Alone

4: the whole truth. [TRIGGER WARNING]

this chapter will be going over the topics of r**e and sexual assault. please read with caution.

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Brent

Over the past three days, I've been trying my hardest not to spazz out. Essence hasn't been returning my calls, and I need her to answer so that we can figure this shit out. Although I didn't thoroughly believe her when she told me that Samir wasn't mine at the studio, I needed answers. I've never suspected that Essence was cheating on before we had our kid.

I mean, I was only 19 and she was 18. We first got together in my sophomore year of high school, so the relationship was like a fairytale, damn near. She was the only lady in my life who understood what a nigga like me had to go through. And trust me, I was going through alot. Dealing with poverty and the after- effects of my childhood with abuse from my father, Essence would just be a foul ass human being to deceive me like this.

Maybe that's why I don't believe it.

Essence was my rock during those times of my life. We were literally inseparable. It wasn't until after Samir was born that we started having issues. She had become very ill and every single doctor that we saw couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. I was going through my shit, and she was going through hers.

She was sleeping all of the time, she never had any time of motivation- no matter how much I showered her with love and support. We went long periods of time without having sex and everything was just in shambles. I knew that she had fell into a deep depression and I knew that bringing a baby into that environment wasn't ideal- but we prolonged the relationship as long as we could.

Now I'm thinking.

Was she fucking around when she was sick? Was she even sick? Am I the one to blame? How did I not see this coming?

After all of this time of believing that I successfully healed and moved on from this relationship, now this other mess is attacking my mind.

Stressed out and on the verge of tears, I dialed Essence one more time.

"Oh my God nigga what do you want?!" She finally picks up. I jump to my feet.

"Essence. Wait before you say anything else-"

"Im not playing boy what the hell do you want?"

"JUST LISTEN! PLEASE!" I am tired of this woman.

No answer. Finally.

"We need to talk about our child. I promise, whatever it is you gotta tell me, I'm not gonna overreact. I just wanna know the truth Ess. For my sanity, your sanity, and Mir's. I need to know."

There was a long pause.

"....Fine."

"Fine?"

"I don't wanna talk about it over the phone. Meet me at Red Robin in an hour." Click. She hangs up. Jesus, why is this woman so difficult?

Thankfully, Mir is at my aunt's house right now so I actually have time to get ready. I honestly do miss Ess and I'll be excited to see her if she not on that bullshit with me.

I personally believe that she has built up anger against me for not wanting to kill myself over the relationship. Or shit, maybe she blamed me for why things never worked out. Hell, I don't know. It'll be interesting to her all that she has to say over lunch.

Again, though, I still miss her.

So, I gotta show out.