The Professor [ Kylo Ren fanfic ]

pilot

'So here I am...again.' was my first thought while heading into the school's art gallery. Trying to clean up my mind, I took my journal from my purse, focusing on the notes I wrote so naively in the first pages. At first I believed that joining an art class wouldn't be difficult. I was so wrong. I have no idea of how to improve my artistic skills and certainly Mr. Brown quitting his job wasn't helpful at all.
Mr. Brown was the only good teacher I've ever had in my entire life, he really wanted his students to improve their skills and have fun while doing it. I still can't believe he left. Sure, he might have his reasons but I feel lost without his guidance. I know it sounds selfish, even though everything I say always sounds like it.

Deep down I thought my ideas were decent, however I'm currently evaluating if I should go back home. The whole thing about a new teacher scared me. After all, that meant I wouldn't be comfortable talking about my ideas in class without thinking I sounded really stupid.
Even if my notes were mediocre or decent I still wanted the rest of the class to take a look at them. I want to feel proud of the things I do, especially since I'm constantly self-sabotaging myself. I'm tired of feeling like I don't deserve good things to happen in my life. Always putting other people's needs before my own necessities. Am I starving for some self love or just love?

'Olivia!' a voice brung me back to reality, it was Sophie. Sophie is my bestfriend, well she's my only friend.
She's a gorgeous ginger, with intimidating green eyes and a bad bitch attitude. The total opposite to me, an average black haired girl with pale skin and grey eyes. I'm very boring looking compared to her colorful outfits and loudly (and sometimes very annoying) raspy, but sexy, voice. My voice is deep and low, I'm a very calm person. I never do anything out my comfort zone, I'm shy, and sometimes that just fucks things up for me.

'Hi Saf, how are you?' I said as she approached to me in the middle of the hallway, she looked tired of running. She runs everywhere, and honestly don't know if that's necessarily exercising. Her short and curly hair waved at me before she did. She was wearing her iconic yellow dress and black leather boots.
'Liv I texted you last night about today's meeting in the park with the guys, right? I honestly can't remember if I did'
'Yes you did, and I said I wasn't going. You know that I don't know anyone in the class but you, I never know what I'm supposed to do or say around them'
'You might as well come with us and try to enjoy another human being's company. C'mon, you can't just avoid people forever'
'Watch me' were my last words as we entered the classroom. All the looks were on Sophie's dress. She's hot and she knows it, however decides to deny it.

We walked to our seats and waited to the new professor to arrive. I started to take of my purse my journal and pen when he showed up. The new professor was very tall, his dark hair was soft, his pale skin gave the impression of an angel, he looked freshly shaved. His hazel eyes reflected a passion for life that left me shocked. He's the definition of handsome. He had a paper in his, extremely big, hand. Examining it like his career depended on it. Then he looked at the class, satisfied, started to head down to his new desk. Then he left his suitcase on it and proceeded to introduce himself: 'Hello everyone, my name is Kylo Ren and I'm your new art professor. I look forward to work with all of you as equals so don't be afraid to ask any questions about the subject or about me. I promise I won't bite'. A tiny smirk showed up while the class laughed for a brief moment. He looks like the type of guy with enough confidence to provoke at least one laugh in the room without even trying to be funny.

I felt immediately intimidated by his presence. OKAY OLIVIA HE IS VERY HOT BUT YOU NEED TO KEEP IT UP GIRL DON'T LET ANYONE SEE HOW HE MAKES YOU FEEL, my thoughts are out of control.
Luckily Sophie saved me from going partially insane:
'Do you think he will talk about the renaissance era, because we were supposed to see it this week but I completely forgot about it and I left my notes at home'
'Don't worry' I said downplaying the matter 'He would probably just ask what are the contents for this semester to catch up and then, I don't know, maybe someone will get him to talk about himself for the next fifteen minutes, like all the professors'
'Oh okay, I really hope someone distracts him from actually giving classes' she looked relief, but I didn't even care about the class anymore.

My mind was all around the thought of Kylo Ren, he looks incredibly young to be a professor. I wonder if he's single.
He asked for the list of contents of this semester, as I knew he would, and then started to catch up. To be honest, he arrived a little late so I wasn't surprised when the bell rang.

Ren's class was the first of the day so, I was already nervous. I wish I could control my emotions instead of them controlling my behavior. Walking to the cafeteria, I realized that I left Sophie alone in the bathroom. How could I forgot I was in the bathroom with her? I ran back and found Sophie fixing her makeup on the mirror. She looked at me for a brief second and then closed her mascara, 'You left me alone Liv, we were talking and suddenly I heard no response from you' she was between confused and angry.
'Sorry Saf I just..I had like a blackout or something and forgot I was here with you'
She put the mascara in her bag and then we started heading out of the bathroom.

On the way to the cafeteria we didn't talk, mostly because I thought she was mad at me so I focused my brain on Kylo Ren. I can not believe that a man like that exists, he's cute, likes art and is funny. I mean I'm basing his personality on the briefly moments I contemplated him. I need to get to know him better, I definitely sound a little bit obsessive but he's out of my league so nothing will happen ever.