Resist Me Not

19

I didn't sleep very well when I got home from Ryan's. I had a dream that started off sweet and loving. I was with a shadowed figure, so I couldn't tell if it was Ryan or Eric. Then the dream turned dark, and the shadowed figure split into two and walked away from me in different directions. I was left standing alone, not knowing which figure to follow.

When I woke up, Eric had already left. Though I did sleep in until eleven since I didn't get home until close to two, plus it was the weekend. I thought about my dream, while I turned on the coffee maker and jumped in the shower as the coffee was brewing.

I knew it was telling me I had to make a choice before it was made for me. But I felt like it was too soon to make any rash decisions based on one fun night. Okay, two, if I include the night in Napa.

I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. After drying off and putting on my underwear, I did my makeup and blow-dried my hair as straight as possible. Then I went into my walk-in closet and changed into a grey, knitted, turtleneck sweater dress with black leggings. I threw on a pair of high heeled grey, knee-high boots. I felt like shit on the inside, but look great on the outside.

I picked up sushi from our favorite restaurant close to our apartment and made my way to the subway to head to Eric's office. There was a large group of tourists in my subway car. I deciphered that they were from Brazil, as I heard them speaking a mixture of Spanish and Portuguese.

I only knew that because Eric, Sasha, Becca, and I went to Brazil during our spring break of junior year in college. We had a blast, and the people were great. Well, Becca and I had a blast. Sasha and Eric fought most of the time. I think that's where Sasha's dislike for Eric stemmed. They were both wanting to control every aspect of our vacation, and neither one would budge until Becca or I did something to break the tension. After that, we never took another trip together and vowed we never would in the future either.

The train pulled into my stop. I squeezed through the group of tourists and hopped off just in time before the doors closed. 

My phone rang. It was probably Eric checking to see where I was. I rummaged through my purse to get to my phone as I walked up the subway stairs. I froze mid-step when I saw that it was Ryan's name that appeared on the screen. 

Instantly my adrenaline was kicking into high gear. Why was he calling me on a Saturday? I know we just had sex and all, but he didn't know Eric was working.

I continued up the stairs as I answered. Trying to ensure that I came off calm and collected. "Hello?"

"Hey." His voice in my ear triggered flashbacks of him and me in his bedroom.

"What's up?" I didn't want to talk long, for obvious reasons. I returned to the cold outdoors and was picking up my pace to get to Eric's office.

"Not much. I just woke up, and you were the first thing on my mind. I was going to just text you, but I wanted to hear your voice. Last night was amazing." His words were making me blush, but thankfully my nose and cheeks were already red from the cold, so it would be easy to blame the weather. I didn't know what to say back. I, of course, agreed with him, but should I tell him that? I think my extended silence concerned him slightly. "Did you enjoy yourself too?"

"I did. More than I care to admit."

I could sense him smiling on the other end. "When can we do that again?"

I stopped just outside the doors of Eric's building. I thought for a moment about my answer, while I looked out to the streets around me. There were clusters of people walking this way and that to get through the cold, to their destination. Though it wasn't too crowded since this part of the city was relatively quiet on the weekends.