The Gold and the Forest

XXIV

Chapter 24: Grieve

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That night, Declan caught up to Vivi walking briskly with tears streaming persistently down her face. She wiped them away rigorously. He winced, knowing that his dumb brother clearly messed up big time.

He fell into step with her.

"Hey." She greeted, even if she was choked up.

"Hey. Walking you home, you know, like the knight in shining armor I am."

She wiped more tears with the back of her hand. "I can't even care that I'm smearing my makeup, I'm sorry."

"It's alright, you still look pretty." He reassured her.

"Why do boys always make me cry." She sighed.

"Carl can make grown men cry." Clan waved his hand around. "Granted—he's so stupid he even makes me cry, in frustration."

Vivi broke out into a smile.

"Why is he making you cry, though?"

Vivi turned and looked at the younger boy, his expression genuinely serious.

"Well..." She breathed in. "Maybe it's because I'm so in love with him, but all he sees is—"

"Bonnie?" Clan raised an eyebrow. "Sorry—I meant Min."

"Vivi. Carl may not be completely over the girl who started his love life, but that doesn't mean that he's completely immune to you."

Vivi was taken aback by his comment, and her footsteps halted.

"He never had to try to get someone to like, pity him enough to approach him. Maybe you initiated the beginning too, like most people do with Carl. But this is the first time he's asked someone out to a damn party, right?" His lips curled into a smile, almost proud in a very parental way.

"Honestly, it looks like you've driven him a little mad. Who runs to someone's house early in the morning to see if they're alright?"

"He's a little late all the time, but doesn't mean he wasn't running."

Vivi stood there, drinking in the words, unable to formulate a response. Her heart was pounding.

"Doesn't mean you have to wait for his dumb ass, though." Clan laughed. "Run as far as you can, maybe he will try sprinting faster. Gosh."

Vivi smiled, eyes softening.

"Thank you, Declan."

---

"Forrest..." His eyes land on her lips. She touched his face, holding his jaw gently with her hands. The hint of her perfume on her neck.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips into her forehead, and she smiled.

It felt different from when he kissed Min, since she had always been avoiding his gaze and lost in thought. He thought maybe she was just shy, but he knew that her heart wasn't with him. He envisioned the way her arms would envelope Kade, just as Vivi put her arms around his own waist.

He suddenly felt a horrible pain in his chest, and he pulled back from her.

Guilty.

"Forrest?" Her voice was soft, vulnerable, stripped back.

What was he doing?

"What's wrong?" She asked, like she would forgive anything he did.

Her hands tightened around his shirt with the lengthening silence.

She tried to alleviate the tension, looking for something in her purse. "Forrest... I have something to give you, actually."

She told him to close his eyes and she put something in his hand.

"What is it?" He felt the piece of delicate metal in his hand.

"Guess." She giggled.

"Vivien."

"Okay, fine..." She sighed. "Open your eyes."

He looked down at the small object in his hand and felt a pang of pain hit him so hard he felt dizzy. It was a ring. She... She got me a ring.

"Forrest... I've been thinking..." She bit her lip. "Do you want to be—"

My boyfriend?

He gulped hard. She began to blush, smiling sweetly. She tucked a tuft of hair behind her ear nervously, looking at the ring.

A matching one to hers.

"Vivien."

She looked up, lost in his eyes.

In that moment, she knew something was wrong. The awe turned into hesitation, and then fear.

"I don't love you."

---

Have you ever experienced what it's like to have your own heart clawed and scraped out of your chest cavity?

After he had left the room, she experienced a deep paralyzing pain. After he had disappeared from her life, no messages, no calls, not one word, she felt anger. And after she waited for him for weeks she decided that if he did come back and apologize she would forgive him, because he must have a reason.

Because it's Forrest, after all. He cares about me enough to explain, right?

There was nothing to explain. People leave without explanation. The only thing left to do is grieve. Maybe even forget.

So she grieved for a while, before she had to move on. There were other things to do, and too many people to smile to. Even though the gnawing fear of having not been good enough ate away at her confidence, she smiled.

I don't love you.

It was him, not her. Him. Not her.

And then she found him again. Talking on the phone with Min. With Min. But not her. Not her. Just not her. Maybe he even talked to Kade. Just—

Not me.

That day, she sat on her bed and cried. Alone, in her room, in the house temporarily empty of anyone else except her.

And then she packed it up, packaged it, labeled it. She put this sadness and insecurity away. There was not enough time, not enough resources, not enough of her to deal with how absolutely destroyed she felt.

So when she faced him again—when he stood behind that counter looking for her manager, she wavered. The little package showed up on her bedside table like a possessed object. Open me.

So she started reading the labels. The warning signs.

And now she started opening it.

She started healing.

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