certain efforts of becoming a queen should handle all the hard works and A queen will have both great wisdom and become brave.
but by the owners of cruelty and greediness in this monarchy, the people see the queen as entitled, unhappy, dysfunction...
Sunlight shines under the door like a ghoul's grin, yet gives the shutters a halo of golden rays. That's the new morning, sinner and saint, just like me. Upon waking up, i had such weirdest dream. tears streaming down on my face as i touched it.
me? a queen?
i don't know how to simply describe it but that was definitely a nightmare rather than a dream.
soon after my mom called.
"Nicole? why are you still in your bed? you have school to go and Tera is waiting for you"
" oh right, i'll be up and be ready."
(that's right, she's Nicole from my other story of "Suddenly a rival in the shoujo manga")
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"what's wrong Nicole? had a nightmare?"
It is when you are in need, my dear new friend has always been there to ease my tension up
"yeah, but i'm fine now"
Meeting someone new is a divine pleasure. Regardless of how things turn out, I love the dance that begins. and it's kind of cool that she has been there to stay with me. i guess it's because we're both singles and no boys to hang out except clyde.
"by the way, how's it been with clyde?"
"oh, him haha it's kind of weird these days cause he's been avoiding me lately. although he seems to become more bashful recently."
ohhhhh~~~ he likes you haha i knew it.
"enough about this haha, aren't you going to go and meet that guy who gave you that letter? it's kind of cute that they still make such old way of confessing someone rather than phone."
"pfft. i bet this guy looks old cause his letter seems outdated and old looking as well"
"heyyyy don't be rude Nicole, you should read it before you judge."
"geez, i will"
i don't really know if i should. it's the first time someone did this to me and it's quite unexpected. i mean, it would be cool if he could just come at me and talk but sending me such cliche and cringe way? ugh this is so not cool at all.
as i look at the old style and rustic looking letter in front of me:
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i realized that the handwritings seems awfully familiar??? i don't know but suddenly i had a strange feeling about this. i opened it the letter has so many crease lines, all of them fluffy to the outside from so many times being folded and unfolded.
finally, the moment where i can read it and what it says. although i wasn't quite curious before but this letter has recently been on my mind and was also in my dreams as well...... weird.
seeing through what the writer wrote, i just can't believe how shock i am right now.
My dear Queen,
i was such a fool, a foolish dumb fool. if i could turn back time i would apologize to you hundreds no a thousand times and kneel in front of you and let you know that you were the only woman who cared for me, supported me through my hardships to become who i am and rule the world where we made.
I remember sitting there every night, wishing things would get better with us... Wishing we still Had what we first had... Knowing I still loved you Knowing I would always be there for you... Thinking we had all the time in the world... But it was cut short... The life we had together all the sudden ended... Everything I thought was true was not... I lost my self in that moment.. I felt like A terrible person.... Everything I once imagined in my head of our life together all the sudden ended and would never be again. I knew that we weren't going to last in that place and time but I thought that, that was only in that moment of time... I never thought I'd lose you forever.
The thing that hurt the most is how much I loved you and how much I wanted to keep you.... And you were so easy to replace me and walk away from everything..... I never expected you to take care of what you thought was yours but I did think you had enough love there to keep some relation.
It's soo hard to think how much I still feel for what we had and what we were... when i wasn't seem to care at all.
i ignored you, abused you because of my own greed. betrayed such beautiful person and now look..... i am a fool and a terrible man
I have to try holding myself together everyday.. But every new month is hard, thinking its another month that I've been without you and it been over...
I just hope I have one more chance with you.. If not in this life then in another... I will never make the same mistake twice...
In such a little amount of time I've grown soo much and it's embarrassing to think of how we acted towards each other... But yet somehow i felt you love there and i also felt the same.
i love you Rosemary....... come back to me.
your King
Tension grew in her face and limbs, her mind replaying the words in the letter. suddenly her thoughts are accelerating inside her head. It's not predictable anger or pain that's the worst, it's the "randoms," stuff you know is coming, just never when. The randoms work on the mind as a torture, elevating primal fear, decreasing logic and self-control.
I wanted to take away the power of the painful memory for hurt, prove to myself that I could choose to move on.
ahhh is this some memory? all along it wasn't a dream.
suffering, her memory of it, her hands tremble as she suddenly felt the numbness through her body and went to deep sleep.
Nicole is a character from my other story of "Suddenly a rival in the shoujo manga" a friend of the MC which is Tera. in short, same universe but different plot.
ps. if ya'll thought about her boyfriend from "Suddenly a rival in the shoujo manga".......... peace
