My Heart

Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Memories

"Bianca"

Have you ever had some horrible memories or events in your life that you want to get rid of? Even if they are very vague and fuzzy? I know that I sure did. 6:00 am on the 13th of December 2001,, was a day that I could never forget, knowing that the man with the hammer would decide which parent I would live with didn't help things. I can remember not wanting to wake up, taking refugee under my covers didn't accomplish anything rather than to get my dad upset. 

Groaning to myself I rolled out of bed. Just the mere idea of the cold water on my back and having my mom coming up to my bathroom every two seconds to tell me to hurry up gave me Goosebumps that hurt. I can remember that when I was human, I was more of a night owl than an early bird. Staying up late under my blanket with a flashlight and my latest novel, or watching the last episode of Fashion Mania.  

But that freezing morning in the heart of December, no choice was left for me but to go take a bath. Pulling on my robe I started walking the mahogany floors to the bathroom.

I stepped in the cool water of the bathtub/pool, I felt the water curl around my toes and engulf my senses with dreams of summer and the beach. 

Taking a breath I plunged myself in the water, my senses coming to life, and I automatically started sorting the piles of pictures, sounds smells, events and tastes which humans call "memories". I put them into different self made folders in my brain.

Like the first time I wa exposed to the fiction world of vampires, or the feeling of peace that I get every time I put the scissors to the edge of a piece of fabric and how I know, that it will become something useful, my best piece of work even, a mater piece.

I remember that from early on I had the gift of organizing my memories as if they were printed and stacked ready to be placed in folders which went home to their filing cabinets. I tried to calm my racing mind, but then I heard my mom's voice, harsh and cruel as she opened the bathroom door and ended my organizing session with her words "Silly child, there's no time to take a bath, a quick shower would have done, now hurry up your breakfast is waiting for you downstairs." 

With that she left. At 8:00 we left the house. After the bath ordeal and then some more one sided arguing with my dad.

I dont get how my mom even puts up with this bull shit, I mean my dad critiques every single thing my mom does. I know I wouldnt be able too.

My mom insisted I come along with her, taking her girlie car, a Ferrari . I went with my dad's beautiful Porsche Coupe. Putting my backpack in the car, I noticed that my back hurt from my scoliosis. The bag was filled with books and sketch pads, waiting for a chance to get lst in my thoughts and daydream about Damon, my new book crush, as I called it.

I took out my favorite book the Vampire academy. I loved vampires and my mom didn't approve. Just the idea of drinking blood and doing all that crazy stuff was amazing. Oh how I used to love them, not that I don't now but I have a better understanding of them, than I had  at twelve.  

This was our fifth session with the court.

And my family was insane, they couldn't give me what I wanted- acceptance and freedom more than what a human could offer me. Sometimes I felt los in the empty walls of my house, that sheltered no soul except for the ill feelings of a brocken hearted girl who didnt have ayone, even her family. It was hard having your heart brocken at the tender age of twelve, thinking that nobody loves you. Even the ones who you thought would give you unconditional love will someday break your heart wih their stinging words aimed like swords. My parents dissaproved of me all the time, making me feel miserable and pathetic. You dont know how hard it is to wake up every day and feel like you gotta fix somehing, that maybe I fix that little thing today my parents would love me, maybe.

With my blonde hair brown eyes and petite build I took after my mom the fashion designer. She was usually in Paris or Milan for the fashion week, leaving me alone with my mad scientisct of a dad. He would go crazy at times, locking himself in his workshop from dawn til dusk wih no food or nourishment and leave me all alone in with my thoughts.

I was in the middle of thinking about my unlucky life when the first jolts started, then after a few minutes the car stopped and we were stuck in a blizzard with nothing but the car and my mom well on her way to New York. Sometimes i wonder why a 2008 porsche coup would stop, it may have been faith, or maybe that  more powerful source of power was at display. whatever it was, it would turn my life in 360 dgrees. Surrounded by a beautiful forest that would enchant even the likes of my father. With no fuel reception or heat. We were Doomed. 

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