Finding

(8) Feelings

Starting Notes:

Hello, everyone.

There'd be a few words that are written in another language here and at the end of the story their translations would be given for better reading understanding and convenience. I hope people don't mind since the change of language would show how Tord and the others are comfortable enough to use their mother tongue when speaking and are trying to make their point.

Anyway, I do hope you'd find this chapter satisfactory.

_________________________________

A few more weeks until Christmas and Tom was beginning to hate the fact that he was getting nothing from his investigations. There was nothing in the results and yet he was starting to see where Tord was coming from.

His instincts, both the human and monster part, were warning him that something would happen. Heck, there were even dreams and all of them weren't pretty. After all, all of them involved losing Tord.

But up at a point, the dreams began to change.

Instead of losing Tord, it was him who had been lost.

He had been lost due to a mistake he made and because of it Tord was the one to pay.

In these kinds of dreams, he'd sometimes see Tord crying out of loss and guilt. Tord would repeatedly apologize to him and ask him why he fell for him. Tord would think that everything was his own fault and punish himself since he died.

It was all just so...depressingly miserable.

That, as much as part of him was glad to know that the Norwegian cared enough for him to cry and blame himself, a bigger part of Tom didn't want such scenes from happening. After all, he loved Tord and he didn't want to see the other man suffer in any way.

If anything, whenever he saw the scenes of the silvernette crying, he'd have the huge urge to embrace the Norski and wipe away his tears. He would want to make Tord's pain go away and see him smile.

And yet, he couldn't do anything.

In those dreams he was powerless to do anything at all and was forced to remain being a bystander. Always so close but far enough that he wouldn't be able to influence anything.

It was just down right frustrating.

Tom then in turn tried to make things easier for Tord as much as he could during his waking hours. The smiles and pleased gestures that he was receiving from the Norwegian was, fortunately, relieving enough that it would temporarily calm his anxious mind.

Nonetheless, it hadn't stopped the Brit from thinking of different possible fail safes that he could have.

Was it possible to find a way to have a life after death? A resurrection? Or even a transfer of his soul to another body?

Tom remembered how when the four (Matt, Edd, Him and Tord) of them were still living together, they would undergo the craziest adventures. From magical artifacts, mythical monsters and up to meeting aliens; he had already experienced enough to know that there must be something that would ensure his and Tord's life.

There must be something....

When an idea suddenly popped into his mind.

"That could possibly work," Tom mused as he decided to try this idea of his. Therein, making up his mind, he had his schedule cleared for the week with Tord's permission and opted to look for a certain magical artifact that could be of use to him without the silvernette's knowledge.