❝ find ur love. ❞ || endhawks {18+}✔

your

after the small blowout with endeavour two weeks ago, neither had spoken to each other. not because they were angry, but rather both of them just didn't know how to speak to each other again after things like that - which was bad because one of them (usually endeavour, really) would end up questioning their relationship. to be honest, hawks was actually pissed at the commission for actually doing such a thing to him. ever since he was assigned to steal information from the league of villains as well as cooperate with them, he'd been forced to abandon and hurt so many of his fellow allies - purposefully put them on the front lines in order to gain more of a trusting bond with them. 

even though he really disliked doing such things, even he knew he was probably the only one actually eligible enough to do this mission. hawks had pushed himself, broke his bones, and even starved himself so many times to make sure he had the potential to be by endeavour's side..

and then, in the end, he only managed to hurt him.

how could he apologize for something he couldn't say? something he could not help?

"excuse me, mr. hawks!", a feminine voice chirped through the outside of his office doors.

"come in!"

within moments, a secretary of his with a low bun and formal wear stepped into the room, pushing up the glasses that were slowly slipping down the bridge of her nose. "you have a meeting to attend to in the early evening, about 6:35." wait, what? "it's with some of the regional representatives about the occurring nomu, some of the fellow pro-heroes will be there also."

oh no. he always thanked ren, his best secretary within his agency that kept him updated. as much as his fans had not realized it, hawks was sometimes prone to forgetting about boring things - like meetings, per se. and truthfully, how could he forget this? he would have to see endeavour again and part of him didn't know if he could bare such a thing right now. 

"thank you, ren! i'll make sure to remember that.", he spoke, concealing his nervousness. he had to attend that meeting because how else was he ever going to make up for his behavior for leaving the others? well, sure. maybe he didn't have to go but, he felt as if it were required for him to redeem himself. 

not just himself, either..

▶

fuck. 

                                    fuck. 

                                                                     fuck.

hawks' anxiety was literally skyrocketing. he was not expecting the meeting to be this tense, but for fucks sake; it was. everyone had this unpleasing tension towards him and some even shot him glares - even though some had barely made contact with him, he could practically taste the resentment for him in particular in the air. it caused his heart to beat heavy and his eyes to dim low. 

he felt.. ashamed. 

ashamed to be here with these honorable people, while he went behind their backs and even begun showing a soft side for villains. he hurt the number one hero as well as he hurt them. some of them even still had noticeable injuries from their battles with their encounter with the nomu - while hawks sat there, fine as rain. 

hawks just wanted to bury his head in his arms. he felt vulnerable, like someone slowly peeling open an orange. a few of the members of the hero commission was hosting the meeting and he could even notice how they repeatedly kept him in their sights, watching him, scanning him; peering into his soul. it made his wings repeatedly twitch and shudder out of tension.