Let's Not Meet: A Collection

vagina island

Back in 2009 I got a call from my friend K. This was two years after we went our separate ways for college. I was 20 at the time. He had began to tell me of this island that we had to go to. We had grown up together and spent our youth exploring the ends and outs of our small Midwestern town so I was all for it. He had explained to me that him and some of his friends had found it when they were exploring in the river.

He had told me all about it and was excited to share his find with another person. I was jealous that I wasn't there when it was first discovered but I got over it and got pumped to see what he had unearthered.

It's been a running joke that I don't know how to swim, never did, probably never will, and the island lay in the middle of the river. Usually the waters weren't high so he reassured me that all I had to do was wade behind him and our other friend S would be behind me in case I hit a sink hole. Sucking up my nervousness of aquatic things, I agreed and we popped off our shirts and sunk into the muddy waters.

The island looked close from the banks but took some time to get to in the chest high waters (See pic 1). As we floated with the current we made jokes and spent our time bullshitting. None of us had a camera due to the fact that we didn't want to get our phones wet, and who really cared, he had already taken pictures from his last quest, now was just time to show us.

Once we pulled our bodies up onto the land we took a minute to breathe. K had taken his shoes off to keep them dry and left them with our tshirts but it wasn't a place to be without feet protection. Wild bushes and branches lay strewn about everywhere. The island looked fairly untouched. It was in the river next to a state park, but still deep enough down where people wouldn't bother it.

We followed K's lead into this thistle and after four or five minutes we found a clearing towards the center. In it lay what we were looking for. There was a giant cement ass of a lady sitting next to a lawn chair. This wasn't just some art project; it was well detailed. There was a marble stuffed in her to resemble a clit and was massive. (See Pic 2).

We laughed and romped around but I had a strange feeling on the island. It felt weird. My other two friends seemed a little creeped out but generally blew it off. It stuck with me.

A few weeks later I decide that I have to go back to Vagina Island (Appropriately coined by K), but my friends had no real interest in going again. About that time I was living in my first apartment with a roommate during college and had a few friends back home. My college was only an hour and a half away, so the travel was no big deal and was always worth it when I pulled into my old driveway.

I had been talking to a girl online and decided that her, my friend E, my roommate J, and I would meet for the first time, and that I would take her to Vagina Island. It had a mystical pull to it and those that I told didn't seem to believe me, so we agreed.

J and I picked up E and eventually met up with A who uneasily got into my car but we all hit it off quick. The drive was about forty minutes so we stopped to buy basketball shorts that we could wear into the river, E had my wetsuit from my trunk that I had carried around for a couple years because I was young and it was humorous, and we picked up a waterproof disposable camera.

We get ready to go and make it to the island. I'm unfamiliar with the layout since K led the way so we wondered around until we were able to find where we needed to be. The first thing that caught my eye was that it was different than last time, just a few days before! The bottom of the lady is still there (See Pic 3), but this time there is more, and it has grown in creepiness in an intense manner.

Next to the bottom half is a full bodied women, laying in a pale white cement, staring up at the sky. This immediately freaked us all out, especially after I had hyped up the vagina. She looked ghostly (See Pic 4, 5, and 6. 6 just so you can see the size of it in comparison to me). She was wearing nothing but rain boots and her nipples had been painted gold.