The Lucky Ones

Chapter 18 - Biggest Crescendo...

A/N: And we’re back to Taylor’s perspective (a chapter early, but we’ll pretend it’s an even amount). Also, there is explicit content in this – or well, okay.. it’s not necessarily explicit but it sure isn’t meant for kiddie eyes.

The first kiss had been unexpected. I hadn’t expected him to kiss me when I mentioned it the day before at the interview. It was just a fear I was sharing with him. But then he had kissed me and it was nice. More than nice, actually. It was probably one of the best kisses I have ever experienced. I’m not sure if that’s because he’s a great kisser or if it’s because there awoke some kind of feeling in me that hadn’t been around in quite some time. It was that exhilarating feeling of fear and desire and comfort and security all rolled into one that no possible word in the English language could ever describe. Somebody had broken my heart badly enough for me to seriously question whether or not I was able to feel that way again. I was ecstatic to learn that I could, even for a brief moment.

The kiss he placed on my neck was electric. I felt a hum shoot through my entire body and goose bumps raise over my arms and along the back of my neck. I tried not to shiver, not wanting to give away the feeling it pulled from somewhere deep within me. Our eyes met for the moment that felt like an eternity and then he was kissing me again. It was less timid than the first one had been, more powerful and dominant – like he knew what he wanted and there was no question behind it. There was something alluring about how confident he was when he held me close to him or moved his lips against my own. His free arm moved around my waist and pulled me against him, his other hand still hooked onto my neck to keep me in the kiss – as if I needed to be kept in it.

We mutually deepened the kiss and I turned around in his embrace a little, my hands resting on his chest delicately. His own hands moved from my waist and my neck to slide up my now bare back, causing me to arch toward him a little bit. The room seemed to grow exponentially warmer, though I knew the moment we pulled away from each other the temperature would drop significantly. Even when we did break the kiss, however, we stayed lingering close to each other – our lips still touching and our breath mingling together. It was one of the most intimate moments of my life.

And of course, I had to go and ruin it.

"Do…" I whispered, my voice trembling as my nerves caught up with my desire.

"Do you?" He responded huskily, his forehead touching mine.

I stood there, enfolded in his embrace, and thought about it. Losing my virginity to Jake hadn’t necessarily been a mistake, but it had definitely not been a highlight. I had promised myself that when I had sex next it would be with someone that I knew wouldn’t hurt me and would care for me. Color me silly, but I had this romantic notion in my head that I could be like a girl out of a cheesy teen romantic comedy who had sex with her best guy friend because she knew that he would always care about her no matter what. But that hadn’t happened and I was left wondering when I had become so stupid. It was too late to take it back and I knew that, but I cared about Harry and he cared about me and the sexual tension was there. We couldn’t just ignore it, could we?

"Yeah," I finally replied, trying to trap the butterflies that were in my stomach, "I do." This was it. This was the point of no return. There was no turning away now. There was no looking back, only forward. Everything would change right here. Our relationship, our friendship, how we saw each other. Everything was going to become something completely different and form into something completely new and we might not like it, but this was it. This was what we wanted, the both of us. It wasn’t some decision anyone else made and that was part of the appeal. After being told what to do, what to say, how to do it or say it, this was our own decision on our terms and it was freeing.

"Okay," he mumbled before lifting me up a little bit and carrying me from the bathroom. I slipped my arms around his neck to keep myself from sliding from his embrace and leaned down to kiss him again. When I was younger, I imagined this was how first times were supposed to go; with passion and lust but love and tenderness, too. Mine hadn’t been that way. Maybe this was a way to make up for it. Even if I wasn’t in love with Harry, there was something there and maybe I needed to get over my foolish schoolgirl notion that being in love was the only right way to do things. Things weren’t black and white like that. They were gray; so incredibly gray.

He laid me down on the bed and I nervously pulled my hair over my shoulder and watched as he pulled his t-shirt off over his head. The amount of nerves that were boiling up inside of me were on par with the nerves I felt performing in front of thousands of people for the first time. They were that kind of great want-to-be-amazing nerves that seemed to follow you whenever you knew you had a chance of doing something great and didn’t want to disappoint anyone – especially not yourself. The desire was still there, buried inside me so deep that I could feel it aching, but the nerves were at the surface showing much more visibly than I would have liked.

Which was probably why he took both of my hands as they tried to rake their way through my hair viciously and linked my fingers, bringing them to rest on either side of my head. I looked up at him as he squeezed my hands gently and then leaned up to meet him in a kiss. Our lips connected and fire shot through me, red hot and burning with the passion and desire that had been bubbling beneath the surface of nerves. It was almost as if I could forget everything when he was kissing me and I knew then that there was no point in denying that I was falling for him. If it was one thing I learned over the past few years, though, it was to keep my mouth shut about my emotions – it only led to pain and heartbreak.

His mouth moved against mine feverishly but still gentle enough to keep the entire scene like something out of some romantic French movie. He only released my hands when he moved his own to pull the straps of my dress down over my shoulders, gently peeling it away and exposing my skin to the warm air of the room. Harry’s lips trailed down from mine along my jaw, leaving hot spots down to my neck. There his teeth scraped a little and my breath hitched in response while my hands traveled down his chest and stomach to undo his belt, my fingers trembling from overpowering emotions. My head began to swim like it did the night I had too much to drink in London; my focus was dwindling away as his breath trailed along the inside of my neck and down to my shoulder.

I worked on kicking my heels off and flinging them a bit of ways away from us and the bed, feeling much more comfortable now that they were off. Harry mumbled something about me being talented in shoe stripping and I laughed quietly and breathily against his hair, feeling my nerves shatter a little at the small conversation. We finished undressing each other as hot kisses were exchanged and marks were left on skin. The humidity in the air around us had grown thick from the energy even with how slow we were moving.

When our bodies finally connected, it was an intense moment where everything seemed to still around us. I surrounded him as he pushed and I clung to him as my depths were filled. This was not the same as it had been my first time. This was not terrifying and painful. I felt nothing but gratification and fulfillment as our bodies moved together and moans filled the air. I felt nothing but sheer pleasure as my hands raked over his skin and his teeth nipped at already sore spots on my skin. There was a mixture of heart beats, breathing, and moans of satisfaction from the both of us – it was a different kind of music that neither of us could ever make nor translate.

Everything felt on fire and cold at the same time. I was pulled up high only to be dragged down low again, ebbing with the tide of passion and lust. We moved together, rolling over in the bed until the sheets and blankets were tangled around us. Everything grew more rigorous and reckless as we built up to that final note together – to that big crescendo where desire was most satiated – and then crashed all at once like a tidal wave hitting a tall wall. We sank into the ocean of satisfaction in unison and everything was so bright clear as I rested my head on his chest, both of us trying to catch our breath and see through the brightness that surrounded us.