Stefan Salvatore's daughter ~ Miracle

98. Darkness is a hidden part of us all...

Kol's P.O.V.

I did it... I cowardly did it... Why did I do something so stupid? Why I broke it...? She'll be so disappointed... I am walking back to the house, blood drooling down my chin and mouth, falling on my blood soaked shirt... Tears are streaming one by one on my cheeks as I stare straight in front of me. It's like... It's like I am here physically, but not in my mind. I just can't do it anymore... I thought I could, but I need my Love with me. I'm that dark guy without her... I took a huge step back, bringing me back to my wild life I used to have before her. However, this time, I'm not only wild but also a wreck. Wrecked by love and grief... I don't even pay attention to what is surrounding me... All I can think about is her... Her, her and her... I'm a lost cause... I keep on walking, dragging my feet in the dirt as all I want to do is to let my body sink on the ground.

- It was about time. I was going to co... I hear the familiar voice of my brother telling me with a slight annoyed tone. Though, he paused when he must have seen myself and state. Kol? He calls me as I see him lifting his hand. Hesitating, he puts it on my shoulder. I don't move and stare at the ground. Tears continue to fall down my cheek as the pain is taking over me. Kol... What did you do? He asks me with a serious voice. Though he already knows the answer... I shake my head negatively as I start to groan in pain. Kol, I need you to take a breath and calm down, he says calmly which surprised me. He's not like this usually... I continue to shake my head as I stare at the shed. Meryll... What if she sees me like this? She can't see me like this... Kol, listen to me. It's all right. I all alright, assures calmly, Niklaus to me. I step back from him groaning louder. Someone just rip my heart out, please... I bend down feeling like I want to shout at the world. Hey, little brother... I look up at him, my face transforming. Nik crouches in front of me. It won't last forever. She will come back and I'll make sure of it. I'll find the strongest witch in this world if I have to and I'd be ready to give my life for her so you two can be together, I stare at him still groaning in pain. But for this, I need you to stay alive, he tells me seriously and with a calm tone. Alive...? There's nothing alive inside of me anymore... She was the one making me feel alive. I straighten and shake my head negatively again. He can't die... He won't do it... It's all a lie. Just lie, lie, lie! He's about to be a father, why would he do something like that? Kol...? He calls me, but I ignore him. Instead, I place my hand over my heart and begin to try to rip it out of my own chest. I grunt and growl in pain, screaming as I fall on my knees. No, stop! Stop it! Screams, Nik, rushing up to me and pushing my hand away. My fingers are covered of my blood as he holds it at the opposite of my heart, making sure I won't restart.

- Let me join her! I need her, Nik...! I need her to live. I'm... I'm a bloody broken emotional coward, I tell him with hate and anger toward my own self while staring at my brother. The tears won't stop falling, staining my skin and shirt as it gets mixed up with the blood. Please, let me join her... I plead him, about to try to rip my heart out again. However, Nik stops me, holding firmly my hand away.

- Never. Do you hear me? I will never let you join her because she will be the one joining us! Do you understand me? He answers to me with a serious and stern voice, frowning at me. He releases my hand and I drop it on the ground. I hate it... I shake my head negatively while crying loudly in front of him. I don't think I have ever been so hurt before... Why does it hurt so much? Why does love and death hurt so much? Suddenly, Nik takes me into an embrace which I truly didn't see coming. I didn't react at first, but then, I rapidly wrapped my arms around him. It will be okay, Little Brother, because she will come back, he whispers, sounding so sure of himself. How can he be so sure in that time?