

"me and rumi needed you out there today! she even - god knows how - managed to multi-task while fighting off this nomu and trying to call you on the phone. where the hell were you?!" he exclaimed, slamming his fist against the white office table. "this is literally your eighth time in a row leaving us out there in the open! trust me, i've kept count!!"

it was true. hawks had been leaving them stranded against multiple nomu and it was only getting ever so harder for them to take them down alone for it seemed as if the mental prowess of the destructive creature was evolving which each one they faced. this was bad for them, but also the citizens of their nation as well. what if they became too intelligent for their own good? compared to the one all might had faced back at u.s.j, these were a totally different level. it was obvious, considering the large scar that tore down the number one hero's face after defeating just one of them a month or so ago.

hawks sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair as his amber eyes focused on the imac in front of him and the phone with a screen turned down to low brightness only a few inches away from it. the phone that he was texting on would soon have to be destroyed.. "endeavour, i--", he paused, his voice cracking within the first few words. "i'm sorry."

"why do you apologize and only continue to do it again?! that's not what a 'i'm sorry' means!", he cut off, gritting his teeth. "the words 'i'm sorry' mean that you're never supposed to do it again! you're supposed to redeem yourself and make up for your actions - not repeat them!" he should know. the history he's had with his own kids proved it. endeavour glared down at him, with a rather disappointing look. 

"here i thought someone like you knew that."

hawks' eyes snapped open and his body jolted up from his seat as his wings flared up. "what's that supposed to mean?!", he grunts. he knew exactly what that meant. the man before him was referencing to his grueling, (pratically) brainwashing training from the government and as much as hawks was thankful to go through it; every fiber of his being despised it. it was hell for a child. "god, endeavour, i just-- i cant!" 

the only reason why hawks could not assist them in battle as much as he could was literally because of his confidential mission with the league of villains. the commission forced his mouth shut, even in front of the world's number one hero. the mere fact that he basically abandoned his allies pulled at his heartstrings, how he just had to abandon endeavour like that, even rumi. 

"and why not, hawks?", he snarled, grabbing the hero's jacket collar. at this moment, the winged hero froze - he was never scared of the flamed man, but seeing those eyes (cold as ice) pierce into his soul sent shivers throughout his body. "or.. should i even call you that?"

hawks went silent. that tore his heart. 

"are you-..are you doubting me?", he asks at first. "are you literally doubting my trust?" endeavour gazed at him for a moment, he could see the heartache there yet devastation clouded such a thing. "endeavour, you're doubting the one thing that keeps us on the same side! the one thing that keeps us.."

together.
in love.

"heroes?", the larger man finished, raising a brow. that pained hawks heart.. he was honestly hoping for a better response.

"yeah.", he breathed, pursing his lips. "and you doubt that. we've been working together for practically five years now and you genuinely don't believe that i'm with you through this?" endeavour lowered his eyes as hawks pushed himself a little forward, leaning. he wanted to be so willingly close to him. "even after we.."

endeavour kept his gaze off the given male. if anything, endeavour had ruined his relationship with probably the only woman he'd ever love in his life and there was no way that she nor their kids could ever forgive him for such a thing, either. yet hawks still loved him. with a ruffing sigh, he dropped the collar from his grasp and turned on his heel; nearly causing the other male to fall over on his desk. 

"i'm going home. i'll see you tomorrow, hawks."

the blonde looked up through his crumpled, messy bangs; opening his mouth to say something but, only ended up shutting himself up as his wings fell sadly at his sides. "..right.", he frowned. "you as well, endeavour."