It's been five years since what I did to my dad. I'm so tired of this power. Almost every day we get earthquakes, I'm the cause. I've killed so many on accident. I'm a horrible person. I've told the cops what I've done, but they never believe me. Instead they lock me up in this is insane asylum! I'm writing this on the wall of my cell. I'm so sick of this lifestyle, "Why did you pick me"!
I cry every night before I go to bed. They think I'm insane but I'm not, instead I'm a man with power. Not a god but a demon. When I first found this power I was fourteen years old. I didn't know what I was doing oh why I was chosen to have this power, am I supposed to take over as God. I hope not I've already fucked everything up. So now they keep me locked in this pillow cell, Feeding me pills until I fall asleep until I start to laugh. They think I'm a joke when I can crush their hands with a blink of an eye. I bet you're asking why I haven't done that yet. I already have, They didn't know what it was, but it was me. Everyone here just sees me as the guy who thinks he's God, I'm not God, I already told you I'm a demon, a Devil!
I would love to see my family, but they're all dead. I killed them, first my father, then my brother, I don't even think this found my mom yet. It was an accident, all of them. I just get mad, and everyone around me crumbles. You know, sometimes I still see the butterflies from the bathroom. I kind a wish that one day they'll take me out of here when they fly out the window, but they never do.
Every day I live my entire life all over again up until here in every single time I end up here,"where is here", you ask. Here is Hell!!! I don't have a cell mate anymore. All of them go turned into woodpecker's. So now I'm all alone, alone with my thoughts.
The doctor say I'm bipolar, and I might be. So I'm taking meds for that now too. I take about fifteen different pills each day. Some of them make me laugh, some of them make me cry, but in my head I deserve it all. I guess you can say the people here are scared of me. I told them about what I've done but then they just call the guards over and they shove pills down my throat. maybe I should be scared of them!
I'm ranting too much. I guess you wanna know why I am not God. That's why you're here right, you want me to tell you why I titled my story, "Why I'm not God", that's what you want to know, that's why you're here for the very last chapter. I guess I'll tell you, got no one else to tell. I'm not God because I don't know what the hell I'm doing! I'm a monster! I've ruined the figure of God, I've made a fool of him. And I am a monster, Demon, devil, you can choose whatever you wanna call me just know that I'm not a God!
