Creatrix

Chapter 16 - Wishing and Wise Caution

Aitkin was charging south, looking for Eve. He had stayed up all night playing Creation while his mother slept in the room next door; he thought if he could get to the lake before Tyr and Anika and rescue the girl, then they would know what a hero he was. He only wore light leather armour, and his only weapon was a crude short sword. He hoped he wouldn’t need to use it; he had no intention of fighting anything, and thought that he was small and quick enough to escape from trouble. He imagined that he’d easily find the girl and get her out without being caught. 

Now he was in the woods alone, he was filled with doubt; he remembered Dolhran, what the others kids said had happened to him, and began to regret the impulsiveness that had brought him here. He heard a sound behind him and snapped round, but he could see nothing. 

Idiot. What was he doing out here alone? It was stupid really. His stomach tightened around his fear; he could hear a clicking and rasping sound all around him, but couldn’t find the source of the noise. He ran, but the noise became louder. He was terrified. Then he saw them. Hundreds of black polished dots were shifting up out of the ground, quivering to shake off the sandy earth, and rasping against each other. They looked like beetles and as they emerged, hard and shiny, scuttling towards him at great speed, he knew he wouldn’t outrun them; they were heading straight for him. There were so many of them it looked like one single mass of quivering glasslike pods, rolling over each other, their hard backs cracking and clicking. He tried to leave the game, it should have been easy, you just imagine yourself out and it happens, but it didn’t happen; he was trapped in Creation, and as hard as he tried to see his bedroom, he couldn’t get out.

 Aitkin couldn’t believe his stupidity – he was always making mistakes like this, even in real life. He was always in trouble at school. He would get into fights and never know how it happened, he’d run out into the road without a thought for his safety; he was impulsive and never saw the danger in anything until it was too late. He felt like an idiot most of the time. 

The mass of entities stopped in a circle around him and became silent. He felt the multitude watching him. It felt like they were waiting, waiting for him to make a mistake. He was taken by terror. He felt a lump in his throat, making it hard for him to breathe. He couldn’t scream, and silent tears rushed down his face; he curled up into a ball on the ground and the shivering mass engulfed him with a sinister chattering sound. His screams fell silent as he was pulled beneath the earth and the dirt fell into his mouth.

Aitkin used the last of his breath and life trying to dig himself out and away from the beetles that nipped and bit into his flesh. He scratched his hands raw, scrabbling at the earth, and when he took his next breath he suffocated - his body convulsed. He felt himself die.

***

Anika sat back on her bed, feeling the warmth where Tyr’s arms had held her and remembering the feeling of his lips on hers, the closeness of his body. She could still taste his kiss on her lips. 

There was a knock at her door. She quickly hid the Lightcrystal under her bed along with the cereal she had earlier.

 ‘Hang on! Just a second.’  She called out. Grabbing her dressing gown, she wrapped it tight around her, and shifted the heavy chair away from the door. Trying to hide the excitement that she was feeling over Tyr and how it made her eyes shine, she opened the door wide enough to look at her father.

 ‘Hello Anika,’ he said. He looked embarrassed and awkward, like he didn’t know what to say. He smelt like soap because he’d had a shower. He was clean-shaven and his soft brown hair was damp and ruffled. ‘Have you had breakfast?’ He asked.    

‘Yes, I had some earlier when you were asleep.’ She said.

 ‘Oh, OK, Well I’m going out, do you want me to pick up anything from the shop?’ he asked.

 ‘No. I need to go shopping later. I can pick up anything we need.’  Anika said.

 ‘Right. I suppose you need money,’ he said and pressed a note into her hand. 'Anika,' he said and his hand lingered, touching hers, looking for a deeper connection, but she couldn’t take it and pulled away. His shoulders slumped.  

‘Well then, I’m going out. See you later.’  He said, and he smiled, tried to look in her eyes, but she wouldn’t let him, so he left. 

Hearing the front door slam shut, Anika went to the bathroom to get washed. She pulled her hair back into a tight ponytail and looked in the mirror. Her eyes were shining. She thought of Tyr holding her and kissing her again and felt a warm stirring in her tummy. Hugging herself and biting her lip, she went back to her room and sat on the bed. She needed to make sense of all this, get it straight in her head before going back.

She’d never kissed anyone like this before and hadn’t expected it to feel like it did. She didn’t even know how it had happened. They literally fell into it and it was intense. Anika’s chest was beating wildly. She remembered them falling, rolling together to the ground. It was romantic and wild, but she knew it wasn’t true and wished it was. 

‘Sometimes wishing is enough,’ she thought. 

She wondered how Tyr might be feeling, and flipped at the sudden realization that he was somewhere else, right now, doing whatever he did, maybe even thinking of her. She found it strange and incredible. The whole day was spent like this, caught between the excitement of how she felt about Tyr, and the self-talk that cautioned her. 

‘Don’t fall to deeply, be careful,’ warned her guarded voice. 

‘But there’s a deeper connection, and it’s clear we met for a reason; why not fall for him?’ reckless abandon replied.

‘I don’t even know who he is; I know nothing about him, he could be anyone. It’s wrong to feel like this about a complete stranger,’ wise caution counselled again.

‘It feels so true, so right, he’s nice, and he’s kind, and he cares about me.’ She needed to feel cared about.

‘I don’t even know his age, or where he comes from. How can he call me beautiful when all he sees is an imaginary created self?’ She also needed to be careful.

‘If I feel something more, maybe he does too. I can sense that this is right; he’s got a good heart.’ And again, she fell into the feelings she had when he kissed her.

‘It’s just a game.' she told herself, ‘I’m playing to have fun. Stop analysing it and enjoy it!’ 

She was happy with this thought. They were playing a game, writing a story together, not even real life. It’s like when you read a good novel, you can submerge yourself into the characters and plot, you really feel their emotions and live the story. There’s nothing wrong with that. Anika was happy to take this attitude with the game, and more importantly, with what was happening between her and Tyr. 

 ‘So, it’s okay to write this story together, enjoy the experiences, the emotions of our characters, as long as we don’t place too much importance on them.’  She convinced herself this would be easy, and then throughout the day  felt guilty for trying to hold on to those good feelings. 

The distraction completely captivated her thoughts and gave her usually dull day liveliness and meaning. Somewhere between wishing and wise caution, she played with her emotions and, for once, she started on her chores with an excited expectancy and a cheerful heart.