The Space Between

Chapter Four: "A Day To Remember"

Sean laid in bed huddled up against Mark's chest. They were watching movies and had eaten pizza that had been delivered to the room. Right now, Sean was having trouble enjoying himself. Time just kept ticking on and soon Mark would have to leave back to the barracks. He'd only get one more day with him... and then he'd be gone. The weight of feeling like he was losing Mark was crushing him with every passing minute. There just wasn't enough time. Mark stroked his back and side, asking him softly. "How did you know?" Sean scoffed, kissing Mark's neck before telling him honestly. "There was a guy that came through. He was telling everyone not to panic. That it was just a drill... but I saw the news. I decided to prepare just in case. Then you confirmed it by avoiding it... You are terrible at hiding shit from me." Mark kissed his temple, hugging him closer as he purred out. "I just didn't know how to tell you..." Sean wrapped his arm around Mark, muffling against his chest. "I know. But don't worry about me. I can handle it." Sean hid his face in Mark's chest to hide his lie.

He wanted to keep Mark strong. He needed to think clearly. He couldn't let him see how badly this hurt. Otherwise, Mark would never go. Mark ran his hand through Sean's hair, whispering into his ear. "I don't deserve you, Sean. I'm so sorry... I feel like I'm sinking and dragging you with me..." Sean inhaled deeply to loosen the knot in his throat, fighting back tears to tell him confidently. "No. You're not dragging me anywhere. I agreed to this. I've always stood by your side, Mark. And I will continue to be there when you need me." Mark kissed his cheek, hugging him back down against the bed. Sean held him tightly, struggling to hide his pain. He just kept taking deep breaths to get himself through it. When Mark's watch started to go off, Mark pulled away reluctantly. Sean pet Mark's back as he got up to get dressed. Sean stayed snuggled under the blankets, noticing the torn expression on Mark's face. He didn't want to go, and Sean blamed himself. His resolve was breaking. Propping himself up on an arm, Sean forced himself to playfully state out. "Next time when you show up at my door so early, you better have a basket of that Astronaut Ice Cream. Or I just won't forgive you..."

Mark chuckled, then smiled warmly as he asked. "You liked it that much?" Sean nodded, purring out as sweetly as he could. "You know I did. So, you better bring me back some more tomorrow." Mark finished dressing himself, leaning back over the bed to kiss him. Sean stroked Mark's cheek, listening to Mark whisper over his lips after the kiss. "I'll do that. Good night, Sean. I love you." Sean pressed his forehead to his, barely able to reply. "Good night, Mark. I love you too. See you in the morning." Mark pulled away and Sean watched him head for the door. The second the door closed after he left... Sean broke and began to cry into the pillows. He had to get it all out. He couldn't hold it back anymore. Shrinking back behind the covers, he clawed the sheets and let himself fall apart. If he was going to be strong tomorrow... He had to be weak tonight. Sean cried well into the night and even when he stopped, he forced himself to cry more. By the next morning, Sean got up at five and cleaned himself up. His eyes were still red, but he hoped to blame that on being tired. Taking a shower, he got himself dressed and waited to hear him knock.

He paced the room and tried to watch TV, but his mind and heart were just too eager to get this day started. He didn't want to waste a single second... but already he was on the clock. The minutes passed like hours. Every step outside the door had his heart leaping in the hope that it was him. People were clearly filing in. He could hear the families in the hall chatting and asking what they'd do today. Families that would be able to see their loved ones in another month... While his time was so short. Moving to the window, Sean shoved the curtains aside. He hated feeling like he had nothing else to do. Leaning against the window frame, he watched families walk in and out of the hotel. He scanned every face hoping to see Mark. He felt like a damn dog waiting for his owner to come home. He didn't want to be like this, but his body wouldn't let him do anything else. Now that he knew Mark would be leaving... He just couldn't wait to see him. His heart needed to see him. The second he saw him walking toward the hotel, Sean burst out laughing.