Your thoughts, I thought

Self

October 29, 2019

I hate myself.

I seriously hate myself for being like this.

Being envious and insecure.

Being hateful.

Being grumpy all the time.

Why am I being like this?

Even if I am serving to God.

Why can't I have this pure heart that only knows how to love and to be contented?

I know that I am physically and mentally exhausted as well as my parents but why?

Why am I being like this even if I don't like to be this kind of person?

Why I can't be like the other youths who serves happily inside and outside the church?

Why am I always wearing my mask to hide my true character?

Am I being protected to myself?

Or am I being selfish to others?

I want to be like everyone who never limit themselves but instead of changing myself into better, I always turned to be someone whose very insecure of the things she'll never had.

God knows I don't want to be me.

I don't like myself.

But why am I always being blessed?

Blessed of the things that I have.

Why can't I focus on the things that I have instead of the things I don't have?