That night I lie in bed, willing my thoughts to turn off, if only for a few scare moments of sleep. I keep my eyelids forced shut as I take even, slow breaths, attempting meditation. After half an hour of failing miserably, I drag myself out of bed, hitting my head on the bottom of Jace's bunk. His snoring hitches for a moment, but he doesn't wake.
I rub my head, feeling a small bump forming just above my forehead. Ouch.
The night is as quiet as New York can be, dull horns honking every once an a while with the undertone of light rain slapping the roof. The moon's fluorescent light shines through the blinds, the glint igniting the floor boards. I quietly twist the doorknob and slip into the hallway.
To my surprise, mom's door is open, the faint light of her lamp streaming into the otherwise dark hall.
I follow the light into the room and find her kneeling at her bedside, strands of her hair falling from her bun. She's still in her scrubs, and I see a tear slip down her face.
"Mom?"
She startles. Swallows and wipes the emotion from her eyes. "Hi, sweetie."
"You're home from work?" I whisper.
"They let me go early—I had a headache." She rises from the floor and sits on the bed, motioning for me to come sit beside her. "What're you doing up?"
"Couldn't sleep," I mumble, sinking into the bed at her side.
"Nightmares?"
"No. Jace's snoring," I mutter.
She cracks a smile and wraps an arm around me. "Would you like to sleep in here?"
"Really?" My voice is on the edge of breaking, emotion stepping through the cracks.
"Sure."
I squeeze her hand as I stand. As I climb underneath the covers, she tucks me in, her gentle touch sending waves of peace through my bones. I let my body sink into the bed, close my eyes, and for the first time in days, sleep.
• • •
I arise with the dawn. Light trickles through my mother's half-closed blinds, streaking across the bedspread.
My mother's gone. To pull another shift, no doubt.
I stumble back to Jace and I's room, expecting him to still be sound asleep. So I jump when I find him up, fully clothed, pulling on a pair of tennis shoes. He sits on the floor, tying his shoelaces like it's not four in the morning.
"Um, good morning?" I say.
"Where were you all night?"
"Mom's room."
His head snaps up. "Mom's home?"
I shake my head in distain. "Not anymore."
His eyes fall to the floor, sullen.
I trace my bare foot across the floor as he stands up and pulls on his jacket. "Where are you going?" I ask.
"It's where we're going."
"Okay," I say, dragging my bare foot along the floor. "Where's that?"
"The cemetery."
My eyes widen. "When?"
He stands, pulling on his jacket. "Before we shatter."
• • •
I stand at my father's grave, this time with Jace at my side. I lean my head on his shoulder and am happy to see that for once, he doesn't pull away.
The rain is damp on my skin, but I don't let it bother me. The world is passing in slow motion around me, and my heart is thrumming intensely.
A sob bubbles up in my throat, and I let the tears fall, knowing that the hard moments will pass. My brother pulls me into a hug, lets me fall apart. I cry and break and crumble and fall and shake until—
"Are we going to be okay?" I whisper the words into his shoulder, so soft at first I doubt he hears them.
But after a moment he whispers back, "Yes. We're going to be okay."
YOU ARE READING
Before We Shatter
Short StoryOne family One certain past One unknown future Kai and Jace are twins. And near enemies. Their relationship has been broken into fragments. What will it take to restore what has been lost?