Fangs and scars (Kou X Azusa)

Why is that?

After dinner,  Azusa sat in  the living room with his brothers per the usual.  This was when they just enjoyed each other's company. It was easily Azusa's favorite part of the day, aside from when he was able to cut himself.  His brothers' presence felt warm. They were his only real family after all. Yes, if he had never met them... well Azusa didnt really want to think about that. What was really bothering him was how his feelings toward Kou seemed to differ somehow. Was he special? Azusa's body seemed almost out of his control when he was around Kou. 

He felt safe around all of his brothers, but Kou made him feel like he belonged near him, as if he was supposed to be by the other vampire's side.  This was just all so confusing. Pain was so much easier. It was straight-forward. You'd feel the sting and know what it was. Your body and mind wouldn't be conflicted, fighting against confusion you just can't understand. It didn't even matter where the pain came from.  It didn't matter who delivered the blow, the pain would remain the same.  Azusa wished he could feel pain instead, it was so much easier. He briefly considered angering one of his brothers on purpose. He needed to feel pain, and he needed it now.  His thoughts were consuming him.

" Azusa. You've been staring off into space for a while now. What's the matter?" 

Azusa jumped, startled out of his thoughts by Ruki's voice. 

"oh... Ruki..Its nothing..." 

"Somehow, I don't believe that. "

"No... It isn't.. Ruki... could you please.... just hit me...?" 

Ruki sighed, but didnt raise his hand to the younger vampire. Instead, he sat beside him. 

"No, I wont hit you. But you know we have been asking you to stop using that as a coping mechanism.  What's bothering you?" 

Azusa didnt answer him aloud, looking at Kou, who was too involved in his conversation with Yuma to notice.  Ruki followed his gaze. 

"Kou?"

"mhm...I just... Dont understand... " 

"You don't understand what?" 

"My feelings... I feel weird around him.. Yuma... and you.. I feel safe.... around you guys... but with Kou... It's different somehow... I... I want him to hurt me... but I want him to do more.... and I feel... like I dont have control of my own... body... Why is that...? Is something wrong... with me... Ruki?"

Ruki paused.  

He's trying... to spare my feelings isnt he?.... 

Finally, Ruki spoke again. 

"No. Your feelings are normal. They just---" 

Before Ruki could finish his sentence, he was interrupted by glass shattering.  Azusa gasped as a pack of wolves hopped through the windows, teeth bared and snarling. Kou and Yuma jumped to their feet, and everyone got into defensive positions. Dread filled Azusa's chest and a shiver ran up his spine. Why were these wolves here? What did they want?

"Shit! What's going on?" Yuma shouted, flinging one of the wolves to the side. 

"I don't know, but we could be in a lot of trouble!" Kou cried, jumping backwards, trying to dodge the animals. 

Azusa tried to do the same, but he didnt have much room to move. He let out a gasp as he felt his back hit the wall. A wolf jumped at him, and his heart pounced into his throat. He was going to die here, before even figuring what his feelings meant. He braced for impact, closing his eyes. He was suprised when he felt no pain. Ruki stood in front of him protectievly. 

Azusa gasped, and he tried to push Ruki out of the way, but it was too late. The wolf bit into Ruki's flesh, ripping it open and making blood spray. 

"RUKI!"