CHAPTER ONE
BIRTHDAY
There are so many things I would like to say to you now but I can’t. I want to apologize for so much, for doing this to you, Caius and your mother but I can’t. Daughter words cannot express how sorry I am and now your fifteenth year of life there is something I want to say. I’m sorry I didn’t hear your first word, I never saw you take your first step. I haven’t been able to watch you grow up like most fathers. What am I saying, I haven’t even been a father to you, and I feel so guilty now. What kind of dad dumps his beautiful kids with his beautiful wife whom he still loves? I really wish I wasn’t doing this now but it’s too late. I can’t face you knowing all the things I have done to hurt you. It’s not fair on you that I wasn’t there to teach you how to ride a bike. I wasn’t able to be with you on your first day of school. I wasn’t there to see you get an award or be in a play or win a race. I haven’t been there to hold you in my arms when you were sad or be there to listen to you laugh when you are happy. I cannot apologize enough and I really wish it did not have to be this way. I wish I could be with you on your fifteenth birthday opening presents, eating cake and reading this letter, though if I was with you now you wouldn’t have to be reading this. I want to see you and Caius smile again. I want to hear you cry for us in the night. I want to feed you again, playing aeroplanes with a spoon of goop and listening to you laugh as you ate it.
The day you were born I was the happiest man alive; I was so excited to finally have a baby. The nine intense months of waiting had been hard but when you two popped out I was over the moon. I loved you so much having only known you for a few moments. In the end I had to leave, I couldn’t take the stress. I got into bad habits; I wasn’t a good role model for you kids and you were living in a bad environment, for your own safety I had to leave. I nearly died one night; it is only because of some excellent medical staff and the love of your mother that I am alive now. Your mother found me almost dead in the flat. She alerted the hospital and stood by my side for three days until I woke up. When I finally did I knew it was time for me to go. I couldn’t live with you knowing that my habit was getting worse and the pain it put you and your mother through. The next morning when your mother woke up I was gone. She didn’t know where I was gone either.
You are a part of me and always will be and although we are not together I will always love you and you will always have a place in my heart. I hope one day we will finally meet
Forever yours.
Simon Breville
‘Wow,’ I said breathlessly.
‘This is kind of intense,’ my twin Brother Caius said to mum after finishing reading his letter ‘Are you sure this isn’t a joke?’
‘It’s not a joke,’ mum said darkly her eyes welling up with tears.
‘Mum,’ I whispered stroking her arm ‘I know this is hard for you but Caius and I really need to know what happened,’
She looked at Caius who nodded, she sighed
‘Layne Caius, please sit down,’ obediently we plonked onto the couch.
‘Well, um where do I start,’ She said nervously rubbing her hands together.
‘The beginning,’ Caius said cheekily and I elbowed him hard in the ribs. He stifled a groan then smiled weakly
