Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and you have been NINETEEN YEARS OLD for three years now.
You currently have NO FUCKING CLUE where you are, which is definitely not a good sign when you are feared as a MONSTER by MOST OF SOCIETY.
You glance down at the VERY BLATANTLY DEAD person in front of you and your chest tightens; you are finding it CONSIDERABLY DIFFICULT to breathe.
Seeing as it has become a regular event, you had hoped that someday you would get used to your occasional UNCONSCIOUS MURDERING SPREES. Apparently not yet.
You really wish you could stop. You wish you could go back three years ago and stop your EXTRAORDINARILY STUPID past self from taking the extra shift. You wholeheartedly regret stumbling tiredly down a VERY SKETCHY shortcut back home, where you, DAVE STRIDER, the MOST IRONIC COOLKID to have ever graced this earth, became a VAMPIRE.
~
You awake suddenly with a start, dazed for a moment as you slowly open your eyes.
“OH HELL NO.”
That asshole left the curtains hanging wide open and jesus fuck has the sun always been that bright.
You reach over to the nightstand for your shades and slide them on your face, the relief from the blinding light soothing and instantaneous. You manage to roll yourself out of bed and shut the curtains before getting dressed.
You enter the kitchen and there she is, bustling around making breakfast as if she’s preparing for a typical day. Of course the very idea of that is ridiculous, because nothing about your lives is typical.
“G’mornin Jade”, you mumble, and she turns around, eyes shining brightly. “Hey, Dave!” she responds, chipper as always.
“Why is it always necessary for you to open the curtains in every room? It’s like you’re trying to burn my delicate lady eyes right out of their sockets. I’m too fragile for this rough treatment.” You say, faking a swoon.
Jade chuckles a little but then the fluffy white dog ears atop her head sag a bit and she gives you a sad smile. “You wouldn’t get it Dave, you don’t have such extraordinarily obvious mutations that prevent you from going out in the daytime. I never get to leave the apartment like you do, I’ve gotta get some sunlight somehow so I don’t go crazy locked up in here.”
You flinch a little when she says mutations, you somehow forgot that she grew up constantly being told she was a monster. A mutant.
“Ah yes, I forgot that I spend my days happily frolicking around in meadows, picking flowers and singing with the animals while victimized little Jade is trapped in a dingy old apartment all by herself,” You say sarcastically, throwing in a raised eyebrow for added effect. Your quick attempt to improve the mood just made everything awkward shit she’s just staring at you shitshitshit-
She suddenly bursts into a fit of giggles, actually doubling over a little, and you think she’s probably imagining you dancing in a field like a complete dork. Actually you know she’s imagining that, because she’s terrible at controlling her telepathic sense- an ability few Hybrids like her are gifted with- and the image is being projected into your head.
You’re immediately glad for your shades as your cheeks tinge red, and you push the images away with a disgusted shiver. You interrupt her laughter by explaining that you are the very epitome of cool, and you wouldn’t be caught dead in any sort of situation even remotely resembling that one. Half because even though that would be funny it would be more embarrassing than ironic, and half because you can’t even die anyways.
Jade grins and goes back to frying her eggs reluctantly, more because that shit was about to burn more than your sickest comebacks than because she was trying to ignore your awkward rambling. Or so you hope. She’s assured you on multiple occasions that it’s endearing when you do that, and every time you deny it because although you are many things, endearing is not one of them.
You’ve known Jade most of your life, over ten years now, and as far as you know, you have been her only human friend. You remember clearly to this day how you met, when she freaked the fuck out and hid behind a trash can when you saw her foraging through one behind your apartment building, and proceeded to try to offer her some actual food. You’d been friends ever since, yada yada yada, happily ever after. You wish. It took you an hour just to convince her you weren’t hiding a shotgun behind your scrawny nine year-old back, and even longer to make her believe you sincerely wanted to help her.
You've always been one of the “Sympathizers”, a nickname given to anyone who doesn’t follow society’s expectation that all non-humans be discriminated against. You never really got why everyone hated all Hybrids- the peaceful ones, such as Anthromorphs like Jade, had really had done nothing wrong. The not-so-docile varieties like pure-blooded vampires at least usually did their best to find an alternative, such as blood donations stolen (okay maybe that bit isn’t so great) from hospitals.
You however, are not a pure-blooded vampire. Being born as a vampire to vampire parents meant pure-bloods got extreme urges to kill. You had been bitten. That meant about once a month you wake up with an innocent’s blood on your hands (and mouth) in an unfamiliar place with only a vague recollection of what had happened.
If those myths about vampires being harmed or killed by sunlight, silver, garlic or crosses were true, you very well might have just offed yourself the first time it happened. Unfortunately, humans have yet to discover a method of killing your kind.
“Daaaaave!”
Jade waves her hand in front of your face, snapping you away from your daydream and back into reality.
“Did you even pay attention to a word I just said?” She’s looking at you expectantly. Shit.
“………What.” How eloquent, you deserve a fucking certificate for that one. You can see it now: ‘Awarded to Dave Strider for the World’s Most Fucking Elegant Response.’
She gives you a stern glance and sends you a sort of vibe that speaks for itself, meaning she wants to lecture you but apparently the thing she said is important, so she’s going to hold off for now.
“What I SAID was that my sister and brother, who happen to be my only remaining family, are going to be visiting and I want to offer them a place to stay while they are here. I think you at least deserve to know that they’ll be here tomorrow so you will have time to clean up your room for John.” She smirks at you and fuck, why did she say clean up your room for John?
“Oh, I also did mention that Jane will be staying with me in my room and John will be staying in yours. You didn’t protest so…” she trails off, an evil grin on her face. You know from experience and countless lost arguments that there’s no getting around Jade once she has her mind set on something. Oh no.
Sharing a room with another guy? You’ll be fine, right? After all, you are 1005% sure you are NOT GAY. At all. Nope. You will develop a beautiful broship with this kid that will be have a fucking record-breaking amount of no homo. It will be legendary.
