Roses' Books Critique

Faisal

Book Title: Faisal
                 Author: A_book_Lover3456
                 Reviewer: IzzahFatima2 

1. Cover: To be honest, I really liked the simplicity of the cover. The font style and colour also fit perfectly. I suggest increasing the font size a bit because your cover looks kind of empty and add your name or at least the username at the top or bottom of the cover, wherever you think it looks better. You should also add a small quote, a deep phrase or even any impactful dialogue from your book under the title.
2. Title: 'Faisal' is honestly a suitable title. I really like it. Though, you can have even better ones.
3. Description: The paragraph you have added in the blurb is deep & true. But you need to give some information regarding the storyline too and try making a lengthier description between 150-250 words.

4. Character Development: I wasn't exactly satisfied with this part. There was not much description for any of the characters, their nature etc. Plus, in the last chapter when Faisal came at Mariam's house, you did not mention about how he realized, what was the change, how did he change etc. Plus in that span of 3 years' time, was there any change in Mariam's personality? I mean she did not get her true love, so there had to have some change in her nature like you could have shown that she has become more bitter or negative or doesn't believe in love anymore etc.

5. Plot Development: I loved your storyline and the ideas and messages you were trying to convey. But it seemed like everything happened in a rush. Specially that 3 years' span was a bit too much. In the second chapter when you went back to the past, it was all too sudden. You should have tried adding some more chapters of the present and then should have gone back to the past.

There was more telling than showing in your book. Like in chapter 5, you wrote that 'He started to behave cold and distant.' Then you should have mentioned some incidents or events that supported your above statement and justified the fact that yes, he was being harsh. Then, it was mentioned in the book that he came to know that Arzoo is not interested in him (Chapter 5). Give some details about how did he come to know that? Did someone else tell him? or he heard her talking or any other possibility.

Try to justify your statements by certain events and get into the details. You need to work more in certain parts such as Arzoo leaving Pakistan. Elaborate on when she left, when was their last interaction, why did she leave etc. One more example of the part where you need to make certain changes is that in chapter 5 the readers were told that Aysha mistakenly told some other girl about Faisal's feelings for Arzoo. Firstly, you need to write about this event and then suddenly, and then suddenly the setting of your book changed and Isaac and Faisal came.

Then, we have that thing about Isaac and Yasmin. There were no details on it. Like we understand that Faisal didn't take it nicely as it was about her sister. But you should have added about he understood and realized his mistake and started respecting her sister's decision. That would have added to the list of morals that can be extracted from your story. Last but not the least, try to use fewer curse words. As your book is based on Muslim characters, you probably know that Muslims don't usually curse but that's totally up to you and your decision to make.

If you add more details into the story and make some changes, it can easily become a novella and that too, a great one.

6. Grammar: I think you can improve your grammar even more. Like there's is always space for improvement. But honestly, clear improvements can be seen in every chapter. Like your writing style and grammar became better and better by every passing chapter. Keep it up!

7. Punctuation: This is where there were some errors. But from what I felt like they weren't those errors which you make when you don't know the punctuation rules. They are those mistakes, one makes when he or she doesn't proofread their part before publishing so keep care of that.

8. Layout: Okay, so you need to work here. First of all, it is a rule of literature that starts every dialogue with a new line. Plus, a paragraph should have at the least, 5 sentences. Your paragraphs were quite small having between 2-3 sentences. But that's okay! You can always repair it

9. Overall: I really enjoyed the story throughout and I was immensely Impressby the way you started your chapters, seriously. Your beginnings are absolutely beautiful!! And I loved the messages you conveyed through your words. But I strongly suggest hire an editor, please. Trust me when I say that once you hire a good editor and make some changes, this book will become a GEM

10. A brief comment on what to improve: I think I have said enough. Again, just hire an editor, get into the details of the events, take this review positively, Keep going and you will certainly achieve your goal because you have the potential and talent! I apologize for any typos. PM me if you need me to help you in anything. I am always open.❤️❤️ Last but not the least, Thanks for choosing me as your reviewer.I hope you are satisfied with your review. If you aren't you can always request a new review from a different reviewer and as I mentioned above, you can PM me too.💗 I am glad to have an opportunity to review such an amazing book. 💌