Harry Styles One Shots

Two of Us: (ii)

Summary: Y/N's trying to make it on her own
Warnings: angst, mentions of death
Word Count: 1436 words
Song: Flowers in the Window by Travis

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The day was picture perfect. The sun was at its brightest, beating down on the backs of the visitors, dressed in black for the event. Birds were tweeting, flying in the open air against a backdrop of blue skies and puffy white clouds. The grass beneath their feet was a healthy green.

"He was a good man," Adam said solemnly to Y/N after the service. She nodded along, a stoic expression plastered on her face. It seemed that she wasn't even listening to the condolences being offered by his friends and family.

Y/N sat on the uncomfortable plastic chair, watching people around her pack up the four-pole tent that served as a shade. She scanned as burly men stacked rows upon rows of chairs which were sat on by his loved ones not thirty minutes after she last saw him in the flesh. The ground where he now lay, six feet under, overlay layers of soil that squatted over his body.

She watched it all in slow motion--it seemed. He was gone yet the world continued to power through as if nothing had happened. He was her world and without him, she felt lost. Y/N couldn't seem to get her legs to move from underneath- not even when the man in charge requested for her to do so because they had to leave for another occasion. She could see that the man was growing frustrated over her immobilized body, fingers twitching at his side.

"Ma'am we need to get going," He said in a stern voice. Y/N remained expressionless, staring at him with an empty look in her eyes that the man actually cowered back a bit.

She didn't move or speak.

The man scratched his head agitatedly, "We really need that chai-,"

"It's just a chair!" She snapped, eyes infuriated with pain and sorrow. "I lost the love of my life today and all you care about is a goddamn chair," For a moment, she let the events of the past few days take their toll on her shoulders, slouching against the plastic in a moment of weakness but Y/N straightened her back as soon as it touched the surface.

She kicked her body upwards, eyeing the man who sighed in relief. She headed to the car that she drove alone, seeing Anne and Gemma approaching her slowly.

"Are you going to be okay?" Anne asked, softly letting her hand graze the sleeveless part of her arm. Y/N nodded in response, her throat feeling a tad too dry to let words escape their confines.

Y/N leaned in for a hug from his mother, her eyelashes touching her red cheeks. She breathed in deeply, composing herself. Gemma patted her back gently, murmuring comforting words in her ear.

--

It was another night where Y/N woke up in cold sweat-her body shivering from how lucid her dream was. He was right there laying beside her. She could feel the warmth from his body radiate to her, she could graze her fingers lightly on the bridge of his nose, towards the tip and she swore she could sense the softness of his lips against her own. Yet as she took a slight glance to her left shoulder, she saw nothing but clean, unwrinkled sheets where no one had laid for the past couple of weeks.

She didn't allow herself to sleep on his side of the bad no matter how much the urge in her body pushed her to. It was his side and doing so made her feel a twinge of guilt. His smell lingered to her nostrils, a little fainter each day but it was still there. A droplet splashed against the tan bedsheets, making the spot darker than the rest. Y/N flicked on the lights in their bedroom.

Y/N sat up abruptly, sheets jostling across her lap. She was trying so very hard to be strong, but every now and then the dam broke. Tears flushed down her cheeks and she couldn't do anything to stop the waterfall. Despite not doing much at all lately, she somehow released enough tears to fill a tub.

Sobs broke through her body, echoing from the four walls that held memories of them together and- now, just her. It pierced her ears repeatedly and sometimes she wondered if the universe held a grudge against her or something because she couldn't point out an action as to why she deserved to go through so much pain.

Her hair was a tangled mess and if he was here-she was sure that he would stroke the strands with his long fingers and place her head on his chest. He was so caring, so sweet and so beautiful. But now, he was gone. All that remained of him were his items carelessly discarded or clothes folded neatly in the closet-all were left untouched. The memories they shared embedded deep in her mind, securing them to the best of her ability. She didn't want to forget him, but at the same time, she wished to rid of the pounding grief that she cannot escape.

The diamond on her finger was twisted and turned, contemplating if she still had the right to wear it because after all--they weren't legally married. He promised her that they would wed, ensured her that they would be together and that their wedding could be the trashiest or most grandiose- as long as he married her, he was happy.

"You promised, H," She hiccupped, clutching her finger to her chest as if it may somehow bring him back to her. Her tears slowly escalated to one of frustration and she couldn't help but let her anger out on him. "You promised me we would be together-that we would get married and have children,"

"A little family of our own," Y/N glanced at the cold side of the bed, imagining his figure reassuring her that they were going to make everything come true. "What happened to that, huh?"

Snot ran down her cupid's bow and she messily wiped it away with the back of her hand. Her eyes were stinging a bit from the rupture of the air against it, yet tears continued to develop and fall as effortlessly.

"Why did you have to go?" She questioned, looking up to the ceiling-looking for hope and courage. "Why did you leave me?" Y/N whispered the words against her lips, breaths of air wafting in the abyss. It was just her now- there was no more Harry and Y/N.

"I wish it was me instead,"

Y/N didn't know how she was going to get through this. She wasn't sure if she was strong enough. Her heart was left with him and it disappeared along when he passed. She was angry with the world; angry at the vicious man who didn't care about others' well-being. She was angry with Harry for leaving her desolate from the world but deep inside she knew that it was only out of denial and grief that she blamed him.

He was something else; completely unique from others but somehow he and Y/N fit together. They conquered the world step-by-step, hand in hand; they were nothing without each other.

At the back of her mind, she envisioned their hypothetical family and it brought a smile to her tear-stricken face. In that scene, both Harry and her slow-danced to the harmony of Harry's favourite song- the same one that was supposed to be played at their wedding, but was played at his funeral instead.

-

"Flowers in the window?" Y/N raised a brow, looking at the tape he had made and given to her on their anniversary. He smiled shyly, refusing to look her in the eyes.

"Yeah, I um, I thought it would be," He puffed his cheeks, "nice."

-

Their child watched from her play mat, sitting on her bum and clapping enthusiastically with a big grin on her face. Y/N imagined baby angel to have the same dimples and unruly hair that Harry had.

The moon was shining through the gaps of the curtain. Y/N was hopelessly reminiscing even though she was aware that it would bring her further sadness. How badly she wished that Harry was still with her. But from now on, it's her and baby love.

"It's just the two of us now, bubby," Y/N muttered sweetly with a crack in her voice. "Daddy's gonna watch us from up there," She pointed to the sky, grasping the tiny bump forming on her tummy. It was about the size of a grain of rice.

"We love you, H"

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