Let's Not Meet: A Collection

stalker story

My freshman year of college was one of the funnest years of my life, and some of my fondest memories are from that year. But it was also the scariest and strangest year to date (I'm 31 now). This is thanks to 1 story in particular (there are actually a couple more that I might post some other time) that takes place over the entire school year. I still sometimes wonder how this really happened and I didn't end up a shut-in nutjob, and it still freaks me out to this day. I've only talked about it once or twice since it happened 13 years ago.

*August 2001 Like most freshman, I live in the dorms at a state party school. I opted out of the good school I got into. I guess I had a little steam to blow off after graduating from a military/college-prep boarding school. Plus, after a sports injury I didn't exactly have any specific plan for life that went past Saturday night if you know what I mean.

A good buddy from military school, Bill, went to same college and lived a few floors below in the same dorm as me. So of course we were getting the party started before my parents' exhaust fumes had even evaporated from the parking lot. For the most part, the first month or so of college was pretty much like that - normal. I went to most of my classes, partied just about every night, chased girls around, and that was enough for the moment. But things began to change one night sometime in mid-September, and college for me would never be "normal" again.

My dorm phone (land-line, only zack morris carried a cell phone in 2001 get over it) rings in the middle of the night - "hello?" On the other end, I can only really describe the voice as the kind you picture when you think about a computer talking. Kinda like the early model car GPS's. "Hi-Gary-how-are-you-today" Not fully awake, I'm just confused at this point. "Who is this?" He repeats "Hi-Gary-how-are-you-today". It becomes clear I'm being f'd with, so I hang up and chuckle - f'ing Bill, nice one - I pass back out.

I end up forgetting about the call for a few days and never mention mention to Bill or anyone else. About a week later, I get another call around the same time of night. "Hi-Gary-I'm-watching-you". Nice, very cliche. "Seriously Bill, how are you not knee deep in everclear or a Tri Delt at this hour? Enough already, Kade (roommate) is going to start getting pissed." I hang up.

I casually confront my oh-so-clever amigo at breakfast the next morning, purposely not trying to bite too hard to give him a payoff that might incentivized continued calls. I also wasn't 100% it was actually him and not another one of my douchebag friends. He gives a genuinely confused response. Whatever. So a couple days after 2nd call I come home and see I had multiple messages on my answering machine. WTF I barely knew that thing even worked. It's computer-voice guy (CVG).

Message 1: (my machine cuts off first 1-2 seconds of message, which tells me it's a bot set to play message upon answer. "Hi-Gary-I'm-watching-you"

Message 2: "I-thought-I-asked-you-to-answer-my-calls-Gary"

Message 3: "Where-might-Gary-be-on-a-Tuesday-night"

Okay, so one of my friends is clearly @sshole or bored enough to really push for a reaction here. The next day, I play the messages for Kade, who was around during the calls (which were apparently earlier in the night when he was still awake. He'd been a close buddy since we were in junior high, but we'd sorta taken separate paths after high school. So anyway, he's aware I'm a wild child and thinks nothing of the first couple messages. By 3rd, he's a little spooked. I then walk down to a couple other buddies' rooms and casually but immediately bring up the subject. Nada. Over the next couple of days, I press all close and semi-close friends but get zero answers and zero suspects.

The calls start coming more frequently over the next couple months, starting at once a week, then to once every 2-3 days, up to EVERY DAY by Christmas break. I don't say anything to my family at that point, although I really really should have. What started out as a decent beginning of college turned into not showing up for any classes, tests, nothing. Grades reflect, and I am too busy answering for a 0.67 GPA to talk about some dumb prank that would likely be dismissed as a pathetic attempt at grades explanation. So it goes.